To think that of your 12 year old makes dinner

[BlackShoes]

The only correct response is "thank you"?

Dd made dinner for 5 tonight. Pork loin chops, corn cobs, broccoli, and roasted courgette and tomato in garlic.
DOD all the prep, timings and everything.
Dh was trying to be a spoony fucker, telling her she should do this and that, this was overcooking etc and she roundly said to stop "backseat cooking" and leave her to it.
The dog subsequently ate one of the chops while dd was in the loo and dh was in the kitchen.
Later, dd served up the chops but not the veg, but as she is having trouble with her tummy, popped to the loo again quickly. Dh commented that we were obviously having cold dinner tonight. I told him.tonshish, she has gone to a lot of effort for everyone and if his is too cold, pop it in the microwave.
Once dd was back and served up, she took one plate up to ds upstairs, put one plate aside for other ds whonwas ar work, and told DJ to come down and get his (he was upstairs by this point). Dh said, can you bring me mine like you did ds? Dd responded with no, you have been talking shit to me all night and I am not your slave.
Dh came down, looked at the dinner and said "wheres the rest of it?" meaning there wasnt enough and she had left off the tomatoes and chop. She explained that she had left the tomatoes off because she didn't think they were good enough. She had also taken the chop off his plate to replace the missing chop for (upstairs) ds as dh had been commenting in the cooking of it, so he was the one who could miss out. He then questioned why ds (the one working) got two pieces of garlic bread and he didnt. Dd explained that ds didnt have a chop (vegetarian) and had also not eaten lunch as we were out and had gone straight to work without eating so would be hungry. He complained he was the one that needed the most calories in the house.
Anyway, he needed up flopping the plate of dinner on to the couch and stating nah dont want it now and storming upstairs remarking he would just make his own.
Later he came down and went to take his plate off the couch to eat it, and found most of it gone as dd had fed it to the dog. He was then annoyed about that, even though he said he didnt want it!
Aibu to think he should have just 1)warmed int up if needed 2)just damn well said thank you and 3)if he was still hungry, make something else later and 4) not then stropped that dd fed his "unwanted" dinner to the dog!

This

He sounds like an absolute prick. He sounds like a 12yo complaining that his mummy didn't make him his favourite dinner. I also wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't given a chop to the dog expecting DD to have to go without herself.

She sounds awesome, both for cooking a very impressive dinner and for standing up for herself so well. Don't talk to her about how she speaks to her father, you treat people the way they treat you. You don't have to be polite to rude people, that's what makes them think it's OK to be rude.

God I'm so glad I'm not the only one shocked by this! So fucking judgey of British parents too so thanks for that.

12 year olds aren't typically expected to cook a full dinner for anyone, all by themselves, and get it fucking perfect. I'm a full grown woman, if your dinner happens to be a little cold for your liking suck it up and say thankyou!

@AnnaFri @Dalekjastninerels
Not sure I would have written it out quite as harshly, but I do agree that children have been set quite a low bar given how many pp are incredulous that a 12yo could make pork chops and veg.

However, I do think that it's a 'nowadays' thing rather than a British thing. My mother started me off with cooking when I was around 9/10, and I was taking my turn with family meals twice a week by the age of 12. Shepherd's pie/lasagne/chilli and rice type stuff that I would start when I got in from school and would be ready to serve when my mum got in from work about 7ish.

I'll hold my hands up and admit that my two DCs, 14 and 13, are nowhere near competent in the kitchen. Both can cook simple stuff, but still need supervising through it. That's on me - I haven't put the work in to make them independent.

In response to the Op. I think the dad was really off to be critical of his DDs efforts. Everyone starts off somewhere, and it was bad manners for him to be so snippy.

Great Daughter and stroppy Husband.
He sounds like a 12 year old having a tantrum.

A planet I would not want to live on to be honest where children are expected to act like adults.

Helping out and looking after yourself is ok; being expected to cook and serve the family by yourself as a literal child (12 years old) is not ok.

he sounds like a knob but what she was serving up sounds not very good and she clearly needs supervision.

YOur husband sounds like a knob but can i borrow your kid? Mine can barely make pop tarts alone and they are older....

😂😂😂Very harsh, but so true.

@Salamamca is that you bluntness with a name change?

On point whoever you are!

I'm old, I did O Levels, that's how old I am.

When I started high school I could have made a meal for the family but my first domestic science practical was to make a batch of buns. Something I'd been able to do for years. I'd been coming home from school and peeling potatoes or do some other prep from age 7ish.

My cousin and my next door neighbour also started the same day, but at a different school, their first lessons were to make a sandwich or to make a cup of tea and some toast.

I'm sure I wasn't the only one who could make a meal but the expectation was that you would not have been cooking.

BTW these were both girls' schools and quite traditional.

Exactly this. Your dh was a prick and while I think it's nice that your dd wanted to cook she needed supervision to try and ensure that everyone got something resembling a decent meal.

It’s not about being “expected” to do it. The DD presumably wanted to do it and her parents were happy for her to do so. That suggests they either:

• Had reason to believe her capable based on previous experience; or
• Couldn’t be bothered cooking themselves, or actively supervising, so allowed her to do it despite not believing her capable; or
• Decided to indulge her despite not believing her capable, because according to Mumsnet the expectation for a 12 year old to be able to cook a full meal is pie in the sky 🙄

Regardless of which it is, the facts are the facts… she cooked an unbalanced meal and had to leave some items off the plate altogether because they weren’t edible, leaving one adult with a plate of veg and a piece of garlic bread for his dinner. 12 year olds are absolutely capable of doing a lot better and in many households are doing so on a regular basis.

Her Dad was unkind to her; I think most father's would be encouraging and eat what the child cooked, not huff and puff and act like a child themselves.

Unbalanced meal? She cooked meat with vegetable sides. Sounds like a balanced meal to me.

Only she decided the dad wasn’t deserving of meat … so she literally gave him a plate of cold veg

Because the dog ate his while he was on duty, you snooze you loose 😂

He wasn't on duty. She told him to butt out.

He wasn't on duty. She told him to butt out.

After he'd already been a dick repeatedly...to a 12-year-old who was trying her hardest to do something nice for the family. (Note she left a dish out because it wasn't good enough, so she was clearly trying v hard.)

Do you hold an adult man and a 12 year old to the same standard?

… & they all lived happily ever after. Oh sorry it’s MN so they all believe that everything’s black & white.

Your daughter will go far OP.

Your daughter sounds amazing! Cooking a lovely, healthy meal for everyone on her own, and a bit fiesty too! Your husband could do with some lessons from her in maturity.

My point exactly.

She is a child and she did her best.

She is 12 ; 12 is a child- it is not a teenager let alone an adult.

12 is a child.

12 is a child

Not sure what went wrong there.

12 is a child

Twelve!!!

I couldn't agree more! I don't suppose the child went shopping for the ingredients either, or decided what to make!

Whatever about the culture that creates culinary geniuses under the age of 10 - I preferred to let my children be children while they could. They are all adults and none has expired due to starvation....

Such high-handed, scathing remarks some have made over ONE MEAL. Not surprised the OP hasn't come back. I bet she wishes she'd never left her family open to such hateful scrutiny!