To think I've absolutely gone and ruined my chances?

[arrghhh]

I met this guy at my 30th night out a few months back, I added him on Facebook and we'd been speaking periodically - nothing heavy. He had asked me if I wanted to go and grab a drink with him sometime which I replied yes.

Anyways last night I'm child free so crack open the wine, he messages and turns out he is near me visiting his mum so naturally (after a few glasses of wine I invite him round).

He came round, I was very attracted to him, he's six years younger but I was quite shocked with how mature he came across and how intelligent and well spoken he was. He asked questions about me and showed an interest.

However I hadn't eaten all day yesterday. We ended up kissing - a lot and at one point I think I remember my tits in his face however this is speculative as I was far too drunk at this point.

Next thing I know I'm waking up on the sofa with a message from him, "Hey you kinda passed out so I just popped your blanket over you and bolted for the train didnt want you thinking I legged it tried to wake you for 5-10 but no luck 😂😂" and a missed call from him about 30 minutes after that message.

I am absolutely mortified. I wish I'd never even invited him over, I knew I shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. The worst thing is I liked him and thought he had some potential but now I don't even want to reply this morning.

So mortified. Should I just block and pretend it never happened? Should I acknowledge it?

Facepalm for about 34 reasons here...

It's not harmless fun though is it? It certainly isn't fun drinking alone until you are too pissed to know what you are doing and it certainly isn't harmless to pass out with a strange man in the house.

I'm not being moralistic - I'm concerned for your health and safety and I think you should be too.

and herpes

I'm concerned about your health and safety.

Why @Chowbellow - do you really think it's OTT to be concerned for a woman who passes out drunk in the presence of a strange man? How sad.

Of course it's not strange to be concerned.

The OP doesn't know this man very well. She invited him into her home and got so drunk she had no idea what was happening. That is stupid.
Not all men are rapists but some are and none of them have it branded on their forehead. She was lucky this time but might not be next time.
She took a chance and she's entitled to do that but it was a chance. She judged it worth the chance and that's fine BUT
Pretending that this is safe behaviour is just bizarre.

She gave him a look of her tits. Don't forget that!

You know you could save it if you want to...just come back a bit lighthearted. Your messages were a bit short and serious so it sounds like you don't want to see him again, but if you wanted to I'm sure you could and he would be happy/surprised

He could look at her cunt and take a picture of it to send to her mum and if she wanted him to, so what!
The thing is, she got so drunk she doesn't know what he did!

I don't care if he sticks his cock in every orifice she has while her tits swing up and down if that's what she wants.

The point is she gave up control of what he could and couldn't do when she passed out. She took a chance, fine but @chowbellow you seem to be confused...you think people saying it wasn't safe are the moral police but they're not.
They're saying shag him every which way you want, OP but always make sure you are in control-especially with someone you don't know very well-and getting so drunk she passed out was not remaining in control.

And @chowbellow if you disagree with anything I have said-don't invite a man you don't know very well home and drink so much you pass out and can't help yourself-then you are a fool.
Just to be clear to you, it is not about morals. Shag, shag, shag everyone you want but don't lose control especially if you are behind closed doors and don't know him very well.
If you disagree with that, then you must have the brain power of a lobotomized mouse.

Or maybe someone who benefits from encouraging women to get so drunk they can't help themselves if they needed to.

Tell you we’re child free so relaxing and drank too much on an empty stomach.

To be honest if someone invited me round, and then got so drunk they passed out I'd think 'massive red flag' and never talk to them again

Nope I never miss a meal- well, hardly ever, definitely not more than one, and that I would make up for later. It doesn't matter whether I'm hungry or not.

It's not good to not eat all day and OP said it's due to anxiety (at eating around others.) @arrghhh I would've sneakily had a Snickers.

@arrghhh What did you think of thankfully-not-a-rapist (as far as we know) bloke? He seems like a nice guy. I wouldn't give up on him yet. Maybe ask him out on a wholesome date of some kind? Picnic or something while we still have some days with a bit of sun?

@OldFan

do u think you would drop down dead if you missed a meal or something?!

it doesn’t anyone any harm to miss a meal every so often

you deffo don’t need to “make up for it later” if you do miss a meal

how do u make yourself eat if you’re not hungry?!
i would feel sick if I did that

you sound quite rigid around food

I think the moral police are being a bit harsh. Was it risky yes, but the thread was about has OP blown her chance with person not has she blown him, engaged in risky behaviours etc.

OP already made that choice and while it’s not one everyone would make it’s been and done, she was asking for help about relationship/next date etc

@LuckySantangelo35

OP said she couldn't be arsed cooking when she got in, so (as far as we know) alcohol is all she had that day. That's not good. No one would recommend that.

Please don't drink on an empty stomach!!! I'm shocked by how mamy people drink on an empty stomach and don't realise how extremely dangerous it is! A young woman I used to go to school with died suddenly a couple of years ago from Alcoholic Ketoacidosis. She'd not eaten all day and the alcohol had a toxic effect. She died in her back garden. If you don't believe me, please google it.

Christ just read about it. Had no idea that was even a thing. Will think twice. Poor woman.

In fairness Alcoholic Ketoacidosiss AKA is extremely rare it’s really not a common occurrence.AKA is associated with alcohol misuse, there is the complication of ethanol dependency as it creates the risk
Drinking on an empty stomach won’t necessarily result in an AKA

Sounds like he's way more mature than OP.

@arrghhh I had to work on reducing my alcohol units for my mental health and wellbeing. I still have to watch it and find it easy to slip back into drinking a bit too much.

Perhaps it might help you if you followed NHS guidelines when it comes to drinking. This is under 14 units per week but also limiting units per 'session.' Drinkaware says this should be under 6 units a session for women. You can work out your units here www.drinkaware.co.uk/tools/unit-and-calorie-calculator . I found it helpful to keep a diary of it over a few months- but then, I also did it to prove to my Dr. I wasn't an alkie.

It has already had a negative effect on your relationships/relationship prospects.

This isn't a lecture, I had to do it myself fairly recently and still have to be vigilant about it.

Too much drinking also decreases a person's appetite. That's when they become more at risk of complications.

The young woman this happened to WASN'T an alcoholic and didn't abuse alcohol. She hadn't eaten all day and drank on an empty stomach. She was a health fanatic who ate well, exercised regularly and generally loved life. I'm not saying this definitely happens to everyone but it did happen to this woman and more people should know about it.

It is dangerous for anyone to drink alcohol on an empty stomach, never say never.

OP, message or call this guy, apologise for getting so drunk and ask if you can go on another date and start again fresh. If he likes you enough, he will give you a chance and this will all be forgotten :)

How does that make her safer if she passes out? Yoru attitude is baffling.