To think that of your 12 year old makes dinner

[BlackShoes]

The only correct response is "thank you"?

Dd made dinner for 5 tonight. Pork loin chops, corn cobs, broccoli, and roasted courgette and tomato in garlic.
DOD all the prep, timings and everything.
Dh was trying to be a spoony fucker, telling her she should do this and that, this was overcooking etc and she roundly said to stop "backseat cooking" and leave her to it.
The dog subsequently ate one of the chops while dd was in the loo and dh was in the kitchen.
Later, dd served up the chops but not the veg, but as she is having trouble with her tummy, popped to the loo again quickly. Dh commented that we were obviously having cold dinner tonight. I told him.tonshish, she has gone to a lot of effort for everyone and if his is too cold, pop it in the microwave.
Once dd was back and served up, she took one plate up to ds upstairs, put one plate aside for other ds whonwas ar work, and told DJ to come down and get his (he was upstairs by this point). Dh said, can you bring me mine like you did ds? Dd responded with no, you have been talking shit to me all night and I am not your slave.
Dh came down, looked at the dinner and said "wheres the rest of it?" meaning there wasnt enough and she had left off the tomatoes and chop. She explained that she had left the tomatoes off because she didn't think they were good enough. She had also taken the chop off his plate to replace the missing chop for (upstairs) ds as dh had been commenting in the cooking of it, so he was the one who could miss out. He then questioned why ds (the one working) got two pieces of garlic bread and he didnt. Dd explained that ds didnt have a chop (vegetarian) and had also not eaten lunch as we were out and had gone straight to work without eating so would be hungry. He complained he was the one that needed the most calories in the house.
Anyway, he needed up flopping the plate of dinner on to the couch and stating nah dont want it now and storming upstairs remarking he would just make his own.
Later he came down and went to take his plate off the couch to eat it, and found most of it gone as dd had fed it to the dog. He was then annoyed about that, even though he said he didnt want it!
Aibu to think he should have just 1)warmed int up if needed 2)just damn well said thank you and 3)if he was still hungry, make something else later and 4) not then stropped that dd fed his "unwanted" dinner to the dog!

That's not a meal, though, even a vegetarian one. It's a weird collection of things.

I think he was being pretty awful but at the point he was given half a meal as a sort of 'gotcha' it was inevitable he'd be annoyed about it and not just politely and enthusiastically thank her for cooking.

People here criticising a twelve year old for trying to make dinner?! Ok you may have divided the food differently, you may have insisted the family eat at the table. She's 12! She kindly kept a dinner aside for her brother who is at work, she took a plate to get brother who was in the middle of something (sweet) and actually I don't blame her for giving dad's dinner to the dog, he not picked and moaned at her, watched the dog still a chop while she was in the bathroom, classic point scoring, aha look you fucked up, so she just assumed he didn't mind his chop being eaten at he watched the dog take it. He then said he didn't want the rest of the break and flounced off upstairs. The problem here is the adult male in the household.
FWIW OP I get an upset stomach at certain times of the month, it's not a bug. I was my hands and cook dinner. Ignore those creating a norovirus pandemic.

@BlackShoes
Your DD sounds amazing! You must be really proud of her. Good for her. Knows her own mind and is very thoughtful. Your DH needs his head looking at

She’s 12 people.

And her dad was sat there lording it over her whilst she prepares food for her family.

He’s an arsehole.

All of this.

Stop feeding the dog human food and that should help with his counter surfing.

Eat in rooms or in front of the telly
is not the issue here if that’s your normal; an adult being an arse to a twelve year old who has cooked a whole meal is! To say the least, it’s hardly the way to encourage her to be helpful and independent.

I think your 12 year old daughter sounds amazing. I would be very grateful for anyone cooking my dinner for me, and a nutritious one at that x

Well done to your DD

Your DH sounds unpleasant and significantly less mature than your DD. And did he honestly tip a plate of cooked food onto a sofa, leave it there for some time, then return and decide to pick it up eat it??? How utterly scuzzy and disgusting. What kind of pigsty does this bloke live in?

This.

People are so busy falling over themselves to berate the op for not sitting around a table like the far superior humans that they are, that they're failing to grasp that it's quite impressive for a 12 year old to want to do something nice for her family.

I think an adult should have intervened to distribute the remaining pork sensibly, if your daughter wouldn't. It's great that she cooked the meal but there seems to have been a huge amount of tension and aggression around it all. Saying thanks for someone's best effort is definitely right - saying thanks when they punish you with the worst meal, not really. And she should allow others to help dish up, not leave things to go cold so she can do it her way.

If your husband's behaviour was bad enough that that seemed a reasonable step to you, he's obviously a much worse problem, though.

He didnt tip it. Kind of flopped it onto the sofa next to dd.

Why was she cooking when she’s obviously unwell - couldn’t it wait until she was better?

He's an arse.

Wish my 15 year would even boil water for pasta

Did your 12 year old really say to her dad, "you've been talking shit to me..."

She quite specific about her food.

I taught her once years ago to have veg, fruit, carbs, protein, dairy and a treat in her lunch box.
So when she makes one now she always includes these.
For dinners she leaves out the fruit as that's dessert and dairy was a glass of milk.
I guess that stuck with her! So while it seems an odd combination to some, to an autistic child it ticks the category boxes and also is food she will eat (sensory and taste issues)

Your husband sounds awful. Though TBH your DD sounds quite rude as well. Good for her for attempting to cook a family dinner and I can understand why she was stressed (and that she was mimicking his behaviour). But nothing in this scenario indicates a particularly happy and harmonious household.

He was a knob, and in future she should tell him to make his own bloody dinner if he's gonna whine like a toddler.
Poor DD, going to all that effort, thinking she's doing a nice thing for everyone, then getting that attitude in return.

That’s a great effort from your dd. She did an amazing job. She deserved praise from your dh.

What an absolute twat. He should be ashamed of his disgusting behaviour. She tried so hard 😢

Your poor daughter. She sounds like a fantastic mature girl, not many her age can make anything beyond toast! He should have eaten it and been complementary even if it was disgusting (which it wasn’t) to encourage her to stay interested in cooking.

Oh OP, you were always going to get the "gosh, how abject it all sounds" brigade invading your thread. They must have seen your title and thought all their Christmases had come at once 😂

If it makes you feel any better, I posted a picture of a cake I'd lovingly made for a friend the other day. The comments varied, but one nugget that's stuck with me was "little talent and less effort".

Your DD sounds awesome.

I dont know whats worse, the long, unnecessary post about a banal trivial event at dinner time which is probably replicated across a number of households. People fall out from time to time and say grumpy things to each other

Or is it worse that I read it and am commenting on it.

I just cant believe that people write the most mundane stuff to get views on waht has happened in the kitchen this evening.

He'd have been wearing it if he criticised anything I'd cooled. I'd be chuffed to bits if my kids cooked anything. She sounds great

In awe of your 12yo, OP.

I've been utterly rubbish at teaching mine to cook (hate the process, view meal prep as a chore, and would rather just crack on and do it and keep the kitchen tidy than let the DC experiment and learn) and am only now teaching my 18yo some very basic menus before he leaves for university next month! So I am impressed with both you and your 12yo. You should be so proud of her.

Your DH on the other hand is an arse and a twat. He doesn't deserve either her or you.

I find it utterly depressing that men like your DH can become fathers when they are so selfish, twatty and unsupportive.

Be proud of your DD and tell your DH to grow up and stop being a fuckwit.

My brother was doing the sauce smear,lamb p pile and Kenya chips at this stage haha.Gordon Ramsey has a lot to answer for.
it’s such a brilliant skill to have.cooking will get her far.

Dog is NBU.