DH accepted a new job offer 100 quid less per week but says it will eventually advance his career...

[Cruella78]

DH went back to college & studied a field related to his career... He recieved a job in his new field but the salary is 100 quid less per week that we can't afford!! He says that the salary will increase & also that he will have greater earning potential I the future... Aibu to feel uneasy about this? It feels risky.. His old salary was 80k per year & I am a sahm as I don't want to pay a fortune in childcare & we have no family support...

You have to think long-term! Yes it's a temporary drop in salary but it's short term and still a high wage. As he's the one who's earning its important he has a role he finds rewarding and has long term prospects. It seems to be a bit short sighted not to realise this. You could also get a part time job if you're that concerned about money. Even with no qualifications there are plenty of jobs that would pay £60 a week. Lunchtime supervisor at a school for example. It's what I did when I returned to work anvd I had no experience. I now have a part time office job.

OP I know some of us might have been a bit hard on you, myself included, but I really hope this thread has shaken you out of what was perhaps a quite complacent attitude. It sounds like you have a good husband there, two healthy children and a good income. All wonderful things. Don't fuck it up by whinging about the 10k drop or raining on your husbands parade, instead see this as an opportunity for you all to have a good life with maybe more balance in terms of your earnings too. I am 6 years older than you and I have a PhD but if I wanted an extra 400 a month, damn straight I'd be babysitting, cleaning, working in a pub, etc.

Lifestyles expand with incomes. Doesn't matter how big your income is if your mortgage payment is bigger.

Tbh it's not that big a drop and surely you discussed all this before he decided to retrain. It sounds as though you're just having a wobble. You'll all be fine.

Schools always need cleaners, kitchen, staff, and dinner ladies. You are not unemployable.

What do you do in general during the school day currently? Is there anything you do that you could find work in?

If you can’t manage on £1000+ a week take home salary then you need to make some sacrifices, or Maybe you can take a weekend/evening job? What the hell do you spend £4k on a month? You can cut some corners somewhere.

I took a pay cut a few years ago to change jobs, best thing I ever did,
moved from a small company to big company, never looked back, soon recouped my salary losses via promotion etc and a much better overall package.

I have a 2nd job in a supermarket -
£140 a week doing 6 hours on a Sunday and 2 evenings. Its fine. Just do something like that. £70k is an excellent salary fgs.

Do you plan not to work for the rest of your life, OP?

You're 25 years off retirement age. You have more than enough time to train and do something.

Can OP cut back though? I think people have been hard because it's not OP who is having to go to work nor does it affect her career goals long term.

There's lots of things to look at Supermarket where do you shop? Judging by threads on here people spend loads. OP could try Aldi. Cut Sky out... cut down on takeaways.... OP hasn't tried any of this yet

You could ask somebody who has gone back to college to improve their prospects how they did it?

Or just google the local adult education in your area.

what about casual/bank jobs? that way you can kind of pick and choose your hours to suit if your husband worked shifts.

It sounds as if you've lost your confidence a little bit and that is why you're struggling, once you get yourself out there you will feel better about it.

Why can't you work when the kids are in school?

OP You could do a catering job of a weekend and earn £11.50 an hour for an 8-12 hour shift- my teenage DD does this with no qualifications for a team that caters for wedding sans golf club / posh Do events. She gets tips sometimes too and they train you. She works with lovely people and only does the shifts she can fit in. They have workers from 16 (she's 18) to middle aged.

If it's that tight you could do this for a few years once a week and earn enough to cover what he's losing is your mortgage is dependent on it. Ultimately unless he's using your married tax allowance, you wouldn't even pay tax as earnings would be too low.

Also her catering team pick her up and drop her back home as they go to events all over the county and sometimes the next county.

So your moaning about your DH who is actually working and bringing home a decent amount yet your doing nothing. I mean come on your kids are school age will be using that excuse forever to get out of working. You could definitely work part time to make up the shortfall.

There’s loads of jobs you can do - one of my husband’s mates does this thing called Viewber, you sign up as a freelancer to take people on house viewings when estate agents don’t have anyone available. Like Uber for viewings, pick and choose the ones you want. What is stopping you working? You can’t sit around getting your nails done and going for coffee until you die!

What can I do? I have no career or qualifications as such

I worked in a pub kitchen preparing food etc, during school hours and a couple of evenings. It wasn't what I was trained for but I earned £600 a month (this was 20 years ago, would be a lot more now) And weirdly, I enjoyed it!

You can’t sit around getting your nails done and going for coffee until you die!

You just try and stop me!

😂

He's a mug. Or a liar. No one on 80k takes a lower salary unless they're desperate.

What would you do if you ended up divorced?

You cannot complain about him trying to advance his career when you are at home and not working.

Your DH is not taking a 'huge risk'. What he is doing will pay off

The only huge risk I can see is that you are unwilling to work or find ways to cut back. What do you do when the dc are at school?

YABU. It’s his choice and he’s still on a very decent wage. As others have suggested you would be better thinking long term and trying to establish some financial independence yourself.

Hospitality is crying out for workers at the moment, maybe a shift a week in a pub or restaurant? That would make up your loss id imagine.