I have outgrown men

[Namechanged007]

Before all the namalt brigade come along I'm well aware.

Thing is it's true I have outgrown the ridiculouness and childishness of men.

I'm married but even so I feel like I'd be better off alone most of the time. Nothing wrong with dh as such but I'm more able and stronger alone.

I have just been to the pub and all the women were complimentary of each other. Going with the flow. And enjoying themselves. The men were either grumpy or showing brovado. There was an incident on our table that involved new men intimidating each other and I just went home.

The thing is this isn't a table of young men. It's professionals and grown ups. I just cant be bothered with it.

None of the women got involved but it spoilt the night.

I told dh I don't have time for such pathetic behaviour.

It never ends. It doesn't matter how old or wise we become men seem to revert back to this strange behaviour.

I deal with it day in day out at my work and I simply can't be bothered. If I never had to see another man, mansplaining, dominating conversation, throwing their weight around, bravado, dick measuring, causing a scene in my life it would be too soon.

Absolutely done with it.

Jesus Christ, you're just as bad!

@Idunnowhyibother

Apologies meant to tag @ideasmirrour

🙂

Why would these men be hurt and horrified? If they're confident they're not in any way like the men described they surely wouldn't apply it to themselves? I can't believe they haven't met the sort of men who give other men a bad name though. Surely as kind, decent intelligent men their horror would be directed at the other men, not at the way women are discussing their behaviour?

Thats how I feel too.

Almost everyday I get almost run over by a male on an electric scooter or bike on the pavement just to mention one thing that drives me mad.

I have a small number of lovely men in my life including my DP who's the very opposite of toxic masculinity. However there just seems no escaping the innate selfishness that seems hard wired, and I definitely don't think he's as great as I did when we first got together.

However, bloody hell, men as a class. Looking around at the problems the world is facing today, are there any of them which haven't been caused by dick swinging, alpha fucking male behaviour? And I include climate chaos in that.

Surely as kind, decent intelligent men their horror would be directed at the other men, not at the way women are discussing their behaviour?

You'd think so wouldn't you? However the small number of men I have attempted to have this conversation with have immediately become defensive and extra twattish. They won't accept anything which seems blatantly obvious to many women e.g. when presented with the fact that male aggression has started nearly all the wars in history, it'll be an indignant "But Thatcher!" and an outpouring of facts (i.e. their opinion) designed to shut down the conversation and show me I am wrong. Opinions presented as factual statements - and this applies to everything they say about politics. They are not interested in anyone else's opinions at all, and have no idea how to hold an actual two way conversation.

So fucking tedious.

I am staying single as haven't the energy to deal with a man or the crap, am less tolerant now and more wise as in peri-meno. Am more relaxed in myself when single. But there are equally as many women the same and if you look at them nearly bite the head off of ya, I really think people have got far more aggressive and stupid. I used to think my lovely mum (rip) was cynical but no she had experience and should have listened to her. Hope I made sense. Men are lovely once you agree with them and play by their rules but many do not like a strong woman who is confident and that is when they try to break you down.

I don't like big groups of women either and prefer meet pals one on one.

Without sounding smug, my DH is a wonderful man, he is a considerate, devoted partner and brings out the best in me too. If anything happened to him, I can't imagine any man could live up to his standards and as they get older, they get more grumpy and snore. Also, I don't expect my children to accept a step father in their lives who they didn't choose and who couldn't be a patch on their dad. I think I would opt for single or nun.

as they get older, they get more grumpy and snore

My DP has just done himself an injury in the sport he plays, and has "warned" me this will make him grumpy for a while. I would sympathise, except I also have had an injury this summer from the same sport and I haven't been able to play - it's been pretty painful and limiting, but I don't remember warning the people I'm supposed to love that I will be grumpy. I just assumed it was my problem to deal with.

And yes he occasionally snores but then so do I

I was watching something on TV today about increasing tension between China and US. Then throw Russia in, and l said to Dh, ‘l just cannot be bothered with all this willy waving’

And l can’t. I don’t particularly like the male species tbh, never been a huge armoured, much prefer women.

Although my ds 28 is lovely and not at all a willy waver. Just a kind, caring sweet natured man. I don’t understand why he’s not like that.l credit myself as his df cleared off when he was 18 months old.

YANBU

I will never entangle my life with another man again. I am 100% better on my own.

Yet strangely you all want to marry them, have sex with them and have kids with them.

Hmmm sex good.

Maybe there is something in the peri-meno thing, in terms of running out of tolerance for their bullshit, but I think it's something else too. I think as we get more decades under out belt, the differential opens up wider and wider as to what sort of people we have become because of how we have spent our time. I have spent my life trying really hard to get better at certain technical things, bringing up my children to have good relationships with friends and family and workmates, and on interesting arts that are complex and rewarding. I have spent literally 5 decades on all that and if I was still completely boring, lazy, selfish, unsubtle, bad with people and bad at my art, then it would be very surprising after all this time of putting that effort in. (Obviously I want to better! I am still learning and still trying). All my women friends are broadly the same, with different sets of pursuits but they all have a lot to say and interesting way of facing outwards to the people around them. The men - well they just haven't had to try. Society accepts and rewards men for simply existing. So, so many of don't work at family / friendship relationships as women do because they don't think about them, or think about the complexity of what makes people connect, or be happy, or sad. On the other hand, the thing they do get rewarded for, and they feel they have to work at, is dominance. which is REALLY BORING. but it is the only thing they are good at because it is the only thing they have cared about.

Expecting 50 year old men to be as interesting in the way 50 year old women are, is like suddenly expecting a sophisticated speaker of German to be able to speak Russian and being surprised that they don't. it takes a lifetime to get this good.

Interesting post 👍

Except this thread doesn't have threats and celebrations of violence against the opposite sex. They aren't wishing them dead, or forcing sex and birth on them. They don't want to completely own men, as in the right to practically keep them in cages. Women aren't going around killing men and other people because they resent them having families, as we've seen incels do. The last one in the UK shot a father and his toddler. The toddler because she was female and him because he 'had it all'. Misandry isn't causing thousands of deaths, in the way that misogyny does. It isn't causing rapes, sexual assaults and violence, not only against women but children as well.
As for linking crime with feeding families. The county line dealers, those moving guns, shooting children etc have no such noble cause, the only thing that they have in common is being male. I've never heard of a woman speeding, mounting pavements then stepping over dying children to run away. But there's been quite a few over the summer holidays.

I totally disagree, I like lots of men, and there are lots of women I think are shits.

I also like plenty of women, and there are plenty of men who are shits.

Possibly the shitty ones tend to differ, overall, in how they express their shittieness, but I don't know that I would say that is a strong trend.

I do think that is a man wrote the OP in reverse he'd be eviscerated and branded a misogynist.

YANBU. I'm very happy with DH but he's fully aware that should anything happen to him, I wouldn't bother with another one. My social circle consists of mainly radfem, terven 🧙, 60% of whom are lesbians - and I often fantasise about living on my own.
I'm sexually attracted to men but there are very few that warrant a second glance and it seems that so many men in their mid forties and above are afflicted with digestive issues, mental health issues or erectile dysfunction!

Hmmm sex good.

^^
🤣

Spot on

Men need women more than women need men, but it's the supreme trick of the patriarchy to convince women of the opposite.

It's all borne out in the health stats - men do better when married than women do.

I hope women will come to realise that life without men (romantically) is better.

And I speak as a woman who has mainly male friends. I take every man on a case-by-case basis.

Cool story, bro.

Im happily single but I have quite a few close platonic male friends who are lovely. The issues with the men you are talking about is presumably because they aren’t your friends rather your friends partners.

I think both men and women have their irritating traits.
Listening to a man when you first meet him will tell you a lot. And keep on watching and listening thereafter.
Men still approach me, although I am middle-aged. I find a lot of them would prefer me to be a smaller character than I am.
I therefore am sceptical of romantic relationships with them. It hasn't been up to much so far.