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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that of your 12 year old makes dinner

278 replies

BlackShoes · 26/08/2022 22:00

The only correct response is "thank you"?

Dd made dinner for 5 tonight. Pork loin chops, corn cobs, broccoli, and roasted courgette and tomato in garlic.
DOD all the prep, timings and everything.
Dh was trying to be a spoony fucker, telling her she should do this and that, this was overcooking etc and she roundly said to stop "backseat cooking" and leave her to it.
The dog subsequently ate one of the chops while dd was in the loo and dh was in the kitchen.
Later, dd served up the chops but not the veg, but as she is having trouble with her tummy, popped to the loo again quickly. Dh commented that we were obviously having cold dinner tonight. I told him.tonshish, she has gone to a lot of effort for everyone and if his is too cold, pop it in the microwave.
Once dd was back and served up, she took one plate up to ds upstairs, put one plate aside for other ds whonwas ar work, and told DJ to come down and get his (he was upstairs by this point). Dh said, can you bring me mine like you did ds? Dd responded with no, you have been talking shit to me all night and I am not your slave.
Dh came down, looked at the dinner and said "wheres the rest of it?" meaning there wasnt enough and she had left off the tomatoes and chop. She explained that she had left the tomatoes off because she didn't think they were good enough. She had also taken the chop off his plate to replace the missing chop for (upstairs) ds as dh had been commenting in the cooking of it, so he was the one who could miss out. He then questioned why ds (the one working) got two pieces of garlic bread and he didnt. Dd explained that ds didnt have a chop (vegetarian) and had also not eaten lunch as we were out and had gone straight to work without eating so would be hungry. He complained he was the one that needed the most calories in the house.
Anyway, he needed up flopping the plate of dinner on to the couch and stating nah dont want it now and storming upstairs remarking he would just make his own.
Later he came down and went to take his plate off the couch to eat it, and found most of it gone as dd had fed it to the dog. He was then annoyed about that, even though he said he didnt want it!
Aibu to think he should have just 1)warmed int up if needed 2)just damn well said thank you and 3)if he was still hungry, make something else later and 4) not then stropped that dd fed his "unwanted" dinner to the dog!

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 26/08/2022 23:04

What were you doing while your DH was being an arsehole to your DD?

lisavanderpumpscloset · 26/08/2022 23:05

I think your DD handled it perfectly. Your H sounds like an ass and got exactly what he deserved.

excitingusername · 26/08/2022 23:08

I don't think the Dad warrants so much stick. He did very little apart from hover a bit, make silly comments and worry (turns out rightly) about his dinner, which, when it was served was actually inadequate! Wife and child against him he has gone without a balanced protein meal so that a child is pandered to. Child should have been supervised and helped with final details so that the final meal was well done. Father's meal should have been priority if there was food lacking. Everyone comes across as completely lacking respect for her father. He sounds like a bit of a baby but the whole family dynamic seems to add to this. Also, everyone should be at the table if daughter has cooked and could've helped to plate up. No insightful parenting went on in this scenario.

BEAM123 · 26/08/2022 23:08

Octomore · 26/08/2022 22:05

He sounds like a prick, and was definitely being unreasonable.

But I'm confused about why he didn't get a chop? Surely there was one chop for everyone?

He let the dog snaffle a chop while he was in the kitchen and DD was out of the room.

PlacidPenelope · 26/08/2022 23:09

It all sounds a bit complicated and chaotic, why leave the tomatoes off because they weren't good enough? Surely they were edible, with the amount of food left out/eaten by the dog, etc., it does sound a bit limited. Fair enough your daughter is 12, autistic and has an upset tummy and your dh was an arse in the kitchen irritating her but surely when it came to dishing up you could have helped? Yes your daughter may need things on her plate in a set way but not everyone else does and it does seem an awful lot of faffing went on during that phase so the food was cooling down or being eaten by the dog.

Train your dog not to steal food off worktops or anywhere else, it's unhygienic and gross having them taking things off worktops. I had a very large dog he never took food off a worktop, table or anything else because he was trained not to, if something fell on the floor, however, it was fair game.

Neondevelitionist · 26/08/2022 23:09

What a dreadful bully of a father.

JustLyra · 26/08/2022 23:10

excitingusername · 26/08/2022 23:08

I don't think the Dad warrants so much stick. He did very little apart from hover a bit, make silly comments and worry (turns out rightly) about his dinner, which, when it was served was actually inadequate! Wife and child against him he has gone without a balanced protein meal so that a child is pandered to. Child should have been supervised and helped with final details so that the final meal was well done. Father's meal should have been priority if there was food lacking. Everyone comes across as completely lacking respect for her father. He sounds like a bit of a baby but the whole family dynamic seems to add to this. Also, everyone should be at the table if daughter has cooked and could've helped to plate up. No insightful parenting went on in this scenario.

why the fuck should the father’s meal be the priority when a) he didn’t cook it and b) he was the one that let the dog eat the pork?

typeb · 26/08/2022 23:11

I know this isn't the point, but: my dog had to have emergency surgery after fishing a corn cob out of the bin. She swallowed it whole and it got stuck in the intestine and had to be surgically removed, she nearly died.

My kids have known since they were tiny that corn cobs are disposed of out of reach of the dog and weirdly that's the part of the post that's making me anxious;.

DH sounds like a knob, though.

BEAM123 · 26/08/2022 23:12

Your DH acted like a dick
Your DD is brilliant

I love how since your DH let the dog take a chop she decided it was his chop that had been taken.

I can't believe he was so critical, sounds like she did great!

a1poshpaws · 26/08/2022 23:12

Geez, it's hard to read so many "holier than thou" posts all together! Your daughter is a legend for doing all that at 12; I'm 100% certain you've taught her to wash her hands after going to the loo; it's far better for her to "talk to her father that way" than be cowed and invalidated - it seems she's sussed early on that he's a worse than useless father - and there's f-all wrong with a large dog nicking human food so long as it's not twice a day!

You rock, OP .. in everything but your choice of father of your kids! (Just out of nosiness - does he have ANY redeeming qualities?)

FallOutPloy · 26/08/2022 23:14

Genuine question - do you think your husband might also be ND? I can kind of see where he was coming from, but there were so many better ways that most NT parents would have handled it. Like the fact she's cooked a lovely mountain of veg, but almost no carbs, so he knows he's going to be hungry. I would have said "wow, that all looks delicious! I'm really hungry so I'm going to do a couple of potatoes to go with mine, would you like some?" or something along those lines.

It just sounds like they're maybe both quite similar in liking things done a very specific way, and not coping well if they're done differently?

TheWayoftheLeaf · 26/08/2022 23:16

Your husbands a dick. I mean it does sound quite chaotic but she is 12. And he was being rude and not encouraging her passion and effort.

typeb · 26/08/2022 23:17

FallOutPloy · 26/08/2022 23:14

Genuine question - do you think your husband might also be ND? I can kind of see where he was coming from, but there were so many better ways that most NT parents would have handled it. Like the fact she's cooked a lovely mountain of veg, but almost no carbs, so he knows he's going to be hungry. I would have said "wow, that all looks delicious! I'm really hungry so I'm going to do a couple of potatoes to go with mine, would you like some?" or something along those lines.

It just sounds like they're maybe both quite similar in liking things done a very specific way, and not coping well if they're done differently?

WOW

"there were so many better ways that most NT parents would have handled it." Unconscious disablist post of the week award goes to you, well done.

Greensleeves · 26/08/2022 23:19

typeb · 26/08/2022 23:17

WOW

"there were so many better ways that most NT parents would have handled it." Unconscious disablist post of the week award goes to you, well done.

Show quote history

Agreed. And the "wow, that looks delicious, but I'm going to do potatoes with mine because I think your offering is inadequate" is so rude, I despair of any NT person who thinks this is an example of superior social skills 😂

Pixiedust1234 · 26/08/2022 23:19

Congratulations and well done to your daughter. She sounds amazing especially for a12 Yr old.

Your H sounds nasty and manipulative. Time to have serious words with him tbh.

StClare101 · 26/08/2022 23:20

Your DH sounds like a deeply unpleasant man. Unless this was an isolated incident I don’t know why you are still with him.

blahblahblahspoons · 26/08/2022 23:21

Your DD sounds totally amazing - I think my 12 year old does pretty well but the only thing she can manage on her own is macaroni cheese - and very considerate OP. You should be proud of her.

Your H on the other hand needs to be forced to watch the Bluey episode 'omlette' on repeat until he gets it into his head what a decent father is supposed to do. And yes, thank you is the correct response.

wizzler · 26/08/2022 23:21

Your dd sounds great

huuskymam · 26/08/2022 23:22

Your dh is an arsehole. I'd be throwing a party if my 12 year old cooked dinner for the family. And everyone I know would know about it.

feckoffbrian · 26/08/2022 23:23

Pixiedust1234 · 26/08/2022 23:19

Congratulations and well done to your daughter. She sounds amazing especially for a12 Yr old.

Your H sounds nasty and manipulative. Time to have serious words with him tbh.

This!

SaySomethingMan · 26/08/2022 23:26

Not saying you’re lying but I’m really struggling to believe this is how families talk to each other! This post is quite sad.

The issue here goes far beyond your DH not saying thank you to DD for making dinner tbh.

LimpBiskit · 26/08/2022 23:29

What a twat of a parent.

Quincythequince · 26/08/2022 23:30

Worlds tiniest violin for him missing a protein meal 🤨

Itwasntright · 26/08/2022 23:32

And what were you doing while your husband was bullying your child? Sitting watching a film?

KirstenBlest · 26/08/2022 23:38

MiddleParking · 26/08/2022 22:05

Your husband, your daughter and your dog all come off badly in this tale tbh. Actually so do both your sons a bit.

The dog did very well out of it.

A dog's dinner of a story.