DP and his car

[Deliverooaddict]

We went out in his car last night and his driving was making me uncomfortable and when I asked him to slow down he wouldn’t because he was doing 70 so not doing anything wrong, then he got pissed off with me all night because I apparently don’t trust him. He’s been driving 10 years, 6 points on his licence, waiting to get done for drink driving and has had 3 accidents in the past year as well as a section 59. I’m not even exaggerating. He’s always getting posted on the local fb group.
It’s not the speed that scares me he’s just so reckless, brakes too late for my liking. He speeds everywhere and goes in between cars. He’s 39 so not a young driver and there’s no excuse for it, and it doesn’t help his car is falling apart from the accidents he’s had. The worst thing is his brother died from driving dangerously. I drive also.

So AIBU for refusing to go in the car with him again? This was the first time in nearly a month and if he won’t even slow down when I ask then I don’t know what to do. Now I’m getting the silent treatment. I am secretly hoping he loses his licence for the drink driving so I don’t have to feel anxious every time he steps foot in his car.

I’d dump him.

You're unreasonable for even socialising with this fucking idiot. Are your standards really this low?

weve been together for 3 years and have a child together it’s just his driving that’s the issue

That's even worse

Do you let him drive with your child?

Why did you have a child with him? You know you can never trust him to take your child anywhere and I really hope you don’t.

@AnnaFri on the odd occasion yes because what can I do? It’s his child as well. I do drive and have a car, we don’t often go in the car together as we work in opposite directions. So it’s maybe once a month

Just his driving ... And his arrogance, his lack of respect for your opinion or feelings, his disregard for your and others safety and of course the law... have I missed anything?

I would get rid of him. How can his driving be the only issue when he’s been caught drunk driving, gets so easily mad at you and is now acting like a child and giving you the silent treatment, which is an emotional abuse tactic? In the nicest way possible you need to wake up.

Then you are an irresponsible mother.

You know he doesn’t driver safely and that he is putting your child at risk, yet you allow it anyway.

You are neglecting her basic need: safety.

Why don't you drive when it's both of you? My husband is not nearly as bad as yours but I find it hard to relax. I drive 99% of the time when we're together and marital harmony is maintained.

Jesus Christ

You know he is a dangerous driver and let him take your child in the car

Step up and be a good parent

But if we split up he would be driving DD around all the time with drop offs pick ups etc.

It is not just his driving that's the issue and you know it. It's his complete disregard for the welfare of other people. He's a horrible person.

Yes he does sound very reckless. And no I would never go in the car with him. He sounds very aggressive and arrogant which must surely come out when he’s not driving.

You can’t refuse to go out with him in the car and then happily pack your child off with him. Do you need to decide what you are going to do about that.

Nope. He'll get a ban for drink driving

No he wouldn’t because you should be filming every single misdemeanour and sending it to the DVLA.

I am hoping he loses his licence as that’s the best possible outcome but sadly I’m not sure that would even stop him driving. He works an hours drive away. His brother literally died and he doesn’t take this stuff seriously still.

Well you could split and withhold custody pending a ruling he isnt allowed to drove your child around. But you wont because you want advice on how to get him to stop controlling you with silent treatment rather than advice on the whole picture.

And if he has another crash and kills that child? Will you still be going Ah well she was his daughter too, what could I have done?

You can withhold contact pending a ruling on him driving for contact time

Protect your child if you won't protect yourself

I just couldn’t be with a drink driver, it would completely change the way I saw them.

And the fact he puts you and your child at risk as well as himself and the general public. I just can’t imagine being with someone who has that little respect for both humans as a whole and the people he’s supposed to love and care for specifically.

I would give him an ultimatum.

’He’s always getting posted on the local fb group.’
^And to top it all off, this is embarrassing and would give me the complete ick. What a let down.

All you are doing is enabling him to endanger your child.

You shouldn’t be together, and he shouldn’t be having child alone.

Stop having such a defeatist attitude and do something about it.

He will be banned for the drink driving. You should dump him just for drink driving tbh. I don't know how you can even look at him let alone get in a car with or have a relationship with him. He is fucking abhorrent.

You need to protect your innocent child otherwise you are just as bad as he is. Your DC should never be driven anywhere by him. Hopefully, as a PP said, you can sort that legally.

I imagine it won't be too long before he goes the same way as his brother.

In all honesty I couldn't possibly be with someone so contemptuous of other people's safety. People like him utterly disgust me, and I am generally pretty live-and-let-live.

Please let this be bollocks...