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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH has no time for our dog

379 replies

PokeInTheBum · 28/08/2022 09:39

A few years ago DH said he wanted a dog, a German shepherd. I said no as I didn’t want the hair or a large animal to have to look after. He kept on about wanting a dog and assured me that he’d be 100% responsible for it. I said if he was that desperate for a dog he could get a little one like a French bulldog. He reluctantly agreed and we got a frenchie puppy. At first he adored him and was with him all the time. He took him to a basic obedience 6 week course and would come home frustrated saying the dog wouldn’t do anything and he was a laughing stock at the class. He was working on stuff with him inbetween classes (daily) but would always come back furious from the class saying it was pointless. I started going with him for support but to be fair it was embarrassing, ours was the only dog that wasn’t progressing and we couldn’t get him to do anything other than “sit” and even that was only 50/50. Didn’t help that the instructor made jokes about it and drew everyone’s attention to it. At the end of the course everyone was presented with their certificates whilst we were “gently told” to book onto a repeat course.

DH decided against it and whilst he continued walking the dog etc it was obvious that he was losing interest. We couldn’t get him house trained, he was incredibly destructive and wrecked everything in sight. We had a behaviourist in as well as a trainer but neither have been any help.

Then 3 years ago DH told me he needed a proper dog and was buying a German shepherd puppy. I agreed because I saw how much it was getting him down not having this dog. He was going to all sorts of shows, displays and meet ups etc for 2 years prior.

we got the German shepherd. DH finally has the dog he wanted. It excelled at the basic obedience class and then went on to pass the advanced obedience class and all the kennel club awards. DH’s office is full of certificates and rosettes from him activities with the dog and to be fair he does 100% of the work with her.

Trouble is his tolerance for the frenchie is now rock bottom, he gets annoyed just hearing him wander around the house. He refuses to clean up its piss and shit saying he’s not “doing it anymore” with a 6 year old dog. To be honest I think he actively dislikes the dog.

I have taken on responsibility of the frenchie but the way DH makes it so obvious he doesn’t want him around upsets me. He’ll literally make the frenchie move off the sofa so the German shepherd can sit there.

We ended up arguing about it last night and he said it’s my fault as I pressured him to get a dog he didn’t want and if I’d just agreed to the shepherd in the first place none of this would have happened.

So, is it all my fault??

OP posts:
Floofboopsnootandbork · 29/08/2022 04:07

I think you’re all to blame tbh, including that awful trainer.

I was desperate for another dog after our family golden retriever passed away when I was only 6. I begged and begged for years, often very dramaticly with tears streaming down my face I wanted one so badly 😂, and always got told no. When I was 14 my mum said we could get a puppy, I couldn’t have the golden retriever I wanted but we’d look at some other breeds and decide what was suitable. I said no as I didn’t just want any dog, I wanted a golden retriever. If I was capable of doing that as an autistic animal loving desperate for a dog teenager why couldn’t your husband do that as an adult?

Im glad the German Shepard worked out for your husband but my heart hurts for the poor frenchie. I know it’s easier said than done but maybe he’d be better off in another home with people who can actually care for him properly.

StClare101 · 29/08/2022 04:25

Who on earth is going to want to take on a six year old, incontinent frenchie?

I think you are stuck with him, OP, and just need to realise you’ve purchased a dog who is incredibly stupid from a breed not known for its intelligence or trainability.

susan12345678 · 29/08/2022 07:50

I think it was a mistake to make DH compromise on the type of dog, to begin with, but his callousness towards the little Frenchie (or any animal) would be troubling to me.

Christonabike37 · 29/08/2022 08:15

Honestly I think you should rehome the frenchie into the frenchie loving community. Yes you love him and look after him, but no one should live with a person who hates them, its not fair.

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