To think that of your 12 year old makes dinner

[BlackShoes]

The only correct response is "thank you"?

Dd made dinner for 5 tonight. Pork loin chops, corn cobs, broccoli, and roasted courgette and tomato in garlic.
DOD all the prep, timings and everything.
Dh was trying to be a spoony fucker, telling her she should do this and that, this was overcooking etc and she roundly said to stop "backseat cooking" and leave her to it.
The dog subsequently ate one of the chops while dd was in the loo and dh was in the kitchen.
Later, dd served up the chops but not the veg, but as she is having trouble with her tummy, popped to the loo again quickly. Dh commented that we were obviously having cold dinner tonight. I told him.tonshish, she has gone to a lot of effort for everyone and if his is too cold, pop it in the microwave.
Once dd was back and served up, she took one plate up to ds upstairs, put one plate aside for other ds whonwas ar work, and told DJ to come down and get his (he was upstairs by this point). Dh said, can you bring me mine like you did ds? Dd responded with no, you have been talking shit to me all night and I am not your slave.
Dh came down, looked at the dinner and said "wheres the rest of it?" meaning there wasnt enough and she had left off the tomatoes and chop. She explained that she had left the tomatoes off because she didn't think they were good enough. She had also taken the chop off his plate to replace the missing chop for (upstairs) ds as dh had been commenting in the cooking of it, so he was the one who could miss out. He then questioned why ds (the one working) got two pieces of garlic bread and he didnt. Dd explained that ds didnt have a chop (vegetarian) and had also not eaten lunch as we were out and had gone straight to work without eating so would be hungry. He complained he was the one that needed the most calories in the house.
Anyway, he needed up flopping the plate of dinner on to the couch and stating nah dont want it now and storming upstairs remarking he would just make his own.
Later he came down and went to take his plate off the couch to eat it, and found most of it gone as dd had fed it to the dog. He was then annoyed about that, even though he said he didnt want it!
Aibu to think he should have just 1)warmed int up if needed 2)just damn well said thank you and 3)if he was still hungry, make something else later and 4) not then stropped that dd fed his "unwanted" dinner to the dog!

There are some absolute bitches on this thread.

I don't see the need to go out of your way to be spiteful about a 12 year-old

Where? Under the Taliban where girls slave from the time they can toddle to the sink to wash the family dishes?

That is really offensive. And idiotic.

I dont believe that you actually think that the only places where children are given more independence are girls being made into slaves under a terrorist regime, so why would you post that? Because you look idiotic.

It isnt a secret that British way of raising kids is very different from other countries. British food for a start; beige food. You know that lots of countries dont have a "kids menu" because they dont feed their kids on frozen oven food. Kids not being given opportunity or chance to be responsible isnt a secret here.

My boys have been cooking since they were 8. Not making sandwiches; proper cooking. And that is very normal where I was born. It isnt normal here, because you do have a very low bar.

@WeepingSomnambulist

You all come off badly in this.

Everyone being horribly rude to each other. Spending dinner sat round a TV and leaving your son to mess about on the PC and have his dinner brought to him like he rules the house. Bad way to bring up boys in particular. Untrained dog allowed in the kitchen during cooking time when the dog cant be trusted.

The whole thing is just bad. All of it. And the vegetarian meal which is basically the side veggies from the meat eaters and some garlic bread.

Yeah. You all just look bad and i think it's pretty indicative of your home life. You dont sound like a family who enjoy each other's company. Some families are like that but your kids are young; you should still be trying.

Meals together. You realise that eating meals together with the TV off is actually really important for kids and social development etc. Get off the sofa and have your meals together. No boys being handed their plates in their rooms. Learn to talk to each other.

The way your husband and daughter speak to each other is awful, all started by him and he should be the adult teaching her how to treat people.

Whole thing is just horrible.

THIS
Can't believe so few posters can't see this.
I've cooked dinner at 12.
If I don't get protein daily I am ill.
And a pile of vegetables is not a well balanced vegetarian meal.
Healthy eating is vitally important- especially for children.

Anyway, he needed up flopping the plate of dinner on to the couch and stating nah dont want it now and storming upstairs remarking he would just make his own.

He'd have had a sarky comment about toddlers not being allowed in the kitchen from me. Or possibly told to fuck off and sleep at his mother's if he didn't apologise to his 12 year old child who tried to do something nice for him and got talked to like shit for it.

@WeepingSomnambulist

My boys have been cooking since they were 8. Not making sandwiches; proper cooking. And that is very normal where I was born. It isnt normal here, because you do have a very low bar

THIS
now that's impressive
My 4 adult children all had really good appetites.
There is no way they cooked a meal / dinner that didn't include loads of protein / veg / potatoes or whatever carbohydrates.
Even as kids they were encouraged to be independent as I was.
Even got the boys ironing early.
(My dad ironed his first shirt at 43 after my mum died ) he

There was protein in the chop and carbs in the veg and garlic bread.

And for the vegetarian?
My oldest is vegetarian. He's 10. He made that choice for himself. He knows what is a vegetarian meal and what is just being given the side dish of the main meal.

I think the lack of vegetarian meal is the parents fault. They bought chops for everyone but didnt buy an equivalent for their veggie kid. If they've bought a soy steak of some kind then the girl would have grilled that up at the same time.

You have just admitted by your post how wrong you are.

Your DD sounds great! What a fab effort.
Your H should STFU, say thank you and acknowledge DDs hard work and effort.

Considering the 12 year old is the center of this thread it makes sense she is the focus of most of the replies

Some are on here thinking a 12 year old making a pretty shit sounding meal is akin to solving world hunger

@Dalekjastninerels

Yes, she is 12

The fact she couldn't make this meal properly is shocking at that age

We were expected to contribute to family meals from 8/9 when I was younger and this wasn't odd or out of the norm

Once a week taking turns to make the family meal/dinner

sounds like your daughter tried very hard but needs to get herself in gear if she's going to make a family meal. Don't leave stuff out for the dog to get. Keep cooked food warm while waiting for other things to finish cooking or going to the loo.
Make sure everyone has the same amount of food.

Your husband sounds like a whingey prick.

I can't believe how judgy this post is.
There is no one-size fits all in terms of how families have dinner. Families will do what is best for them. Having meals on the sofa in front of the TV with one kid upstairs is not going to lead to a family life of dysfunction or lack of cohesiveness.
As for critiquing the meal, it was a meal made by a child, who went to great effort, by the sounds of it. It's wonderful your children have been cooking since 8yo of age but not families teach their children to cook full meals at such a young age and it doesn't make them lesser for it, just different in how they raise their children.

Did you also walk to school fifty miles in your feet and have to leave at the age of 10 to work in a factory?

Well to be honest I wouldn’t want my 12 year old cooking my dinner if it was a bit shit to be honest. He would be more than welcome to cook his own but I like my dinner hot and to my standard so I can kind of see where the husband is coming from.

Again? Really?

First, you decide that having children actually learn and do normal household work means they must be girls raised in the Taliban and now they must also be walking fifty miles to school and starting work at 10.

You're ridiculous. Your posts are ridiculous.

It is not old fashioned, or sexist, or terrorism to have it be the norm that children are given independence and responsibility. You set a very low bar so, to you, a 12 year old steaming some veg is amazing. But it really is not.

The dad was awful. His behaviour was awful. But everyone going on about how amazing it is that she could manage to cook... well... that is very normal in other places. It's a non-event.

You are wrong

No, @WeepingSomnambulist is absolutely right.

You and she are absoutely wrong.

My Mum grew up in a family of 11 children. She had to help a lot with chores and the little ones.

Her parents would not have dreamed of making her cook alone for the family and this was in the 1950's and 60's.

OP did your husband cook himself something in the end?

They’re on another planet.

No 12 year old is expected to cook a full family
dinner. And I was an extremely independent child - buying and making all my own food and getting myself to school daily by 14.

It would have been unheard of in year 7 for me or any of my friends to be tasked with this, with the actual expectation that it be a decent meal.

@WeepingSomnambulist

The dad was awful. His behaviour was awful. But everyone going on about how amazing it is that she could manage to cook... well... that is very normal in other places. It's a non-event.

***
THIS
and my kids weren't cooking for the family at 8 or 12
But I could.
I don't think the DD was adequate supervised.
The meal ended up being cold and unbalanced.
Nothing wrong with tea in front of the TV
But this meal was not healthy for the DH and the vegetarian.
As pp said you shouldn't punish someone by with holding food.
The remaining chops should have been divided .

The kid made a shite meal.

The dad was an arsehole.

The dog shouldn’t have been in the kitchen.

The brother should get his arse out if his bedroom for dinner.

The dad was served a plate of cold veggies as his evening meal.

The dad should have thought “fuck it” and ordered himself a takeaway.

One of the adults should have insisted on supervising the cooking.

Where was you in all this OP?