To think that home schooling is a bit cult like?

[WobblyWellies]

This is purely anecdotal but based on a group of friends who are all home schooling now, it makes me feel like there is a cult like element to it. There's definitely a click amongst the mums. One of my friends in the group has changed quite a bit since she started home schooling. She's almost become a bit militant about the whole thing. She often posts things on social media about how terrible schools are for children and how home schooling is much better. I feel like she's stirring things up. I am in fact a teacher but I don't push school on people I meet or social media, it's totally individual choice how you want your child educated. I'm not sure if my friend is out to convert people.

However, I do see homeschooling as a privilege to a certain extent because it relies on a parent not working (or part time) and is self funded for the majority. My friend has a house with acres of land and woods, she does loads of outdoor learning with her kids which is great but I wouldn't say it's the norm to have that.

So this group of friends are very clicky over homeschooling and it feels like a them and us scenario now.

Aibu to say it's like a cult for some people?

Some home educators may home educate in a bubble. Just like some school-going parents are in their own little bubble (for example, I know plenty, those who cannot conceive of anything outside their own small existence of 9-5 in the same/similar job that their parents worked, living in the same town and going to the same place for their annual holiday and expecting that their children do the same)

Many home educated children (mine included) have been exposed to far more diverse people than they would have been had they simply gone to their local school which only draws from its local demographic (in my case, white middle class Conservative voters)

My teens' GCSE results exceed the national average for English and Maths and attainment 8. I taught most almost all of them myself. It is very possible and not particularly difficult either, from an academic point of view.
The stress/difficulty of home ed exams often comes from having the sole responsibility and also things beyond your control like exam cancellations, rather than the teaching. (And for some families, there is the stress of expense because home educators have to pay for everything themselves, including exam fees, and of having to organise SEN access arrangements)

They had lab time at a local university and geography fieldwork on the South Coast, they learned how laws are made in the Houses of Parliament and watched a live debate there, held a mock trial at the Royal Courts of Justice, learned about plants and ecology at Kew Gardens, learned about WW2 at the D Day beaches, learned about motors at Silverstone, learned about water and sewage at the sewage works... the list goes on. Plus all the fun stuff like theme parks.
None of this is particularly unusual for home-ed children. And many of these activites were in groups of 30 students.

If home educators are sometimes "righteous" (or even defensive or angry) it might be because they're dealing with the same misconceptions day-in, day-out from people who make narrow-minded assumptions that home educators are socially isolated with only YouTube and study guides to get them through a GCSE.

I don't know about how home educated children in general fare in the real world because there are no large-scale studies in the UK.
Anecdotally, most of the ones I know have gone onto jobs or uni.
There are a couple who haven't but I am not sure of their outcome would have been any different had they gone to school (they have SEN)
Equally, I know unemployed ex-school-children who seem unable to stick at one thing or hold down a job (and, as far as I know, have no SEN) but nobody blames the school (even though that perhaps is the reason).
Why is it that school hasn't failed unemployed school children but home-ed has failed for unemployed home-ed children.

Anyway, I wouldn't say that home education is better, per se, it is just different - horses for courses and all that.

I always think of two types of people that home school.
One is the vegan, hippy, vaccines are poison type with a compostible toilet. I knew a woman that was home schooled, her father was a vicar. She only sat two gcses and married her boyfriend at 16. She was very nice but also very odd. Hair down to her knees sort of thing.

The other type has a child with complex learning needs or is bullied. I knew of a girl that had severe dyslexia and wasn’t getting the help she needed so her mother home schooled her. From what I could see the mother spent most of her time smoking and drinking tea and occasionally threw a worksheet the daughters way.

But isn't the point that, as an adult, you can generally choose.

Well, most adults choose from a limited range of options and economic necessity. I daresay most office workers neither particualrly like their jobs nor their colleagues with whom they have little in common with beyond having to earn money.

@WobblyWellies OP, you're a teacher and don't know the correct word is "clique" not "click"?

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

The thing is, I don't disagree with homeschooling because I respect individual choice. But I don't like how 'them and us' it seems to now be with my friend. It's just strange that since she's started homeschooling, she's just changed, friendship wise.

Has anyone else found this with home schooling friends?

No,.
I found that when I was forced into HE, so many local schooling parents literally started cutting us dead on the street. We hadn't changed overnight. My child had done nothing wrong. Just SEN, not getting an education, isolated, and a victim of intense bullying.

He found friendships, communities, a few people he didn't get on with as well, and one he really couldn't stand, through home ed. But having additional time and energy every day he also found a huge range of people outside home ed to converse with and know.
Most of the teachers we met were very positive about HE, a couple came out with the usual tropes.
It was only people with school age children who made a big deal of cold shouldering us because he wasn't being educated the same way as their children.
The sadder thing was years later come exam time when no one had spoken to me for years, I suddenly started being stopped on the street and his results demanded from me. No Hi, how are you? how's the last few years gone? Just What did X get?

After years in a different lane, it did seem awfully competitive, and only one parent had the grace to congratulate him.

I don’t think it’s any more cult like than any other parenting choice. Less than some baby lead weaning group's
I’ve done both school and home education. I’m also a teacher.
In an objective sense state schools current funding is inadequate and methodology isn’t in line with developmental research. So in that sense I am pretty convinced there is a problem. Whether home education is the solution of course depends hugely on all kinds of factors including your personal resources (mentally, emotionally, physically and financially) as a family.
I’m still on a good few groups and mostly they are supportive of individual choices- it’s really common to be home educating one child and not another. So more parents than you may think do both.

Maybe for some, but it's still more choice than you have as a child.

I picked a job/career I knew I could cope with, looked at my earning potential and planned everything else around that because that's what was necessary for my MH needs. It means I don't earn much but I'm happy and no longer struggling to fit into a world that's not built for people with autism and other neuro-diversities.

Adults can also choose how to spend their free time, evenings and weekends and can adapt that to fit their needs whereas state schools are very much a "one size fits all approach".

Glad at least a few people mention parents home educating out of necessity rather than 'luxury'. OP your very narrow and judgemental view is surprising if you're a teacher! ...or maybe it's not, I swear some teachers must walk around with their eyes closed. You have no idea why people keep their kids at home. Yes maybe they're in a cult, or maybe school traumatised their children. Maybe they just don't want to hand their kids over to the education system and hope for the best! My kids are at school and I'm grateful for that, but if they needed to be at home, I would keep them at home. It wouldn't be a luxury, it would be really really hard. Just think before you post shit like this. A lot more people will see it than the 5 families or whatever that you are describing 🙄

Yes, this particular, not often-used spelling will definitely impact her ability to deliver the curriculum!

I think your premise absolutely lacks nuance op.

Many have mentioned Sen. I'm surprised as a teacher you haven't come across children you just couldn't provide for. I know I have, mainly just due to having thirty other children of different needs to consider at the same time.
My son is likely Sen. Not school age yet. But having seen the damage a school who can't provide to Sen can do I'm absolutely bricking it that if have to home school. I'm a qualified teacher and have a lot of 'specialist' friends I could call on later, but I think you'd have to have a good combination of confidence and knowledge to feel secure in your homeschool decision, and I lack the former. However, recognising the damage that can be done if a child is in the wrong environment I'd still absolutely do it. Same goes for bullying. There's a lot of research that shows that bullying can have long-term implications for esteem, trauma and brain development.
I also think that teaching itself is a skill that is acquired, not gained. Nqts with Qts are no way educated enough to teach, most of their craft I'd learned along the way and some teachers are arrogant so never learn this.
So by the same vein, they'll be some home schoolers who are so arrogant they never adapt their practice and they'll be some that become very skilled and adaptive.
Lastly op, if you work with children you must know every one is different and sadly one size does not fit all.

Oh and I'm vegan as well btw. Bash away.

Some people are forced to home school temporarily whilst they try to get a place in a setting that will accommodate their child’s complex needs. I know several families in this position and it was stressful for all concerned, not least because it is expensive to have only one parent in paid work.

I also know a couple of families who actively chose to home educate. I recognise elements of the OP and the hippy vibe with one. With the other, the family is very religious and they wanted to work Jesus into the entire curriculum.

I think this. They are probably trying to re-inforce their own decision making in moments of doubt.

I also think its very normal to bond with people who are in the same boat if you are outside of the norm. Its a common interest, like getting a group of harley davidson drivers together.

My experience of homeschool is through the sen world, where many of us are forced into it for a year or so whilst we wait for a school place or even permanently as no place exists. Generally pissed off about the whole thing, nut positive articles sort of reassure us.

Well it will if her lesson, like this post, is on clique's and cults.

Schools have to submit statistics on SEND pupils, too.

If the statistics were analysed properly, the results would take into account SEND.
Although I concede that this probably would not help the likely scenario of people quoting "headline statistics" as comparison.

However, I also don't think it's massively helpful to go around saying that home-ed has better outcomes when nobody has actually proved that in the UK to any great extent. Rothermel's study is quite old and the sample was self-selecting to a degree.

@DobbyHasASock 👏🏻❤️

Maybe they want their children to spell clique properly 😂

Agree. I think it’s a recipe for disaster - it’s all about what the parent wants, and it can be easy for vulnerable and abused children to then slip under the radar.

I have every sympathy for people doing it if their children have SEN needs that aren’t being met, or if their child is badly bullied etc and other schools aren’t working, but I don’t think you can provide a good quality education without being a qualified teacher or subject specialist.

I’d love to see the stats on how many home educated children get 9 good GCSEs, 3 top A Levels and who go on to good universities.

It would be very easy to do a study that was accurate. You would take kids from similar socioeconomic backgrounds, similar levels of educational attainment for the parents, you would correct for any SEN and you would give them the same test under the same conditions. The difficulty would be getting a large enough sample size. Similar studies have already been carried out in the US but the sample size is small.

parentingscience.com/homeschooling-outcomes/

Theh found a huge difference in outcomes for structured versus unstructured home schooling.

I think you're labouring the point a bit. Yes, school and work aren't exactly the same but most people work because they have to and would rather not be - having a choice between a few unenjoyable jobs doesn't change that.

Of course some people like their jobs, but then some people like school too.

*cliques

But any career may involve working with people who are vastly different to you.

Adults can also choose how to spend their free time, evenings and weekends and can adapt that to fit their needs whereas state schools are very much a "one size fits all approach". But don’t require attendance 24/7?

I’d love to see the stats on how many home educated children get 9 good GCSEs, 3 top A Levels and who go on to good universities.

How about stats on the mental health of home educated children v school educated? Suicide rates?? Or just good GCSEs...

An excellent example of how correcting grammar and spelling within a thread tends to make the correcting poster look like a bit of a berk.

Thank you.