Page 8 | Women blocked on DH What's App

Footbal · 2022-08-25T16:31:45+00:00

Feel sick to my stomach writing this. Currently on holiday with DH and 3DC. DH went to the shop and left his phone on the table. I never go near his phone but I checked it. No messages on what's app or text messages that were suspicious. Nothing on his email in the inbox sent or archived. On his Whats App contacts there were three female contacts I don't know. One was a picture of a girl and her name the other two were saved under initials and they were in lingerie but couldn't see their faces with suggestive emoji after their name. He had them all blocked and no conversations. I don't know what to do. I've never ever doubted him. He works really hard for our family. He's loving affectionate and attentive towards me.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 25/08/2022 23:39

Oh man

why did you go through the phone that’s such an odd thing to do - looking at his sent / deleted emails etc ! It’s a bit much

likely these are random accounts who just text numbers - could be scammers

Honestly I have about 100 blocked Instagram accounts from half naked woman who’ve added me or messages saying they want to be friends

whatsapp I’ve had a few weirdos message me that I just reckoned were some sort of scam ! Think it’s fairly standard these days

why check the phone in such detail if you trust him

there must be more to this

millymog11 · 26/08/2022 00:29

OP.

"Just asked DH, he said they are spam and he blocks them straight away. He offered to unblock them, message them and ring them to show they are spam. He reassured me that I'm the only one for him and he loves me and our family more than anything. He wasn't angry I checked his phone as he understands what I've being going through the last while.
Thank you for all your support and reassurances mumsnetters."

I am so so happy to hear this, I hope the trust is re-built between you two.
I started reading this and thought "oh no!" as my ex husband who appeared to me to be super loyal and devoted suddenly started having a phone which strangely had literally nothing at all on it, no calls, no messages, no history. Nothing. After 3 months he left me for his work colleague (15 years younger than him).

I never saw it coming, we were married for longer than I would wish to confess.

I guess my point is, I am so happy if your husband is trying to rebuild trust but at the same time I do not in any way blame you for any concern you had.

millymog11 · 26/08/2022 00:34

Oh and OP. Ignore all the posters who are having a go at you about looking at your partners phone.

There is looking as in "we are partners and I sometimes pick up your phone to make a call and you are cool with that"
And there is looking as in "I know you are cheating so I am finding the evidence"

Unfortunately you can have many many years of very happy relationship / marriage where the former would always apply, and very suddenly, with no warning you find yourself in the latter which feels bewildering confusing and especially so as you have strangers saying you are stalking your husband!

Sirius3030 · 26/08/2022 00:41

mountainsunsets · 25/08/2022 18:02

I've got loads of random numbers blocked as I got fed up of getting so many spam calls, WhatsApps, iMessages, texts etc. - I'm certainly not having an affair and I'd be really angry if I found out DH had been snooping through my phone and assuming shit like this.

This. In block capitals. And an exclamation mark.

EntertainingandFactual · 26/08/2022 01:28

I’ve had a few random WhatsApp messages from weirdos. I think here the same kind of thing as spam/junk e-mails/phone calls.

They all get trashed and blocked. Maybe this is what he has done?

EntertainingandFactual · 26/08/2022 01:29

Just seen update! Yes, spam. Very annoying!

forevertiredx · 26/08/2022 07:18

@AnnaFri How lovely to see I've been called an idiot at 7 am. You're delightful I'm sure.

OP, were they saved to his phone contacts? Like others have said, you wouldn't save them to your phone contacts if they were bot accounts. If they weren't saved to his phone but still had photo/name then they could be bot accounts. It just doesn't sound likely IMO.

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 07:33

forevertiredx · 26/08/2022 07:18

@AnnaFri How lovely to see I've been called an idiot at 7 am. You're delightful I'm sure.

OP, were they saved to his phone contacts? Like others have said, you wouldn't save them to your phone contacts if they were bot accounts. If they weren't saved to his phone but still had photo/name then they could be bot accounts. It just doesn't sound likely IMO.

If the shoe fits.

forevertiredx · 26/08/2022 07:36

@AnnaFri ah get the stick out your ass woman. I was just giving my opinion and you decided to go full-on attack mode. Weird...

OP, I see now you managed to talk to your husband. I'm glad things went well.

SleeplessInEngland · 26/08/2022 07:36

Shitty of you to go through his phone like that. I hope you resolve your whatever issues you have.

londonrach · 26/08/2022 07:36

Another one who blocked spam whatapp although I put spam on them

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 07:37

forevertiredx · 26/08/2022 07:36

@AnnaFri ah get the stick out your ass woman. I was just giving my opinion and you decided to go full-on attack mode. Weird...

OP, I see now you managed to talk to your husband. I'm glad things went well.

Yeah, an opinion based in ignorance

Hence the label

If you don't understand something don't comment on it, especially when your comment can have impact on a woman seriously struggling with her mental health

Chellabella · 26/08/2022 07:40

If they are in lingerie in their WhatsApp profile picture, they aren’t your regular person and it’s likely to be linked to a scam or porn.

if your husband watches porn or live webcams for instance and his phone number is linked to an account then this could be where it’s come from?

the odd thing for me is, why were they blocked if there were no conversations? If they made no contact and didn’t message, why block?

forevertiredx · 26/08/2022 07:43

@AnnaFri It's not ignorance. I have a phone and use WhatsApp, I've had messages from bots myself, and I haven't saved them to my phone contacts because there's no need.

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 07:55

forevertiredx · 26/08/2022 07:43

@AnnaFri It's not ignorance. I have a phone and use WhatsApp, I've had messages from bots myself, and I haven't saved them to my phone contacts because there's no need.

Neither has the OPs husband

She ASSUMED they were saved as contacts as she could see their name and image

Ffs

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 07:56

Chellabella · 26/08/2022 07:40

If they are in lingerie in their WhatsApp profile picture, they aren’t your regular person and it’s likely to be linked to a scam or porn.

if your husband watches porn or live webcams for instance and his phone number is linked to an account then this could be where it’s come from?

the odd thing for me is, why were they blocked if there were no conversations? If they made no contact and didn’t message, why block?

When a new number messages you for the first time on WhatsApp you get an option to accept the message or block

It means you can see their opening 'line' but block straight away

Hence the no conversation history

Inklingpot · 26/08/2022 08:24

Ah, the usual barrage of thick, technically-incompetent posters desperate to provoke discord in someone else’s relationship in the hope of a juicy LTB thread.

audeloquipalam · 26/08/2022 08:29

Inklingpot · 26/08/2022 08:24

Ah, the usual barrage of thick, technically-incompetent posters desperate to provoke discord in someone else’s relationship in the hope of a juicy LTB thread.

Mumsnet: the place where all the girls you thought you’d left behind in school congregate to start again.

Alliswells · 26/08/2022 08:29

Inklingpot · 26/08/2022 08:24

Ah, the usual barrage of thick, technically-incompetent posters desperate to provoke discord in someone else’s relationship in the hope of a juicy LTB thread.

They'll come for you now 😂

Seriously though OP I've seen this on my dad's phone too. He got so stressed about it and got me to show him how to block.

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 08:30

@audeloquipalam
Well how else would anyone describe the absolute idiocy of some of these comments?

Shows how easy some are to be scammed when they can't even understand the basic workings of WhatsApp

yonce · 26/08/2022 08:39

Inklingpot · 26/08/2022 08:24

Ah, the usual barrage of thick, technically-incompetent posters desperate to provoke discord in someone else’s relationship in the hope of a juicy LTB thread.

I think any thread that involves technology should have some sort of test before you're allowed to offer advice

Some of these comments have made me laugh, but the amount of sheer incompetence in them has shown me why these scams are so prolific - half their target audience must be on MN 😂

DogInATent · 26/08/2022 09:01

Inklingpot · 26/08/2022 08:24

Ah, the usual barrage of thick, technically-incompetent posters desperate to provoke discord in someone else’s relationship in the hope of a juicy LTB thread.

How else will the relationship-trolls get their daily break-up gratification?

OneTC · 26/08/2022 09:07

millymog11 · 26/08/2022 00:34

Oh and OP. Ignore all the posters who are having a go at you about looking at your partners phone.

There is looking as in "we are partners and I sometimes pick up your phone to make a call and you are cool with that"
And there is looking as in "I know you are cheating so I am finding the evidence"

Unfortunately you can have many many years of very happy relationship / marriage where the former would always apply, and very suddenly, with no warning you find yourself in the latter which feels bewildering confusing and especially so as you have strangers saying you are stalking your husband!

The banned list isn't sitting there open when you pick the phone up. It's quite a few clicks settings/account/PRIVACY/blocked list

so yeah OP is definitely in your second category

audeloquipalam · 26/08/2022 09:12

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 08:30

@audeloquipalam
Well how else would anyone describe the absolute idiocy of some of these comments?

Shows how easy some are to be scammed when they can't even understand the basic workings of WhatsApp

I am in accord with the poster I quoted and with you.

Some people are more familiar and comfortable with things than others - the OP herself appears unfamiliar otherwise she probably wouldn’t be here in the first place.

Its the desire of some people to exploit that and cause distress that does my nut in.

I don’t believe that this many people really don’t understand how it works, or in the face of new information don’t revisit their understanding of it. They just want trouble.

The anonymity of MN perhaps allows girls rally to the cause rather than keep away for fear of being next so I guess it isn’t exactly like school. But the same anonymity allows the mean girls to just keep hammering away unchecked so maybe it is.

We all know how human nature works and how the negative rings round our head in a way that the positive never does.

Inklingpot · 26/08/2022 09:38

@audeloquipalam Yes, I agree with you. Given the number of posters who have corrected the assumption that it must be suspicious, the ones continuing to undermine the OP are therefore simply shit stirring grief vultures.