DH has no time for our dog

[PokeInTheBum]

A few years ago DH said he wanted a dog, a German shepherd. I said no as I didn’t want the hair or a large animal to have to look after. He kept on about wanting a dog and assured me that he’d be 100% responsible for it. I said if he was that desperate for a dog he could get a little one like a French bulldog. He reluctantly agreed and we got a frenchie puppy. At first he adored him and was with him all the time. He took him to a basic obedience 6 week course and would come home frustrated saying the dog wouldn’t do anything and he was a laughing stock at the class. He was working on stuff with him inbetween classes (daily) but would always come back furious from the class saying it was pointless. I started going with him for support but to be fair it was embarrassing, ours was the only dog that wasn’t progressing and we couldn’t get him to do anything other than “sit” and even that was only 50/50. Didn’t help that the instructor made jokes about it and drew everyone’s attention to it. At the end of the course everyone was presented with their certificates whilst we were “gently told” to book onto a repeat course.

DH decided against it and whilst he continued walking the dog etc it was obvious that he was losing interest. We couldn’t get him house trained, he was incredibly destructive and wrecked everything in sight. We had a behaviourist in as well as a trainer but neither have been any help.

Then 3 years ago DH told me he needed a proper dog and was buying a German shepherd puppy. I agreed because I saw how much it was getting him down not having this dog. He was going to all sorts of shows, displays and meet ups etc for 2 years prior.

we got the German shepherd. DH finally has the dog he wanted. It excelled at the basic obedience class and then went on to pass the advanced obedience class and all the kennel club awards. DH’s office is full of certificates and rosettes from him activities with the dog and to be fair he does 100% of the work with her.

Trouble is his tolerance for the frenchie is now rock bottom, he gets annoyed just hearing him wander around the house. He refuses to clean up its piss and shit saying he’s not “doing it anymore” with a 6 year old dog. To be honest I think he actively dislikes the dog.

I have taken on responsibility of the frenchie but the way DH makes it so obvious he doesn’t want him around upsets me. He’ll literally make the frenchie move off the sofa so the German shepherd can sit there.

We ended up arguing about it last night and he said it’s my fault as I pressured him to get a dog he didn’t want and if I’d just agreed to the shepherd in the first place none of this would have happened.

So, is it all my fault??

i dont think throwing treats is very nice, nor very sensble with two dogs in the room

You’ve never tossed a treat to your dog to catch? It’s unkind?

jesus wept

Just re home the Frenchie. Your house will be cleaner and you'll both be less stressed.

If it’s so rare, then you know he is very unlikely to catch it, yet you still Chuck a treat at it and laugh we he, as you fully expect, misses it.

I let the frenchie out every 2 hours for a wee. I’ve sat with him in the garden for half an hour and eventually brought him in just for him to wander off and piss up the wall.

Whenever he does wee or poo outside I obviously treat him for doing so but he’ll still go off and shit in the house 5 minutes later.

Believe me I have tried EVERYTHING. I’m the one cleaning it up so obviously it’s in my interest to train him. I’ve had dogs before and have always managed to housetrain them as puppies, with this one I just can’t get through to him.

Who was the one who chose a Frenchie as the small dog breed? A mini poodle or a papillion might have had a chance in this situation.

This.

bit harsh,
jesus wept yourself

I can’t get past the idea that DH wanted a German Shepard so you got a French bulldog instead!
They are nothing like each other!

I can see why DH would have resentment for the Frenchie and I think it was a massive mistake getting it in the first place.

I have a massive bull breed dog who (although annoyingly big) she is perfect in every way.
My family member became ill and she asked me to look after her little chihuahua because she trusted me. I resented him for a long time because he would was a bully towards my dog, he wasn’t trained, would wee and poo everywhere and I never wanted him in my house.

But I never treated him differently and I love him in a completely different way.
My big dog is amazing because you can teach her to do a trick in a few minutes, whilst he’ll just stare blankly at you and then do something completely different which is hilarious.

I really hate that your DH obviously favours the second dog more than the first one.

Apart from telling him to stop it then I can only think that you need to increase your bond with the Frenchie.

If you can afford it then I’d be getting a good trainer/behaviourist without DH knowing and teaching him new tricks which DH couldn’t do 😁

Fair enough. No point replacing it if the Frenchie will continue to urinate on it.

@PokeInTheBum

It’s good that your husband puts the effort into the GSD, as many owners don’t.

I have zero experience of Frenchies, but they aren’t really comparable to a GSD
GSD’s are easy to train, Toy type breeds are known to be hard to housetrain.
Italian Greyhounds are very bad as well in this regard.

You need to take total responsibility for the Frenchie- Have you tried going back to basics with his house training?

Your husband is out of order to be unkind to the Frenchie, and to “Bully” him.

Toy dogs are not easy to train
not sure why, it can’t be “ Brain size” as Corvids are incredibly intelligent.

I’m aware of this. But all these years later, I think the chances of that are slim.

The question is, was this even a good breeder. OP came away with a dog and little to no information about it, despite no prior experience with the breed.

Sounds like a bad breeder to me. Worth a try though, although how sad for this little dog.

Yes, I do think you hold most of the blame here. You pushed for a breed of dog that is hard to train and ended up with an untrained (unhousetrained?) dog.

Are they house trainable - yes, sounds like she/he needed more consistency though and it is certainly harder work than a more trainable dog. Are they obedience trainable like the Shepherd - few and far between frenchies show up in obedience rings.

Your DH shouldn't be so open with his dislike of the dog but I think you need to accept that you didn't actually research what breed of dog could give you what you wanted, chose one you thought you liked and pushed him in to it.

I had a jack Russel like this. He was incredibly dim. Nothing stuck.

I could be outside for hours with him and he would still come in and wee all over the floor.

Ended up just making sure I cleaned up after him every time

probably better not to have the german shepherd on the sofa, and definately not a good idea to make the frenchie the bad guy here, no reason to cause resentment

Why did you get another dog when your first dog is getting such treatment? Your DH sounds awful. Imagine neglecting a dog in your care? And then getting another? Dogs are there to just ignore when they don’t do what you want. They’re a commitment. A life long one.

I’s rehome the dog for its own benefit. And don’t get any more dogs ffs.

What a bizarre situation OP. Your DP sounds like little more than a petulant kid who has to get his own way constantly or make others suffer. Imaging being so desperate to feel in control of something you need an animal to do tricks and training for you to prop up your ego and get you through the day, or your wife to do whatever you say and never ask you to do anything or there'll be a tantrum. I'm embarrassed for him really, it all sounds tragic and he's selfish. Says a lot that you'd like the floor replaced but he doesn't really care about that.

Wearing a belt that caused to poor dog to have a skin infection didn't happen overnight and is a disgrace. You're both responsible for the dog.

Personally I'd leave the DP to his ideal romance with his obedient German shepherd, take the frenchie that is lovely with my kids, replace my own floor and get on with it but each to their own. Presumably he'll give you all the cold shoulder until you do what he wants and arrange to get rid of his other dog for him and life is exactly as he wants it...

I have a relative with a very young Frenchie. I mean ok he’s not the brightest but he’s pretty well trained. House trained, sit, lie down etc. but he can also do some tricks. He can catch treats in his mouth etc.

I actually didn’t know frenchies had any such reputation for being hard to train.

Also, you need to engage a decent dog trainer. Look up Nigel ‘The Dog Guardian’. I don’t believe any dog is untrainable, you just need to find the right method that works for your dog. It takes time, a lot of time and patience.

I would also find the idea of anyone being “obsessed” with a dog to that extent, a major turn off.

Its noones fault.

In a way I do see your DH point of view in that I do love to do things with my dogs and have active dogs for that reason. We compete in several disciplines. We love training and competing together.

I would not get or want a dog that does not have the energy or drive to do these things.

Equally though if I did have a dog already then it would still be loved and cared for but would not be my number one choice.

I think the kindest thing you could do would be to re-home the Frenchie, to someone who will give it the home and love it deserves.

When you take on an animal, it is your responsibility to give it the best life it could possibly have.

The dog will have picked up on your husband's disappointment with it and I can't imagine it is very happy. Animals have acute senses and an almost telepathic sense of what humans are thinking.

I would also think about re-homing your husband.

Does the Frenchie have neurological issues? It’s ruining your house, I can understand your Dh being pissed off. I was worried when one of mine wasn’t properly housetrained at 5 months!

I’m definitely more bonded with one of our 2 puppies, but he decided that, not me. I look after and give attention to both.

How are you coping with the constant mess? It would drive me nuts.

Of your Frenchie is 6 years old it probably only has another year to live. Try to make its final year happy OP. Also when you take it out to toilet don't bring it back in until it does its business. Then reward it with a treat, not thrown at its head, but kindly given out your hand and fuss it. Only take it indoors once it has toilet outside. When my dog was a puppy I often had to stay put for an hour with her until she wee. Then I made a big fuss of her and gave her a treat. If you take dog back in before done business it will be confused.

I think you need to take responsibility for much of this.

Your DH wanted a German shepherd so he could train and work with a dog and gain satisfaction from a working relationship. Bulldogs are almost the complete opposite of what would be required here.

Going forward either you take on the frenchie and treat it as yours, get a trainer who specialises in bulldogs or rehome it.

Your dh has moved on and is enjoying his German shepherd.