I have outgrown men

[Namechanged007]

Before all the namalt brigade come along I'm well aware.

Thing is it's true I have outgrown the ridiculouness and childishness of men.

I'm married but even so I feel like I'd be better off alone most of the time. Nothing wrong with dh as such but I'm more able and stronger alone.

I have just been to the pub and all the women were complimentary of each other. Going with the flow. And enjoying themselves. The men were either grumpy or showing brovado. There was an incident on our table that involved new men intimidating each other and I just went home.

The thing is this isn't a table of young men. It's professionals and grown ups. I just cant be bothered with it.

None of the women got involved but it spoilt the night.

I told dh I don't have time for such pathetic behaviour.

It never ends. It doesn't matter how old or wise we become men seem to revert back to this strange behaviour.

I deal with it day in day out at my work and I simply can't be bothered. If I never had to see another man, mansplaining, dominating conversation, throwing their weight around, bravado, dick measuring, causing a scene in my life it would be too soon.

Absolutely done with it.

Ah, it’s funny that name calling, making up offensive accusations, and generalised apologies for male violence are all okay, but calling them out is “patronising” 😂

You can’t get the cool girls running fast enough on MN when there’s a chance to defend men and call other women “vile”.

The one group feminists hate more than men is women who commit the crime of disagreeing with them.

No wonder feminism is losing.

MN feminists seem to be like this

Thankfully feminist groups IRL aren't nearly as batshit

''@neshtasticGoodness me. I hate the man-hating trend, so tiresome.
Some men are arseholes, some women are arseholes. That's it.''

If only it was that simple.

If we lived in an equal society and did not have patriarchal religions and a history where women were considered the property of men for centuries (and still are in many countries...) you might have a point.

Unfortunately we still live in a world built by men for men. A world where domestic violence and sexual assault/rape against women and girls are still common place and where we have a ridiculously low conviction rate for these crimes. A society where porn showing violent and degrading acts towards women is consumed daily by men. A world where women are expected to bend over backwards to do all the caring, child-rearing and keep relationships going.

As long as that imbalance continues you will have women who as shown in this thread will find that they are better off alone than having to put up with male entitlement at best and at worst male violence.

I say that as someone who had a violent and misogynist father, who was bullied and assaulted by a boy at school and who as an adult was assaulted by a man who pretended to be a friend for years. My story is not uncommon. Women and girls go through this type of crap every day...

There are plenty of women who are arseholes but they are rarely violent, abusive predators.

If think we also do men no favours by suggesting that toxic masculinity does not exist. Because to improve things and find solution you need to be willing to accept that there is a problem in the first place.

I've never seen such misandry all in one place. Like the mirror image of what an Incel forum must be like.

ROFL - misandry? A load of middle aged women saying that they don't think they'll bother with relationships with blokes any more/if anything should happen to their current one.

If only misogyny was so mild!

Are you actively choosing to ignore the posts such as

'All men are shits'

'Yeah men are twats'

Of course they are, to support their denial of misandry, they cherry picked the most mild, least offensive comment of all.

There's nothing at all wrong with anyone just wanting to be and stay single.

The tone of a lot of the comments though are extremely hateful.

You literally wrote several posts from early on in the thread defending male behaviour, misrepresented something I wrote several times in order to imply I was a racist, called me vile and now called me “a joke of a human being”, ironically for saying you were resorting to name-calling.

I think we can all see what kind of a person you are and make our own judgments about the validity of your arguments.

@ideasmirrour

Where did I defend male behaviour

I merely pointed out you were wrong in your assertion no woman ever has oppressed anyone.

Saying that's not true isn't defending men

This, in spades and times 1000.

I could weep for the times in my teens and twenties that I spent - no, wasted - trying to gain the approval of men. What a pointless waste of time and talent.

I totally agree OP.

I’m heterosexual and in a mostly OK relationship with a kind and loving man…

But I think all the time that my life could be so much better and fulfilling if I simply eliminated all the (heterosexual) men.

Even the very best of them are limited, dull and beyond a certain point too dependent for words.

A significant chunk of them are misogynistic, lazy, superior, selfish and arrogant. Even if they stop short of violence many of them are capable. Even the progressive ones have an automatic sense of entitlement and superiority which frequently takes my breath away.

And mostly they aren’t very good. They are less intelligent, less open to new ideas, have less stamina. I have yet to meet a man who works half as hard as me and I have never had a relationship with a man who was my intellectual equal. Nor one who out-earns me but isn’t a complete cunt.

I have got to a point where I take from them what I need (sex and companionship mostly) but I will be damned if I ever centre my life around one or share a home with one again.

It is what it is and I have made peace with it.

Oh, yeah. You’re so right! Saying men are often bad-tempered mansplainers who don’t bother much to be nice to women they don’t consider fuckable, is JUST like those forums where they talk about raping, beating and violently sexually assaulting women just for the temerity of not having sex with them. It’s totally just the same, you’re totally right.

Oh wait, no, that’s actually offensively stupid hyperbole to equate the two.

Please do find and quote wherever I apparently wrote “no woman has ever oppressed anyone”, and I’ll give you a little medal, because you’re quite literally making up (yet again) something I did not write.

I'll give you a little medal

Are you sure you're not patronising?

My DH is a taxi driver in Dublin, he tells me that quite a lot of UK male weekenders comment that Irish girls don't take any of their crap ,as a previous poster said, it genuinely isn't common for Irish men to behave like this. not saying they're all angels but is the exception rather than norm.

@ideasmirrour

Quote from your post

'LOL I must have missed those millennia where women were going round oppressing the poor men'

I'll look forward to the medal in the post

LOL I think you do clearly need comprehension lessons because those two statements are not remotely the same.

And all the posts calling men "absolute dickheads' and all the quoted posts vehemently agreeing.

It's okay to call it out for what that is - man-hating misandry. Just as it's okay to call out woman-hating misogyny.

@ideasmirrour

And as I've stated before

Women have oppressed men

White women oppressed black men for centuries in fact

But nah, you can pretend that didn't happen

Ah, you see, in response to being called vile and a poor excuse for a human being, being a little bit patronising is a pretty restrained and rather gracious response, I think. What were you expecting? “Oh yes you are right I am vile, you got me bang to rights, guvnor”?

Back to the thread topic and in response to an earlier poster about the student Union president, one of the reasons I have lost trust in men is that I have known a fair few who everyone thought were just pillars of the community who turned out to be very nasty underneath (including a man who the local community thought of as a wonderful religious and ethical figure, who later ended up with a prison conviction for child pornographers offences; and one of the ones who I would have sworn was a great guy, a gentle feminist man I knew who later on turned out up be a prolific users of prostitutes and got a conviction for assaulting one).

I know of “nice men” who it turns out later hit their wives, have had affairs, run up debts, all sorts. And I’ve met many women who are rude, gossipy, mean and have all sorts of minor character flaws or whatever, but not many who turn out to be violent abusers, addicted to porn or committed sexual offences.

And the older you get the more other women let on to you that their apparently lovely quiet husband is abusive behind closed doors — and it isn’t just older men either.

Don't hate men particularly but really don't see the point in them apart the odd nice fuck. They certainly don't add anything to my life, career, plans or dreams for the future...

Don't hate women particularly but really don't see the point in them apart the odd nice fuck. They certainly don't add anything to my life, career, plans or dreams for the future...