To think that home schooling is a bit cult like?

[WobblyWellies]

This is purely anecdotal but based on a group of friends who are all home schooling now, it makes me feel like there is a cult like element to it. There's definitely a click amongst the mums. One of my friends in the group has changed quite a bit since she started home schooling. She's almost become a bit militant about the whole thing. She often posts things on social media about how terrible schools are for children and how home schooling is much better. I feel like she's stirring things up. I am in fact a teacher but I don't push school on people I meet or social media, it's totally individual choice how you want your child educated. I'm not sure if my friend is out to convert people.

However, I do see homeschooling as a privilege to a certain extent because it relies on a parent not working (or part time) and is self funded for the majority. My friend has a house with acres of land and woods, she does loads of outdoor learning with her kids which is great but I wouldn't say it's the norm to have that.

So this group of friends are very clicky over homeschooling and it feels like a them and us scenario now.

Aibu to say it's like a cult for some people?

Few home-educators segregate their children from other children. Or segregate themselves from society generally. Or are hiding from the real world.

Most home-educators put in a lot of effort to provide opportunities for both education and socialisation.
Additionally, a lot of the time, home-ed children meet children from backgrounds that they wouldn't otherwise meet had they gone to their local school, where they'll likely meet children who live within a few miles of them and are within 12 months of their own age and often have similar cultural and/or socio-economic backgrounds.

With that said, some home-educators are weird -or possibly are very different from you or what you've come across.
Equally, there are definitely weird school parents.

Yes, school and work aren't exactly the same but most people work because they have to and would rather not be - having a choice between a few unenjoyable jobs doesn't change that.

I don't think it's as black and white as that for adults.

That would be an unfair comparison unless you also look at the number of children who come out of school with very few qualifications, don’t go to university and don’t get good jobs. Why are home educators constantly being compared to the highest achievers? And even then what good are these academic achievements if mental health is not taken into account? Far more interesting to me would be how many children get the grades they need to move on with their career or education in whatever area that might be and feel fulfilled and happy and confident. Looking at grades in isolation is meaningless.

Some children cannot cope in the school environment and there’s literally no other option

My eldest got all level 9s in gcses we had to do them privately

I've got some friends who home ed who are like this - one was even posting in the first lockdown how beneficial it was for families to be able to spend more time together and how more people would see the benefits of home ed and wouldn't send their kids back to school! She deleted my response that pointed out my DD was stressed and miserable away from preschool with no other child to play with and was having far less actual quality time with her family as we were having to work and care for her in shifts to keep our jobs going!

I know four families that home ed. None of them know each other.
One is doing a brilliant job, is doing loads of stuff with her kids in terms of education, who also do Brownies/Guides, sports stuff, pooled classes with other families, drama and dance. They are lovely, well-rounded, sociable kids.
One is unschooling and is very child-led. The 10yo is still showing no sign of being able to read but is excellent at maths. They barely leave the house especially since Covid and the two kids have very few interactions with any other children or families. The kids have poor communication skills and don't understand how to interact with other children on the few occasions they do meet them.

Cult-like is more than a little sensationalist.

As an experienced secondary maths teacher, I previously never liked the idea of homeschooling, but like many others looked for a way to leave classroom teaching (whole other topic) and ended up teaching for one of the many, rapidly expanding, online schools a few years ago.

We pick up a lot of previously homeschooled kids when their parents concede they can't teach all the GCSEs themselves. As mentioned frequently already on this thread, social skills are often a concern and academic levels are often far below their in-school peers putting them at a real disadvantage.

Post-covid we now see lots more kids that have been in traditional school but couldn't cope with going back after the lockdowns, a very high proportion of SEN and it's frightening the impact it's had on our children. And in some cases, it's clearly the parents who are either covid-fearful or anti-vaxxers in a lot of cases.

I love my job though and if you do want to homeschool, for whatever reason, you should definitely research online schools for secondary, KS4 at a minimum as no one person can teach all the GCSEs well - you need specialists. There are loads of options out there for all budgets, from the more well known companies to many small, post-covid start-ups. Some offer selective subjects ie just the core subjects or the ones you don't feel able to teach yourself, if you don't want full time. And, from my observations from the inside, due to how dreadful working in school has become, the standard of teachers working in online schools has become really high, despite salaries generally being a little lower as so many are applying for the jobs.

It's clique, pronounced kleek, not click.

It's not even as if it's generally representative of adult life - I don't have to call my boss Sir and ask his permission to pee.

Yep! I think this whenever people say school is preparing kids for the real world/adult life. No it's not!! Call it what it is - a means to control! School is full of behaviourism because it is effective at keeping everyone in line, not because it considers child development or wellbeing! If everyone wasn't so scared of change or kids going wild, they would give them more autonomy and treat them more respectfully. That would be better preparation!!

We pick up a lot of previously homeschooled kids when their parents concede they can't teach all the GCSEs themselves

How patronising.

I've got some friends who home ed who are like this - one was even posting in the first lockdown how beneficial it was for families to be able to spend more time together and how more people would see the benefits of home ed and wouldn't send their kids back to school!

@RidingMyBike she was correct, the number of home educated children has soared. Lockdown was difficult for everyone, home educators included, people seem to forget that everything stopped for us too, our children also didn’t have their friends to play with. But it did also show many parents that their children were happier at home and hence they deregistered.

Really? I'm a qualified secondary maths teacher of 25 years, examiner for 2 boards, and I concede I can't teach GCSE English, GCSE French ... in fact any of the ones I didn't do to degree level! Any parent who genuinely thinks they can teach a broad range at that level adequately let alone well is delusional.

It's the superior attitude that is patronising. The poster works for a company that provides teaching services to parents. Many of those parents would never have planned to teach their child Maths GCSE. But she is talking as if she's there to pick up the pieces after parents have failed.

What stands out on this thread is a fear of being odd/ weird or not conforming well. I don’t understand it. What’s so wrong with being atypical and happy? For some posters there is clearly an actual fear of being different or encountering different people. If you are happy being a hippy- whatever. It seems like a harmless pursuit. My own parents broke all the social rules at the time, I moved country/ school, stayed at home a bit, lost religion and certainly was brought up away from popular political views. I’m happy in my life.

I have mixed home educating and school with 5 children, according to their needs and wants. They haven’t led wildly different lives or turned out to have completely different characters. The parents I met in school and outside school varied. Maybe in home Ed I met a wider range of nationalities (many home Ed as they don’t like the British system or don’t want to use it on a temporary basis) and philosophies, but there were similar types to be found in general.

@Trying20 I can answer your question, since I was home educated and have had absolutely no problem fitting into university and the workplace 🤣🤣

Short answer: it’s a myth that children at school meet a more diverse range of children than do home educated children. Schools are much more homogeneous and into ‘group think’ than the home ed community. We travelled, in UK and outside it. We attended many different groups, from horseriding, to gymnastics, to folk dance, to meditation and evening art classes. We went to church and on church camps. We joined Guides and other clubs. We played with neighbouring children after they got home from school.

What on earth do you think home educated children do, sit in some kind of cage at home and never go out?! 🤣

Plus - and I’ve tried to let this go but I just can’t - it’s clique. Not click.

😜

I think some certainly can

Homeschool parents seem to fit into certain categories

Those that are doing so for religious reasons (so yes can be viewed as cult like) and they don't want mainstream education swaying their children away from the path of righteousness

Those who are hippies, who don't think schools allow their children to explore their creative side. They should be out, naked, playing in trees not stuck, confined in a classroom like mini prisoners (these are also a bit militant so yes cult like)

Those who have to homeschool due to bullying or their local schools not being able to cope with their children's SEN needs - these are less militant but you still get the odd parent in this group who, through sheer denial, want to make it look like it was a choice over being forced into home schooling

And lastly, the smaller group I'd say from experience, is those who home educate because they think their child is gifted and isn't challenged enough at school. They often also have a bit of any of the above in them (as most in these cases would privately educate over home school if their child was actually gifted)

The three I know are all mums. One is married to a millionaire who works all hours and is office based. She does it all.

The other two are line parents.

So yes the ones I know are all mums.

Plenty of workers do have to ask their boss if they can go to the toilet.
Middle-class people though will not have to.

The problem @ElephantsintheCupboard is that picking up the pieces, or more accurate filling in the gaping holes of what would be normal prior knowledge, is exactly what I end up doing in a lot - not all - cases of students who arrive just for GCSE after fully homeschooling previously with only a parent.

Genuinely didn't mean to come across as patronising, indeed English isn't my specialism. Perhaps I should have said realised instead of concede in my first post. But my point stands, whatever many parents' original intentions with homeschooling, I see kids struggling at GCSE in a way that they wouldn't have, if they had had specialist input sooner.

I am glad homeschooling exists as my last few years' experience has made me realise how much better it can be as an option for students who can't cope with regular school for social or SEN reasons. I am just apprehensive of the sort of homeschooling that doesn't involve any external provision at secondary level as, personally, I can't see how that fully prepares students for today's world. Just my option though based on experience. Not looking for an argument, just sharing it from another perspective.

’I can't imagine anything better than spending all my time with my children’

Better for whom? Children need to interact with other children.

Yep! I think this whenever people say school is preparing kids for the real world/adult life. No it's not!! Call it what it is - a means to control!

By that broad definition adults are under plenty of controls too: taxes, bills, mortages, childcare, etc etc.

I think it can be, but up to each parents to decide. I personally wouldn’t unless absolutely necessary as I think school teaches a key lesson about learning to get along with all sorts of other people.

Surely anyone applying for a maths, English tutoring service by very definition are likely to be behind.
Not many parents will pay good money for a bright child who gets the subject to have a tutor, it's an expensive waste when free study methods exist.
I imagine any education suppliment service will have a large cohort of Sen or those who need extra help, from both homescho and school backgrounds, because of the nature of the beast.