DH accepted a new job offer 100 quid less per week but says it will eventually advance his career...

[Cruella78]

DH went back to college & studied a field related to his career... He recieved a job in his new field but the salary is 100 quid less per week that we can't afford!! He says that the salary will increase & also that he will have greater earning potential I the future... Aibu to feel uneasy about this? It feels risky.. His old salary was 80k per year & I am a sahm as I don't want to pay a fortune in childcare & we have no family support...

It is quite normal when you change careers to have to start again at a slightly lower level.

I really don't see the issue.

You should be proud that your partner had the courage to go back to studies and has now found a new job that will make him happier to and is more likely to lead to a long-term happy career.

If he was making £80,000 before and is only making £100 less each week he will still be on fairly high salary.

You can also simply get a job too....

Lots of free courses around at the moment, including Level 2 and Level 3
www.gov.uk/guidance/free-courses-for-jobs

I took a few years out when my kids were little and I understand the knock in confidence it can give you.

Think of the positives, OP. Lots of people would love to be in your position. You can do anything! Your kids are in school all day and your husband earns enough to support you all.

I would get some careers advice and think hard about what you'd like to do. You're likely 25 years away from retirement, so any time spent training will pay off.

Good luck!

you're crazy, aint you? Now if it was a 100 pound cut to a 350 pound salary weekly, like me and mine, it is worth thinking about. 70 grand! Bonkers. Why don't you find a part time job to make up this 100 if you're so worried

Thank you, I need a kick up the arse.. I've been coasting long enough. I'm nervous though, I've lost a lot of confidence in myself & my abilities over the years...

@Cruella78 I work as a lunchtime supervisor in primary approx £250 a month.No qualification needed just dbs check

Have you thought about being a teaching assistant? What are your qualifications like - esp Maths / English? You write well enough, so I’d imagine that’s ok. You might need to do a qualification (I’m sure a TA will be along soon to tell me!) but you’re allowed to invest in your career too…

We never really get takeaways, cut out nextflix a while ago & we shop at aldo/lidl.. We have a large mortgage & dc do an expensive hobby which they are excelling at & love so would be reluctant to cut down...

@Cruella78

My mum is retraining as a teaching assistant at 52! It's an apprenticeship. She's on around £13000 a year. Anything is possible

What can I do? I have no career or qualifications as such

Get some? You must have some experience if you had your children in your 30s. And no need for night work if kids are 7 and 10, they are not home most of the day.

Stop worrying and try to find something, the hospitality industry is absolutely crying out for people. When you know for sure you're unemployable then maybe worry but worrying about something you have no idea has even happened yet is bizarre.

Yes I took a £7k paycut many years ago to move into a different area of work. Within two years I'd made up the difference and now vastly outstrip what I would have got to if I'd stayed put .

I think the average UK salary (full time) is £32K so £80K still seems very good!

I've started my own business and for the first three years there was no income, just investing $$$$$$ as I had to develop, invent, design, source materials etc. Then I had to establish a market. I ended up putting about $30,000 a month in my pocket. Sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less. I was totally 'unqualified' in the field. I became the expert.

You have to believe in yourself and your husband sounds like a winner.

You can always pick up a job during weekends and support the family?

I think the thing your family can't afford is for you to be a SAHM any longer. Time to think about what lifestyle you want and do something about it.

YABU, because YOU don’t work, for the flimsiest reason I’ve ever seen, and all the pressure to earn is on HIM, therefore he needs to be in a job that he enjoys.

Families are having to manage on far less than than £70!

So either cut your outgoings or find a part-time evening or weekend job to contribute to the family pot.

£70k I meant.

Serious question OP, what would you do money wise if he left you? You're in a very vulnerable position by not working.
My youngest is 6 and I manage to work 30 hours a week. My advice is to find a job

Yes I was in retail until my early 30s.

There are loads of retail jobs out there. Get looking! Loads of supermarkets need evening staff. And your kids are at school during the day during term-time so you can work around that too.

Sounds like your DH is thinking long-term but you've just got a bit lazy to be honest.

DH can help take kids to their 'expensive hobby' at weekends.

You need to pull together as a family.

dc do an expensive hobby which they are excelling at & love

See that seems like excellent motivation for you to get back into work. You have lost confidence, but you'll be doing it for your dc (and for yourself). I bet that after of a year of work you'll hardly receognise yourself, you'll feel so much more positive. It doesn't have to be anything grand, start anywhere, and know that by doing so you are part of the team supporting the aspirations of your family. Good luck!

Exactly this.

He's not working in his field where he has promotion opportunities with the additional studies.

Your children are 7 and 10, not pre-school age. Childcare wouldn't be the fortune you made it out to be in your OP.

Go back to work.

You do what my mother did, then I and my friend did you get evening night work. Friend did shelf filling at Asda I did data processing. Later on when kids were at school we both retrained got a degree.

Why should the children have to give up something because you don't want to work???