Neighbour demanding money

[4or5]

My neighbour is asking me to “cough up!” So earlier this month I took the DC to the beach for the day. When I arrived home there was a letter from the next door neighbour (elderly lady, lives alone) saying that all the banging from my house had caused a picture to fall off the wall, and she expected a contribution to the cost of having it reframed. I promptly popped over to get more detail. She said that it had happened at around 9:30pm the evening before and claims that there was horrendous banging coming from my house, I explained that my 20yr old DS sleeps in the room adjoining her house and that he wasn’t home until gone 11:30pm and went straight to bed, therefore he couldn’t have been banging anything. The wall between the two houses is also solid brick so I can’t see how she would hear any noise that couldn’t be heard from inside my own house, let alone cause such a vibration that it caused a picture to fly off the wall. After I explained, I thought that was the matter dealt with. Anyway yesterday she knocked round telling me that my DS has a big bill coming his way, I asked what for? and she said about the picture. (No longer asking for a contribution, wants DS to foot the whole bill) I explained again that no one was in the room so we cannot be responsible for her picture falling, her response was “So you’re not going to cough up?” I stayed polite and sympathised that her picture was broken but firmly let her know we would not be paying anything. She’s now saying she’ll get her family involved, which is fine, I will explain the same to them (If no one was there how could they be banging!) We are new to a small village and I fear this could escalate quickly into us being the scum of the village. AIBU to think it’s unfair for us to take the blame?

£100 shes nuts, just ignore her

Please be nice to her.

Years ago my elderly grandfather blamed something really bizarre on his neighbors. It was dementia that had been coming on slowly which he'd managed to hide - until that one night when all hell broke loose. We lived on the same street and I remember my father being so embarrassed and shocked. That was over 50 years ago. About 8 years ago my own father thought his long time neighbor was up to no good. He even stood at his kitchen window and watched the neighbor carry out these wicked deeds, which were hallucinations caused by my father's Parkinson's. Luckily he never confronted the neighbor, but came very close to. He understood it was the PD and also remembered what his father had gone through.

Talk to her family. Be kind, it can happen to the best of us.

If you are able to knock a painting through a brick wall simply by banging on the wall then you have a lot more to worry about than the cost of the painting lol.

Unless your wall is structurally unsound, there's no way that happened.

Doesn’t sound like dementia to me. Sounds like she’s potentially an awkward git who lives a bit of trouble. Tell her to sod off

I agree with this.

Don’t engage. If a family member comes knocking politely inform them that you consider the claim completely ridiculous and will not be paying under any circumstances. Then gently close the door in their face.

Could be all sorts of things, could be the picture just fell off the wall as a result of the picture hook failing, string fraying, wire rusting through...

There may have been no banging noise but she misremembers one in trying to explain why the picture fell off, could be it falling off gave her a big shock..

Could be she has hearing issues, dementia, drinking problems, other issues that cause her to hear things that are not happening - my mother was CONVINCED, to the point of notes in the window and calling the police, that someone was banging on her window at 3am several nights a week, every week. We set up a camera... on the nights she claimed it happened, there was no one there!

Yet despite telling her this and a few times, staying over in the living room (same side of house, window out onto the garden), she still claimed it was happening and that it was escalating to faces pressed up against the glass.

She was seeing and hearing things as a result of her drinking problems. Nothing else.

Just politely decline, if anyone shows up asking say you're very sorry shes upset but there was no one in the room at the time she originally claimed it happened nor for many hours after and it is simply not possible so you won't be paying.

She has no legal leg to stand on so I wouldn't worry about it too much!

Engage with kindness but be firm about not paying. There could be a number of reasons she believes this was your fault.

We had a picture fall off the wall once - nobody's fault - just the fitting worked loose over time or something.
£100 for a new frame? Must be some picture!
Just stick to your guns, whatever the reason for it, she is just looking for someone to blame.

Not a fan of all the assuming she is old and therefore not to be believed.

Maybe a picture did fall off the wall and she heard a bang. She might have assumed that came from you and can't work out what else could have caused it. Who knows?

I guess I'm saying you should have some empathy because she's probably made a genuine mistake, however now you have told her there is no possibility it could have been you, she needs to back off.

I would write a polite letter explaining what you've already told her face to face, and then leave it there and don't engage any further.

Our former neighbour claimed that his tiles had been damaged by us putting a hook in the wall for a clothes line. We pointed out that the wall was almost a foot thick. He went to his landlord (who had renovated our house and his) who told him to wind his neck in. Then it was my plants making it damp. Every year till he died he found a thing to complain about.

It might be an idea to keep a note of dates and conversations written down, just in case the Neighbour escalates things.

@4or5 don’t park with a single penny. It’s very rude of her to say “your DS has a big bill coming his way”!

i do think there is a mental health issue at play here though. Keep calm, keep your temper and just see if she does go to her family as she is the threatening one!

Or when someone does something so irrational, repeatedly and insists they pay for damage they have not caused, with no proof whatsoever, question their sanity.

@4or5 could you take a photo of the corresponding wall in your house to prove that there was nowhere on that wall that any mark or damage was sustained, or maybe where there's a wardrobe or furniture which would be conclusive that no banging will have caused her picture to be knocked of the wall on her side.

it would have taken a sledgehammer to have vibrated and unhooked a picture off her wall!

off

I wonder if the neighbour might be part of the reason why the previous owners of your house moved. It would be interesting to ask other neighbours if they are aware of similar incidences.

Just carry on being polite - it might be good if she contacts her family. I suspect they will realise it’s not possible and help her hang the new one securely.

£100 🤣 you can get a photo frame for £9.99 in the Range.
Definitely don't back down on this one OP. If you're new, this might be the first in a long line of unreasonable requests and if you pay for this one, the next one will be along soon.

My Mum gets things confused, mistakes events, dates, embellishes stories, transposes characters in accounts etc.

It's not inconceivable that your NDN has done this and her family believed her.

Similarly string, hooks in plaster can give up the ghost and fail with no obvious cause.

In my childhood we lived in a solid house 20m from a level crossing, lorries could rattle the windows as they drove over at speed.

It’s also not inconceivable that there was a minor earthquake. Whilst rare they do occur. Throw the last one into the discussion!

Its probably the dead artists ghost objecting to the type of frame, she needs a priest.

Def agree, refuse to pay.

She probably heard a bang when the picture fell off the wall, then later when she discovered that it had fallen remembered the noise and put two and two together and made five in that she thought the bang was what caused the picture to fall and didn’t collate it with the sound of the picture hitting the floor.

You just have to politely refuse to pay and advise her to contact a solicitor if she wants to pursue you for these costs.

If the relatives get involved, hopefully they are reasonable.

Let her hang the picture back on her wall, come round to your house and let her try to bang the wall hard enough to knock it off. If she can do it, give her the money.

Posted too soon. Have you thought that her family probably knows what she’s like and will perhaps tell you to ignore it.
whatever don’t pay as this could be her sounding you out and could be the start of all manner of accusations demanding more money.