DH has no time for our dog

[PokeInTheBum]

A few years ago DH said he wanted a dog, a German shepherd. I said no as I didn’t want the hair or a large animal to have to look after. He kept on about wanting a dog and assured me that he’d be 100% responsible for it. I said if he was that desperate for a dog he could get a little one like a French bulldog. He reluctantly agreed and we got a frenchie puppy. At first he adored him and was with him all the time. He took him to a basic obedience 6 week course and would come home frustrated saying the dog wouldn’t do anything and he was a laughing stock at the class. He was working on stuff with him inbetween classes (daily) but would always come back furious from the class saying it was pointless. I started going with him for support but to be fair it was embarrassing, ours was the only dog that wasn’t progressing and we couldn’t get him to do anything other than “sit” and even that was only 50/50. Didn’t help that the instructor made jokes about it and drew everyone’s attention to it. At the end of the course everyone was presented with their certificates whilst we were “gently told” to book onto a repeat course.

DH decided against it and whilst he continued walking the dog etc it was obvious that he was losing interest. We couldn’t get him house trained, he was incredibly destructive and wrecked everything in sight. We had a behaviourist in as well as a trainer but neither have been any help.

Then 3 years ago DH told me he needed a proper dog and was buying a German shepherd puppy. I agreed because I saw how much it was getting him down not having this dog. He was going to all sorts of shows, displays and meet ups etc for 2 years prior.

we got the German shepherd. DH finally has the dog he wanted. It excelled at the basic obedience class and then went on to pass the advanced obedience class and all the kennel club awards. DH’s office is full of certificates and rosettes from him activities with the dog and to be fair he does 100% of the work with her.

Trouble is his tolerance for the frenchie is now rock bottom, he gets annoyed just hearing him wander around the house. He refuses to clean up its piss and shit saying he’s not “doing it anymore” with a 6 year old dog. To be honest I think he actively dislikes the dog.

I have taken on responsibility of the frenchie but the way DH makes it so obvious he doesn’t want him around upsets me. He’ll literally make the frenchie move off the sofa so the German shepherd can sit there.

We ended up arguing about it last night and he said it’s my fault as I pressured him to get a dog he didn’t want and if I’d just agreed to the shepherd in the first place none of this would have happened.

So, is it all my fault??

And what makes you think this dog came from a good breeder?

@giveovernate what makes you challenge people without reading the rest of their conversation?

So where does the dog go?

Why not?

I don't understand what your talking about? I'm not reading all your comments, I've neither the time nor the inclination. If you've got something to ask me don't be so cryptic?

OP just an idea.. have you tried the Frenchie forums on Facebook or frenchie groups and asked for advice? Only we have a English bulldog and any problems we have had in the past we ask on there and get some fab tips from others who have been through these things!
Also just to say you need sit ur husband down and tell him to stop it's horrible and it's not the dogs fault! He's being a prick tbh!

Sorry but your DH sounds like a real bellend! It's not the poor dogs fault that he hasn't turned out to be the show pony your DH thought he would be, I feel sorry for it and would definitely not have got a second dog given his poor treatment and dismissiveness of the first!

DH’ had his rosettes pinned on the wall ……like a teenaged girl from a Jilly Cooper novel

To answer your question, yes I think it’s your fault -sorry.
I also think your DH is very mean.

Is the dog deaf? Surely he should not be toileting in the house- but I guess you’ve tried everything by now.

I’m glad you love the Frenchie OP.

Don’t they live to be around 11 years at least…

@giveovernate don't ask me questions if you're not going to bother reading what I've already said

But what does make you think the dog came from a reputable breeder?

Frankly, if you've done everything feasible and the FB is still peeing and crapping everywhere, it's probably time to considering having it PTS. It's just not OK or acceptable to have that in your house. Two dogs (one of them quite big) in a house, AND dog pee/dog mess all over the place.... pooh, your home must be getting really smelly!

I have a frenchie and he is a dream , he was house trained really quickly . It sounds like he is either stressed or hasn't been trained properly.

For his sake give him to a frenchie rescue and they'll rehome him .

Responsible breeder. No such thing

It shits in the house? it would be gone from my home. pets are supposed to enhance your life.

However. You went for a frenchie? why? fashoinable? cute? notoriously hard to train plus health issues.

Rehome it. Take it to a shelter or whatever it is you do in UK and learn from this.

Well if the frenchie is not housetrained at 6 years old then i dont blame your husband

There are the occasional people whom I would term “ Responsible “ ( Have never bred any animals myself)
They tend to be of specific breeds and maybe have one litter every 5 years to “ Keep their line going”
They keep one, and sell the others to people known to them or recommend to them-
With the proviso they will always take a dog back at any age.

They also health- test the mother and sire.
They never advertise, as don’t need to.

Sadly there are way too many people who see their female as a money box, and breed without a care, often in appalling conditions.

I’ve had “ Rescue “ dogs and lovingly reared dogs- the well reared ones have had a flying start as to confidence and health-
The Rescues take a lot more work to fully settle , but absolutely worth it.

That is a good point about him possibly being deaf.
Frenchies are woefully badly bred as were “ Fashionable “ especially for certain colours ( more money for certain coat colours)
It wouldn’t be surprising if he was congenitally deaf .
He really shouldn’t be soiling indoors at all, and he sounds like he was used to filth early on, as he sleeps in a pooey bed.
Terrible breeder by the sound of it.

Quite frankly I'd ditch DH n keep the dogs

How did you house train the Frenchie????

Poor little Frenchie sounds so stressed! No wonder he has difficulties when he's clearly picking up on how unwanted he is by one of the most important people in his world.

If your husband considers himself a dog-lover, he should be able to take some responsibility for a distressed and vulnerable canine member of the 'pack'. Even if he doesn't 'like' Frenchie, he has a responsibility to him.

It's not reasonable to have the same expectations of a Frenchie and a GS with regards intelligence and skills. However, I'd think it's unusual for a 6 year old dog to have learned nothing except the occasional 'sit' - it might be worth getting a new dog behaviourist to assess Frenchie? A vet's assessment might also be helpful as the urinary issues could be due to something underlying, as well as stress, and it could be that a sensory issue might impact upon training (eg a dog with poor hearing isn't going to reliably hear commands).

Seriously? There are entire YouTube channels dedicated to cute dippy dogs that can't catch. They're hilarious and adorable.

Mine can't catch. We don't yell at him or get cross, we laugh along. We must be monsters... 🙄

Yes, but she still has to put up with the dogs in the bloody house!

If one partner doesn't want a dog, don't get one. My husband wanted a dog, many years ago. I made it clear that that wouldn't be happening. I am capable of being moderately fond of other people's dogs, but I don't want them in any house that I'm living in, regardless of who does the work. They create so much bloody complication (I have friends who are tethered to the house by an invisible dog leash, because they can only be away from their dog for so many hours) and make the house smell.

OP's DH was wrong to push the issue. OP should have been tougher and said ABSOLUTELY NOT from the get-go. If a guy loves dogs so much, he can sign up for the Cinnamon Trust or a share-my-doggy type scheme, or do dogsitting sometimes.

Just rehome the dog fgs. There's plenty of dog rescue centres online that would be able to help you.

Don't think the OP is coming back folks.

I'd want to know what quals/professional bodies these trainers/behaviourists had - training and behaviour is as yet, unregulated so whilst there are practitioners out there with industry recognised and externally accredited quals.. there are many without.

I've asked twice now if the dog has been checked for BOAS, because many french bulldogs are suffering hypoxemia and this one appears to have come from a crappy breeder, so is again, highly likely to have breathing issues. This needs to be tested for by CT scan and x-ray, NOT just a vet having a quick look or an owner saying 'no im sure he's fine look he can chase a ball..'.

He could well also have hearing problems - again, breeding for colour, shape etc instead of health and temperament can contribute to that.

A dog who is potentially deaf, potentially struggling to maintain oxygen saturation.. would indeed appear to be ignorant or stupid, forget training, be easily stressed and anxious and so urinate inappropriately, have poor physical skills, appear not food motivated...

The not food motivated is a huge red flag, dogs are opportunistic scavengers, their entire reason for being is food, finding food, getting to food, protecting food, caching food. Food is why dogs are dogs not wolves, our food scraps, faeces, and attendant vermin were more valuable than remaining wary of humans!

We have meddled with some breeds so far that they're more interested in an activity (herd sheep, bite the bad guy, race to the flyball box) than in food but not french bulldogs!