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AIBU?

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Original poster

Really don't want to go on this hen do

734 replies

AngelicaSchuyler1 · 26/08/2022 11:37

Hen do woes...

My best friend is getting married in November.

She has booked a hen weekend for Oct in a city 2 hours from where we live, we are staying in a big house and there's a spa and swimming pool, hot tub, nice restaurant on site etc.

We've all had to pay £189 each to stay in this house for two nights, plus costs of driving there etc.

My friend was originally in the group on FB messenger but has since left so we can organise surprises etc for her. One of the other hens has decided to take charge and Im actually dreading going because she's turning it into a total tacky chav fest.

She has already bought us penis whistles, feather boas, t -shirts with "funny" names on them (e.g. Juicy Jenny, Hannah the Whore, Slaggy Sam) and is insisting we wear them when we eat at the restaurant on the first night. This is a NICE restaurant and not cheap. She has also bought a penis costume and is insisting the bride can wear it to the restaurant and it will be "such a laugh". She bought all of this tat without asking us first and now wants us all to send her the money for it.

A couple of us have piped up and said we want to wear nice outfits to the restaurant but this hen is insisting that we do all of the above to make the bride laugh, and that we can wear the t-shirts over our outfits. And she's not going to be returning any of the items and we need to each pay a share for what she's bought.

Added to that, this hen is also insisting we all chip in for a male stripper, which will cost £40 each and his performance will be maximum 20 minutes! I have flat out refused to pay for this and the group chat got a bit tense as the hen was insisting we do it.

I know my best friend and yeah she might find the above funny when we're all in the house together but I also think she will be embarrassed arriving to the restaurant dressed as a cock and got the impression from her she wanted a more classy weekend enjoying the facilities on site and having a nice meal together.

I've never met this other hen before but I already dislike her and she is really putting me off going to the hen weekend. She is really bossy and all of her ideas are tacky and hideous.

Do I tell my best friend what the other hen is planning and potentially ruin the surprise for her but give her fair warning? Or do I keep my mouth shut and just try to enjoy the weekend as best I can?

OP posts:
Maireas · 26/08/2022 18:59

Well, some people clearly have a huge disposable income.
I don't suppose you could even give all that stuff to a charity shop afterwards.

MinnieGirl · 26/08/2022 19:01

Brideandpredjudice · 26/08/2022 18:10

I'm quite certain this would be true anyway. Why would they allow people paying for an expensive meal to have to look at/listen to that type of disgusting, vulgar behaviour.

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Why would any woman want to wear a shirt with white and slut on it? I mean, seriously? It is offensive, degrading, and incredibly childish.
And a stripper?
I would be absolutely mortified if I was the bride. It would ruin my wedding.

OhmygodDont · 26/08/2022 19:19

I’ve never understood the fascination with grown ass women needing willy this and Willy that on Hen dos. Like your not 16 it’s not really that funny is it.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 26/08/2022 19:21

OhmygodDont · 26/08/2022 19:19

I’ve never understood the fascination with grown ass women needing willy this and Willy that on Hen dos. Like your not 16 it’s not really that funny is it.

Sorry Mary Whitehouse, we will be sure to have knitting and crumpets on our next night out.

UWhatNow · 26/08/2022 19:22

OhmygodDont · 26/08/2022 19:19

I’ve never understood the fascination with grown ass women needing willy this and Willy that on Hen dos. Like your not 16 it’s not really that funny is it.

Agreed. I find it embarrassingly peurile and wonder if those who find it funny are a bit thick…

Hangingoninthere88 · 26/08/2022 19:23

mam0918 · 26/08/2022 17:06

What are you on about?

All non local hen dos have to get a house, its a nessecity not the entirity of actual do... most go out and do activities (that arent IN the house) in OPs case the spa and resteraunt that are on the estates grounds.

I would be bored to death being stuck in the house on top of each other.

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Literally every hendo house I've been on we've stayed in the whole weekend. We've enjoyed the hot tub. We've had activities during the day such as dance lessons/spa treatments. We've had evening entertainment like casino and sometimes more risque like buttler in the buff. We've been able to catch up with old friends, get to know new ones, be a drunken mess when we feel like it, retire to our bedrooms when we feel like it. I've loved it. I can't think of anything worse than going to tacky, busy dive bars in the middle of a town centre, trying to talk to everyone when it's far too loud, having to pay a fortune for drinks and creepy blokes that won't leave your group alone. Maybe I'm getting old but that sounds like a total snooze fest and a waste of time and money to me. I'd like to actually spend quality time with my friends. I really don't need to burst into the middle of a busy restaurant and literally make a penis of myself to do that thanks

sunglassesonthetable · 26/08/2022 19:25

Agreed. I find it embarrassingly peurile and wonder if those who find it funny are a bit thick…

Each to their own Lady Bracknell.

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 19:25

OhmygodDont · 26/08/2022 19:19

I’ve never understood the fascination with grown ass women needing willy this and Willy that on Hen dos. Like your not 16 it’s not really that funny is it.

You sound like so much fun

OhmygodDont · 26/08/2022 19:26

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 26/08/2022 19:21

Sorry Mary Whitehouse, we will be sure to have knitting and crumpets on our next night out.

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Yes because your can’t possibly have fun out without fake plastic tat willys can you. What a bore.

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/08/2022 19:30

Wow. Cow hen is def a right one !!!!

as someone said pen is straws no proves. I had some

but dressing up as a giant penis. Erm no

can't believe she set up a new group saying you aren’t coming

you had to tell bride and glad you sent her proof

how many are going

can’t believe some have sent her £75 already

look forward to next update

hope Bride decides to uninvited her

UWhatNow · 26/08/2022 19:30

sunglassesonthetable · 26/08/2022 19:25

Agreed. I find it embarrassingly peurile and wonder if those who find it funny are a bit thick…

Each to their own Lady Bracknell.

Touché. Your literary reference beats my spelling error. I am a bit Lady Bracknell to be fair… 😂

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/08/2022 19:35

I had to Google. Did she mean something like this 😂😂😂🙀🙀🙀

Mouk · 26/08/2022 19:41

Ugh what a nightmare.

CowHen is the queen of CF's!

chillipenguin · 26/08/2022 19:43

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 26/08/2022 19:21

Sorry Mary Whitehouse, we will be sure to have knitting and crumpets on our next night out.

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I love a crumpet

billy1966 · 26/08/2022 19:44

UWhatNow · 26/08/2022 19:22

Agreed. I find it embarrassingly peurile and wonder if those who find it funny are a bit thick…

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I agree, and having partied on 5 continent in my 20's and 30's and had many friends marry over the past 30 years, not one of them felt the need for the vulgarity described.

As for paying another human being to remove their clothes?

Definitely not.

I too associate it with a general lacking of grey matter and self respect.

Stag do's also happily go ahead without strip clubs being a part of the experience.

Not every one of these occasions, for either sex, has to be a mad rush to the very bottom of the barrel.

Maisa45 · 26/08/2022 19:49

OhmygodDont · 26/08/2022 19:19

I’ve never understood the fascination with grown ass women needing willy this and Willy that on Hen dos. Like your not 16 it’s not really that funny is it.

Same. It's been done to death. Penis straws really aren't that funny.

OhmygodDont · 26/08/2022 20:00

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/08/2022 19:35

I had to Google. Did she mean something like this 😂😂😂🙀🙀🙀

Or maybe something like the Russell
Howard costume.

StaunchMomma · 26/08/2022 20:19

I think you're doing the right thing, OP.

The woman has completely taken over and what she's planning is just bloody awful!! It's so tacky and childish.

Well done for standing up for your friend. This mad tacky woman shouldn't be allowed to ruin things for other people.

sunglassesonthetable · 26/08/2022 20:22

It's probably all kicking off right now.

marzipaninyourpieplatebingo · 26/08/2022 20:46

i am so invested! 😂 please come back soon OP! i have my wine chilling and dying for the update! what if she wants to wear the penis?! 😂😂🫣

EmmaH2022 · 26/08/2022 20:47

marzipaninyourpieplatebingo · 26/08/2022 20:46

i am so invested! 😂 please come back soon OP! i have my wine chilling and dying for the update! what if she wants to wear the penis?! 😂😂🫣

Give them a chance
imagine poor bride coming off work and being greeted by all this.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 26/08/2022 20:54

Glad to see I'm not the only one who found this story oddly addictive.

How did the bride react?

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 20:57

Patiently waiting for the update...

Really don't want to go on this hen do
ManateeFair · 26/08/2022 21:06

10HailMarys · 26/08/2022 17:04

Why is touring sex museums better than what these women are doing?
Same thing, isn't it? Pushing social boundaries about acceptable displays of sexual behaviour.

One of them is going to a museum and looking at sex-related items, in the company of other people who have chosen to go to a sex museum and are aware of what they will see there. That isn't 'pushing social boundaries'. It's going to a museum to look at something, where the only other people there will be doing the same thing. It's a museum, not a brothel. You're looking at antique dildos and Victorian fetish wear and stuff. I've been to the one in Hamburg; it was really interesting. Obviously no children are allowed and there was a clear explanation of the level of explicitness you might see there when you bought your ticket.

The other is a bunch of people in a restaurant wearing t-shirts with offensive slogans on them and dressing up as a giant penis with zero consideration for the other diners who have not been asked if that is OK. The other diners in that restaurant shouldn't have to look at t-shirts that say 'Slag' and 'Whore' on them and be surrounded by penis paraphernalia, because that is not what they would reasonably expect to see in a nice restaurant and they shouldn't really have to put up with that. DP and I along with SIL and BIL took my MIL to a decent restaurant for her birthday recently and I don't think she'd have enjoyed her 80th birthday as much if she'd been facing a table of people whose t-shirts had things like Anal Angela and Slutty Sarah printed on them, to be honest.

So no, not the same thing in a million years. Incredible that this has to be explained, but there you go.

Exactly this. Anyone who thinks going to a museum of erotica is somehow pushing the boundaries of acceptable sexual behaviour is mad. It’s a museum ffs!

Maireas · 26/08/2022 21:36

ManateeFair · 26/08/2022 21:06

Exactly this. Anyone who thinks going to a museum of erotica is somehow pushing the boundaries of acceptable sexual behaviour is mad. It’s a museum ffs!

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Yeh, kid yourself it's the V&A.

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