To put opposite sex DC in same room?

[Cocopogo]

Going away for a week and there’s a double bedroom and a twin room. I was going to have the double (on my own, nice room with balcony etc) and put DS 17 and DD 13 in the twin but I’ve been told I can’t do that it’s weird.
If they had the choice they’d have separate rooms because they annoy each other as siblings do but they’d both want the double bed but the obvious option is for me to share the twin with DD but I know she’ll wake me where as DS is a heavy sleeper and the other room is lovely and wasted on DS 😁
AIBU to put them together?

It does when it comes to comfort bad which is totally different to some hyperbole of pervert by a pool ffs.

No one likes sharing but if you cannot share a room with a sibling for a week the family has big issues.

All the OP has actually said is “if they had the choice they’d have separate rooms because they annoy each other as siblings do”.

Nothing about discomfort or fear or mortification or anything. Just simply, if they could they’d choose separate rooms…..which is pretty much what EVERYBODY would choose if money was no object. There is far too much projection and assumption going on in this thread.

I think it does if the adult has paid for the holiday tbh.

I stopped going on family holidays at 18 because I didn't want to share with my brother anymore, or do the same things my family wanted to do. Not wanting to share with him had nothing to do with the fact that he was a boy. It was more the fact that he snored.

You are seriously projecting

No one said they're not comfortable with it

Most people prefer to have their own rooms

That doesn't mean they're uncomfortable sharing

I think it's fine

MIne always share on holidays. What on earth would be the issue ?? My daughter is 19 and on our last holiday shared with her two brothers, 17 and 15 . Completely normal .
It's not as easy as 'book another room' is doing this adds a few grand to your holiday !
Anyway, I think it's really weird to suggest they CANNOT share . What are you thinking might happen ?

It's no disrespect to you or your children to say you put them in different rooms. It's a preventative safety precaution. Just like you wear a seat belt or put them in car seats even if you've never crashed a car.

Although I'd second the idea of having dd in the double with you especially if that one has mini fridge / tv etc. features that make it the nicer room.

Siblings share, nothing odd about that. In fact dsd has offered to share with dd (both adults, met adults adults) to save money on a proposed trip (they really want to go on holiday!)

2 DS 18 & 15 share with 13 DD on hols & every visit to GP, sometimes 1 can get a single room on own but they tend to take turns on this (their choice)
Not appropriate if not family but I'd feel really sad if I felt I couldn't trust DS around their DS

I wonder if those saying that it's inappropriate to share actually have sons? If you do and you think that your son is capable of perving on his little sister or worse then you need to have a serious look at your family because it's fucked up.

I reallly hope they have no children let alone boys

In some places when we were holidaying all three kids 19B 17B and 14G shared a room. I really don't see the issue. And sometimes the 19B and 14G shared a double bed - didn't occur to me it will be weird

Very few people ever think their son is capable of sexual abuse, especailly abuse of their sibling. Yet somehow sibling sexual abuse does happen. Not many parents would ever think their father would abuse their children, yet their are children who have been abused by their grandparents.

sadly people need to be aware of sexual abuse and the fact that it most commonly occurs within families. Do you think most sex offenders parents thought their child was a risk to others? no, actually Many sex offenders are very charming and likeable on the surface.

By all means assess your own situation and if you decide that bed sharing Is fine for your situation then go for it. Clearly a lot of the situations mentioned here (such as adult sibling sharing, siblings of similar ages sharing) are likely to be perfectly safe.

but please don’t be blind to the fact that familiar sexual abuse is possible. Because sadly there are children than do get abuse including by siblings, and it happens in all types of lovely families, families who would have never thought it possible.

Genuinely interested to hear whether those seriously concerned about incest never leave their teenagers alone. We both work so when ours get to this sort of age, we won't be always home with them in the holidays, after school etc.

I am not denying that sibling sexual abuse happens, of course it does, but I don't particularly are why sharing a room for a week on holiday is the biggest thing to worry about.

Do you have a son?

@hangrylady yes and a daughter.

I agree that you have to assess your own situation but I don't believe that all males are to be treated with suspicion. I just couldn't live my life that way.

I’ll answer from my perspective, but obviously others might have different opinions.

I don’t spend my whole life considering sexual risk between siblings btw, but I consider it the same as I do any other risk. So if I was choosing to leave children alone I would consider this risk as I would any other type of risk. Like assessing any other risk I might decide that the risk is low or I might not be happy with the risk and mitigate against it or change plans to avoid the risk.

My main point really though was to those people acting as if it’s wildly insane to even consider that a sexual issue might occur between siblings. It’s scary that some people won’t even entertain the idea that it is possible or parents should be aware of the potential.

I’m pretty certain my children wouldn’t start a fire if I left them alone, I’ve mitigated against that risk in various ways, but I’d never say there is zero chance of them starting a fire and that anyone concerned about children starting fires must be bonkers, because the risk is there.

sorry that was a shit analogy, but hopefully you get my point.

@Whowhatwherewhenwhynow I don't get your point at all. I'm thinking back to growing up with my own brother and if that's the case the risk is present within the home AND on holiday surely?

What do you all do on holiday? Are you all booking seperte rooms for your kids?

Of course it isn’t a risk confined to the holiday and I do book shared room for my opposite sex children. I wasn’t suggesting it was a risk only on holiday and I’m not suggesting everyone eye their male children with heavy suspicion and I’m not even saying children of opposite sex should never share a room.

I’m simply saying don’t pretend there is absolutely no chance that it could happen in your home to your children. I’m mainly replying to those who are scoffing and responding with utter incredulity at the mere mention that it might an issue to consider. by its nature child sex abuse and abuse is shrouded in huge amounts of shame and secrecy and for that reason I think people should be able to talk about things like this in the open. Not to treat all children as risks but to try to make sure we protect children as well as
possible. A young male child is likely just as vulnerable to abuse from an older child, so it’s not just about males as being a risk.

I have an 8 and 6 year old of opposite sex. They share a room sometimes at home for ‘sleep overs’ (thought not often because they fight like cat and dog). I’ve spoken to them about their private body parts, what is /isn’t appropriate etc. I’m happy with that decision given they’re close in age and I’ve had no issues.

I wouldn’t however let my daughter room share with her older cousin, because I’m not as confident he knows what is/isn’t appropriate, he’s 5 years her senior and so there is a development and power imbalance. He’s is almost certainly not a risk to her, but they wouldn’t room share and when he stays with us I have rules like bedroom doors open when playing etc because for me I’m not comfortable with those two of those ages and that relationship sharing.

I don’t think the 17 year old young man is a probable risk to his sister but he will wake up with an erection every morning.

This whole thread is about the girl. The total disregard for the privacy needs of this young man is eye-opening.

Well, I was going to make the obvious point that a young man who isn't having sex or wanking for a few days will have wet dreams. Would any sibling want to sleep in a room with that going on?

Surely many families with teenage boys share rooms on holiday. What a load of nonsense re erections/wet dreams. Our boys are 16/14 and we mostly have 1 room. They seem to be able to hide any issues fine FFS.

No one is denying stuff does happen but if you have opposite sex siblings they are probably home alone a lot so then what do these posters do then.

What do you think happens in homes where siblings share rooms permanently? 🙄