To think that of your 12 year old makes dinner

[BlackShoes]

The only correct response is "thank you"?

Dd made dinner for 5 tonight. Pork loin chops, corn cobs, broccoli, and roasted courgette and tomato in garlic.
DOD all the prep, timings and everything.
Dh was trying to be a spoony fucker, telling her she should do this and that, this was overcooking etc and she roundly said to stop "backseat cooking" and leave her to it.
The dog subsequently ate one of the chops while dd was in the loo and dh was in the kitchen.
Later, dd served up the chops but not the veg, but as she is having trouble with her tummy, popped to the loo again quickly. Dh commented that we were obviously having cold dinner tonight. I told him.tonshish, she has gone to a lot of effort for everyone and if his is too cold, pop it in the microwave.
Once dd was back and served up, she took one plate up to ds upstairs, put one plate aside for other ds whonwas ar work, and told DJ to come down and get his (he was upstairs by this point). Dh said, can you bring me mine like you did ds? Dd responded with no, you have been talking shit to me all night and I am not your slave.
Dh came down, looked at the dinner and said "wheres the rest of it?" meaning there wasnt enough and she had left off the tomatoes and chop. She explained that she had left the tomatoes off because she didn't think they were good enough. She had also taken the chop off his plate to replace the missing chop for (upstairs) ds as dh had been commenting in the cooking of it, so he was the one who could miss out. He then questioned why ds (the one working) got two pieces of garlic bread and he didnt. Dd explained that ds didnt have a chop (vegetarian) and had also not eaten lunch as we were out and had gone straight to work without eating so would be hungry. He complained he was the one that needed the most calories in the house.
Anyway, he needed up flopping the plate of dinner on to the couch and stating nah dont want it now and storming upstairs remarking he would just make his own.
Later he came down and went to take his plate off the couch to eat it, and found most of it gone as dd had fed it to the dog. He was then annoyed about that, even though he said he didnt want it!
Aibu to think he should have just 1)warmed int up if needed 2)just damn well said thank you and 3)if he was still hungry, make something else later and 4) not then stropped that dd fed his "unwanted" dinner to the dog!

Super impressive of your DD!!! Think I'd struggle with all that she did and with different dietary requirements too!!

For comparison, I asked an almost 16 year old to quickly check on some chicken nuggets and chips in the oven this week - they claimed not to know how, then was too scared of it being too hot to open. It was pitiful really.

And yes, your DH sounds most ungrateful and downright rude.

Your DH acted like a complete twat. I do have sympathy because my H is well capable of similarly dickish behaviour. Have learned that, when he huffs and says, "just shove it!" he doesn't get his dinner. Bites off his nose to spite his face.

DD had a lovely M&S curry recently as a result...!!

Well done to your DD! Can't believe how many snotty judgey-pants have commented on this thread!!! Pay no heed!

If this is for real, WTF is wrong with your DH? She’s 12 FFS. He’s a bully.

I’m also wondering why your DD was cooking a family meal at all what she obviously wasn’t very well?!

I'm glad doggo is ok!

Exactly this! Some right snobby fuckery going on here.

She's 12. She made an effort. Your husband is a dick as is everyone else on the thread criticising her cooking and hosting abilities.

Your husband is a first class dick, he should be ashamed of himself!

I don't know what's worse, thinking an AIBU post in an AIBU chat forum is "banal" or thinking your opinion is significant enough that you have to express your disapproval.

Off you fuck, cuntychops (pardon the pun!)

DD = awesome
DS = should have come downstairs to show appreciation
DH = what a prat

Well you can send DD over to me to cook, I'll say thank you and even clean up afterwards.

Or perhaps you could plan a patio with her.

There's a lot of stuff alone that I won't repeat, but something that stuck out to me is that you're doing a lot of dictating his expected feelings. Everyone owns their own feelings, so don't tell him he should feel proud of grateful.
Also your daughter can decide what to offer and he can decide what to eat. He may find that she stops cooking for him if he doesn't eat it and behaves like that. In fact, that's pretty much what happens. Her reaction seems very healthy, to calmly explain her logic, and if the food is abandoned then use it elsewhere.
It sounds like his reaction was unhealthy in that he said he didn't want it but there was clearly something else he was unable to express. And your reaction was unhealthy in that it was specifying how he should feel.
Perhaps some quiet time to listen to each other is in order, and also try to stick to "I feel" statements rather than what he should do or feel.

Good luck, sounds tough, but don't take responsibility for everyone's feelings!

Your husband is a first class twat.

He owes DD a massive apology.

Is he usually like this with her? Does he harass and undermine her regularly? I am guessing from DD's responses to him that she has the measure of this horrible man.

You need to sit down with DD and tell her what a fantastic young woman she is and that she doesn't deserve to be treated like that, ever.

I think your DD did well and if chop stolen by tye dog but DH was in the room and he could have stopped then yesterday looses out ! Especially if he has been critical as she has cooked its not right she back chats but tbh like you I would have backed her because he needs to respect she is helping and cooking a meal

Have you tried hello fresh my 12 Yr old DD loves doing those recipes the step by step helps her timing wise trying to get my DS into the habit with them to help out a bit more

@johnd2 - there is a place in all of this for manners.

The feelings we all feel don't all have to be expressed. Nobody is so important that their feelings simply must be made known regardless of the impact on their audience.

The only people who believe that the rest of the world, or their families, or their daughter learning a new skill, need to be made aware of their feelings are entitled twats. They are domineering, boorish, rude, ungracious, and seriously lacking in cop on.

Is he her biological father?

The dog shouldn’t have eaten garlic bread, or roast vegetables really.
Your husband sounds more like a 12 year old than your dd.
Your dd did very well to prep and cook everything.

Agree with pp . Being a shepherd I'm surprised he didn't throw up. Sorry missing point of thread as am dog obsessed. I'm glad he is ok but try not to feed him garlic or onions especially. And tap him on the nose if his head comes over the kitchen bench and yell "NO"!

He sounds mean and stroppy😒
i understand giving honest feedback to help her improve but that should be done at the end of the meal and bundled in lots of praise of what she did well too..
Not Ok to just start firing negative criticisms at the her in front of everyone ..

And the fact that she left the tomatoes off because they "werent good enough" indicates she was really trying hard to impress everyone , so well done to her!

Could her "upset tummy" actually be caused by his behaviour, maybe she felt upset and wanted to leave the room..

He needs to sort himself out and be kinder with his words

I'd have eaten the dog rather than go without a chop! Why didn't you offer your DH half of your chop or suggest DD divide up the remaining chops between everyone? And I still don't see your point about important DS doing important stuff that couldn't be interrupted yet was interrupted anyway when his dinner was delivered, surely? He should have just come down to get his when he was ready. Also -

She had also taken the chop off his plate to replace the missing chop for (upstairs) ds as dh had been commenting in the cooking of it, so he was the one who could miss out.

12 or not, autistic or not, she was intentionally being petty and nasty towards her father. You should have pulled her up on that part.

Weird formatting. That should have said "12 or not, autistic or not, she was intentionally being petty and nasty towards her father. You should have pulled her up on that part."

P.s not saying she wasnt really ill but it reminded me of something i used to do as a child when i felt embarrassed/stressed/overwhelmed ,
saying "my tummy hurt" allowed me to run to the bathroom to calm down and get away from the problem which was usually my mother being mean..

He was mean and petty towards her first and it sounds like she tried to ignore him too but he kept picking!

He was mean and petty towards her first and kept picking

I'd be pleased if I ended up with no dinner if a dog got that close to it and it was prepared by someone with tummy problems. Yuck 🤮

If my partner behaved like that he’d be out the door. Nasty cunt.

The dog has had an exceptionally good day. Seems fine to me. 🐶

She wasn’t horrid to her dad. He was rude to her and she stood up for herself. He didn’t want the meal