I have outgrown men

[Namechanged007]

Before all the namalt brigade come along I'm well aware.

Thing is it's true I have outgrown the ridiculouness and childishness of men.

I'm married but even so I feel like I'd be better off alone most of the time. Nothing wrong with dh as such but I'm more able and stronger alone.

I have just been to the pub and all the women were complimentary of each other. Going with the flow. And enjoying themselves. The men were either grumpy or showing brovado. There was an incident on our table that involved new men intimidating each other and I just went home.

The thing is this isn't a table of young men. It's professionals and grown ups. I just cant be bothered with it.

None of the women got involved but it spoilt the night.

I told dh I don't have time for such pathetic behaviour.

It never ends. It doesn't matter how old or wise we become men seem to revert back to this strange behaviour.

I deal with it day in day out at my work and I simply can't be bothered. If I never had to see another man, mansplaining, dominating conversation, throwing their weight around, bravado, dick measuring, causing a scene in my life it would be too soon.

Absolutely done with it.

I think there's a bit of evidence that women who have been married, or in similar long relationships are happier on divorce. Women get more unhappy the longer they are married, in other words.

So having a long term (heterosexual) relationship does seem to put women off men, and they report being happier when they are single after they are out of marriage. Which is what a lot of posters here have said, in effect. Some of them are even saying it and they are still married....

I don't think its bad thing, because it suggests women are getting much choosier.

No shit Sherlock

People who want a divorce are happier post divorce

@LexMitior

But that's not what posters or the very limited research they're using to back themselves up on are saying

Of course miserable people who want a divorce will be happier post divorce

That's basic common sense

Just like people with leg cramp are happier once their cramp is gone

That doesn't however = women are happier without men

Well, it was just an example - nevertheless, in the context of the thread, it seems that women in marriages or LTR are having experiences that puts them off repeating it (and they had relationships before marriage so they aren't going this is a one off). And women initiate most divorces, and are more reluctant to remarry whereas men are keen.

I think that is not children, but domestics, social expectations which benefit men more. They get more out of it. It doesn't surprise me that as women get their own money, they are much choosier about men, to the point where they don't see the benefit. Women do better at building a social circle, living alone.

I think young men will also change - they will not have the expectations their fathers did, nor the same example. Living alone by men and women will grow, I think.

I'd have talked over him so he got the message but I am 50 and couldn't care less any more!! 😘

Considering childless men and women are happier than those with children the likely hood is, it's the children dragging the married women down in the studies.

It's amazing how hearsay can become accepted truth so easily when it fits with people's belief system. I've lost track of many times I've read the old trope on here of 'marriage makes men happier and women unhappier'.

To think it was never true and that even the studies used to supposedly demonstrate it actually indicate the very opposite. 😮

YANBU in the slightest OP.

What's more depressing is the crappy male behaviour transcends cultures and countries.

This. ^ I don't know where these surveys come from or who does them/who takes part in them, but the majority of single women I know (who have never been married/are permanently single) are some of the most miserable people I know.

Married MEN seem much happier than single men though, but then married women seem to be happier too. Yeah there are ups and downs and pitfalls to marriage, but I have been single AND married and would choose being married over single ANY day.

It's a lonely miserable existence being single (permanently, forever,) and never having had a long term relationship or marriage. The fact that millions of women (and men) are on dating sites desperately seeking a partner proves that. Some permanently single women on here claim they're extremely happy. I don't believe them. We humans are sociable creatures, and need companionship from other humans. Being permanently single/never in a relationship seems like a half life (IMO.)

There's a Smiths song in there somewhere!

😁

You make even less sense. "Surveys" show that women vote for male bosses! You really don't seem to understand how power structures work, or indeed how the world works, at all. Or how work works!

Nobody votes for male bosses.

I think you must have missed the seventies. Coming into existence now? As all they worked for is dismantled? Because of a couple of hashtags? Rubbish.

CBS Local — A survey by MSN found that both men and women prefer to work with men rather than women in the workplace. The survey is believed to be as accurate as a scientific poll. Nearly 500,000 people supplied answers.

MSN found that 20 percent of men and 21 percent of women preferred to work with men, compared to just 6 percent of each men and women preferring to work with women.

minnesota.cbslocal.com/2017/08/04/men-women-work-study/amp/

Women dislike having a female boss at work even more than men do, a new study has revealed.

Nearly 40 per cent of female workers in America would rather be led by a man, a Gallup survey found.

In contrast, just 26 per cent of men would prefer a male boss.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2797279/women-dislike-having-female-boss-workplace-men-study-finds.html

A study found two women are less likely to cooperate than two men when one is more powerful than the other.

Similarly, two females of different rank are less likely to work together than a man and a woman.

The finding contradicts the widely held belief that women’s nurturing nature makes it natural for them to help each other out, while men are too competitive to have time for each other.

Harvard University researcher Joyce Benenson, one of the study’s authors, said that women’s instinctive distrust of females in power may make it more difficult for them to scale the career ladder.

www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2572235/Women-HATE-office-Females-operate-better-male-bosses-study-finds.html

Well many on here aren't that bright so it's to be expected they will misunderstand the 'research they copy and paste

Plus it validates their opinions so why would they?

Some women are yes

Others are not

When looking at long term relationships outside of marriage women aren't less happy compared to their single counterparts

The 'research' posters on here are pinning their hats to has long been criticized, as of course people who want a divorce will be happier once divorced.

Age also plays a role, there is a bell curve with happiness in general based on age, with women being the least happy in their 40-50's (might explain why so many of the menopause brigade are on here being miserable)

All I'm saying is the research people are using to back up that single women are happier than married ones is bullshit, many other studies show the opposite in different forms. And children seem to be the biggest factor in both that piece of research (as all the married women had children) and other forms of research looking at both men and women.

Sorry to hear.

I do wonder how much this factors into things. When I was younger, I lost count of the number of male/female friends who said this after a number of painful breakups. It's understandable as breaking up can be hugely traumatic.

Every new relationship was approached with increasing caution and skepticism, to the point where they'd be broken and unable to function in a normal relationship.

I had an ex like this, who ended things as soon as things got serious. It bloody broke my heart but she was afraid of falling in love for fear of being hurt again. I found out through social circles that she was a serial dater. Quite sad really.

DaughterofBrum · Yesterday 17:14

Dillonpantherstexas, it's weird and a bit disturbing that you read a comment about sexual partners as applying to sons

Nothing 'weird' or 'disturbing' at all pointing out the fact that if UnboxedThoughts does indeed have a son via sperm donation she will at some point as he matures into adulthood be briefing other women his age against having any kind of relationship with him. I imagine it will also be fairly hard for her to shield him from her own self confessed 'extreme' views on men while raising him which I cant imagine will do much for his confidence or self esteem. "Go to your room and play with your lego UnboxedThoughts junior while mummy and her friends discus what useless leeches men are over a bottle of wine"

Or is this one of those frequent mumsnet scenarios where a poster insists that the immediate men in their lives (husbands, sons, brothers etc) are the 'good ones' and it is just all the other men that are the problem?

Mine are. Apart from my DS who is a work in progress and hope will be better with effort from his mum to mitigate his father's poor influence.

I suspect what they're trying to say is it doesn't matter how nice your son is he'll still simply be seen as a potential abuser/rapist etc by other women as that seems to be the default view.

How old are you @DaughterofBrum can I ask?

I think there's a bit of evidence that women who have been married, or in similar long relationships are happier on divorce. Women get more unhappy the longer they are married, in other words.

People whose marriages break down so badly they get divorced are happier upon getting divorced? Yeah, I can believe that.

If we're playing "I read a study I'm not going to cite" game then: I read a study that suggested people who have children are unhappier while those children are still children, and then become happier than they would have been when those children are adults.

Who knows if it's true but it's easy enough to believe.

(might explain why so many of the menopause brigade are on here being miserable)

Nice. Proper classy comment.

Accurate though

40-50 are the most unhappy years for women

So might explain why those saying they're menopausal are anti men and don't care anymore

As they will most likely be in this age bracket

I have been loving rewatching "mum" on iplayer and the gently kindling romance between Cathy and Michael out of a lifelong friendship. I would consider remarrying in later life if it resembled that.