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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been on my phone while driving

206 replies

Ihaveaquestionn · 25/08/2022 22:29

Okay okay… I know I was being unreasonable but I want to know what might happen next

I was Driving from nursery drop-off to pick up a prescription - turned onto the road where the doctors surgery and pharmacy are located.

I got a call from nursery and answered using hands free in my car but it wasn’t connecting so I picked up my phone from the seat next to me. I spoke to my daughters key worker briefly (around 30 seconds) while driving about 5mph slowly into a car park.

I noticed a man in a parked car (he was parked mounted on the kerb and idling!!!) was very obviously talking to his passenger about me being on the phone while driving and looked like he was taking a photo of me! He was holding his phone up sideways in my direction.

What will happen if he reports me? As I said I know what I did was wrong but he was also breaking the law by sitting there with his engine on!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ihaveaquestionn · 26/08/2022 14:00

JimJamJollyWolly · 26/08/2022 13:50

How is that working out for you?

Show quote history

It’s been quite entertaining

OP posts:
BigSkies2022 · 26/08/2022 14:01

Incidentally, thank you to the PP who has now introduced me to Cycling Mikey, my latest YouTube obsession! that man is brilliant! "Hope the rest of your day goes better, man. You gotta do better than that, man,' is his parting shot to one terrible driver who he's filmed.

JimJamJollyWolly · 26/08/2022 14:03

Ihaveaquestionn · 26/08/2022 14:00

It’s been quite entertaining

Show quote history

Okay then. Not much I can say to that.

crosstalk · 26/08/2022 14:07

Anyone listen to the radio in the car? I've missed a couple of junctions when absorbed to music/speech radio. It's worse when you are interreacting with a conversation handsfree. So I'm sort of with the PP who suggested even handsfree should be banned. The police have it, but have a second person responding. How bad must it be to look down and use a hand off the wheel to press the buttons?

southlondonerhere · 26/08/2022 14:35

mummyh2016 · 26/08/2022 13:46

@SavoirFlair the same poster also agreed with another poster who called her a dangerous idiot and called herself stupid. I can only assume you pick and choose what you read though yes?

Yes it is the usual MN pile on. If there are 20 posts on here telling her she's an idiot does she need another 80 posts on here saying the same thing? No. Point proven. Hate these sort of posts as I would bet my life none of you would pile on someone in person yet because it's online it's okay. Cowards.

If I saw someone driving using their phone in real life I would indeed tell them they were an idiot, why do you think people wouldn't?

southlondonerhere · 26/08/2022 14:37

@Ihaveaquestionn you quite clearly feel embarrassed that you were caught doing something wrong and are now deflecting by trying to make a joke out of it and pretend like you don't care :S

FashionDisaster · 26/08/2022 14:41

mummyh2016 · 26/08/2022 13:54

@SavoirFlair and I agree with the OP when she said wouldn't she be as distracted if talking on hands free. The only difference imo is that you're using 1 hand to hold the phone. In terms of distraction it's the same. Only difference is it's legal to use hands free. Another few years and I can see hands free being banned.

What are you saying? Using handheld phones when driving is illegal because it affects concentration AND reaction time? Why aren't you considering reaction time? This isn't a very intelligent post.

mogsrus · 26/08/2022 14:42

Unless it’s the authority I wouldn’t bother thinking about it I certainly wouldn’t.

SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy · 26/08/2022 14:44

Just forget about it - nothing bad happened and the police will do sod all if he reports you, it's not admissible evidence and they don't even bother to attend burglaries. Don't do it again. Crack on with your day

Original poster
Ihaveaquestionn · 26/08/2022 15:23

JimJamJollyWolly · 26/08/2022 14:03

Okay then. Not much I can say to that.

Show quote history

😂

OP posts:
gatehouseoffleet · 26/08/2022 15:26

SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy · 26/08/2022 14:44

Just forget about it - nothing bad happened and the police will do sod all if he reports you, it's not admissible evidence and they don't even bother to attend burglaries. Don't do it again. Crack on with your day

It is admissible, the police do sometimes act on dashcams and the like.

But it's whether the OP's particular force can be bothered.

saraclara · 26/08/2022 15:51

How do you know his car was idling? You were driving and focusing on the call. How would you hear whether his engine was rolling or not?

You were a danger to others, he was not. Whether or not his engine was running. But I'm far from convinced that it was.

mountainsunsets · 26/08/2022 15:55

SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy · 26/08/2022 14:44

Just forget about it - nothing bad happened and the police will do sod all if he reports you, it's not admissible evidence and they don't even bother to attend burglaries. Don't do it again. Crack on with your day

That's really not true Hmm

They absolutely DO act on video footage and photos from the public. Thousands of people have been prosecuted and fined as a result.

Whether he'll actually send it in is another matter, though.

FashionDisaster · 26/08/2022 16:01

@Ihaveaquestionn

I think more people were responding to each other than you anyway?

Or were you "other people" as well?

vitahelp · 26/08/2022 16:15

BigSkies2022 · 26/08/2022 13:26

@vitahelp - well, yes, I take your point, which is why, if I'm driving in circumstances that require lots of concentration, I'm quite likely to excuse myself from talking for the time, and ask for music/radio to be turned off. Like I say, I am probably not great at multi-tasking. But there is a lot of research around showing that attention bestowed on a hands-free call is attention taken from the road; so I think any employer that asks employees to be available on their phone while on the road should desist.

@BigSkies2022 Yes you're right, it can definitely be a distraction, especially work calls. It annoyed me in my previous job where colleagues joining conference calls from their phone while driving somewhere were applauded for their level of commitment. I never felt it should have been something to celebrate and would have been better to let them miss the call.

MoodyMooToo · 26/08/2022 16:18

My son got run over by a phone user in a public car park. He still bears the scars. Think yourself lucky no one was hurt and hurt accept that they may inform the police.

vitahelp · 26/08/2022 16:18

It would be a bit awkward to police a ban on hands free calls though, it would be difficult to tell if someone was chatting on a call Vs singing/talking to passenger/talking to themselves.. not that I would ever do that

megletthesecond · 26/08/2022 16:24

Yabu. Never ever touch your phone when driving.

I remember I was literally driving 4 miles back from the hospice where my dad was dying and I didn't answer a call. Even though it was possibly telling me to go straight back. When you're in charge of a ton of speeding metal you concentrate on that.

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/08/2022 16:26

I voted YABU but it doesn't matter what anyone on here thinks because it is illegal.

carefullycourageous · 26/08/2022 16:27

vitahelp · 26/08/2022 16:18

It would be a bit awkward to police a ban on hands free calls though, it would be difficult to tell if someone was chatting on a call Vs singing/talking to passenger/talking to themselves.. not that I would ever do that

It would not be so much about policing it from roadside as to prosecute for more serious driving offence if there was a crash and the call log showed they were on the phone at the time.

The sentences for people who kill others with a vehicle are far too low.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 26/08/2022 16:34

Mymugisblue · 25/08/2022 22:46

You should have just pulled over and answered it, makes me mad when people pick up their phones. Turn it over or leave it in your bag from now on

^^This.
Sheer stupidity.

Original poster
Ihaveaquestionn · 26/08/2022 20:39

FashionDisaster · 26/08/2022 16:01

@Ihaveaquestionn

I think more people were responding to each other than you anyway?

Or were you "other people" as well?

Why are people so suspicious on here?!

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 27/08/2022 07:29

@FashionDisaster surely it's a given that if it affects concentration it affects reaction time though? It doesn't made me unintelligent because I didn't state the obvious Confused

ivykaty44 · 27/08/2022 07:50

@BigSkies2022 his father was killed by a drunk driver & his mission is to stop others facing a parent/loved one being killed by an illegal driver

FashionDisaster · 27/08/2022 08:05

@mummyh2016

You said

The only difference imo is that you're using 1 hand to hold the phone. In terms of distraction it's the same. Only difference is it's legal to use hands free.

Oh come on, you don't sound like you've thought about reaction time at all! The comment you made is pretty daft to be honest.