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Original poster

What can he do to show he can meet his child's needs

158 replies

SplashparkSummer · 24/08/2022 21:02

Just looking for a bit of help and support.

It seems likely that my nephew's DS who lives with his DM is going to be taken from her care as she is struggling with her mental health. DN would like him put into his care. But he currently only sees him 3 hours per week at a contact centre. How can he show he can meet his needs? Are there specific things SW look out for. His reports from the contact centre are positive. However, SS have only observed once and it was a bad day where nephew struggled to get his DS to stop crying as it turned out he was ill. Based on this he failed his assessment.

Any advice, please?

OP posts:
Original poster
SplashparkSummer · 26/08/2022 21:11

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 26/08/2022 20:29

I think some people are giving op a hard time in unnecessarily here. she is clearly trying to support both parents through the process with social care. A terrifying and uni setting process for any parent but especially hard for those who themselves were in care as children. She has taken advice offered and has recognised that she probably doesn’t have all the Information about the concerns social care have. It’s not uncommon for family members to be unaware of the wider context of concerns or to not understand how child protection/contact works.

Op isn’t the one making decisions about the child’s care anyway. Op is simply a family member trying to support her loved one through this process and seeking advice about helping someone whose child might end up in foster care.

Even parents (and their families) who can’t provide safe care, and whose children are removed permanently, deserve support.

Thank you, that's such a kind post. And so many generous have given so much help and support.

It appears some like to make things up or confidentiality assert something that is actually untrue in order to continue to dig for gossip.

I'm going to stop reading now but will come back and reply to the other sensible posts trying to help.

Had dinner with little GN and his mum tonight. She did really well, although she was tired. The little one loved his new 'that's not my' book I brought him and we read at bedtime. Once he was in bed I helped his mother start a scrap book of him. There were a few tears then..

OP posts:
AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 21:29

@Whowhatwherewhenwhynow

Never said otherwise

I was replying to someone claiming SS wouldn't care about the age gap

Whereas it feeds into the wider issues in this man's case with his child

Original poster
SplashparkSummer · 26/08/2022 21:35

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 21:29

@Whowhatwherewhenwhynow

Never said otherwise

I was replying to someone claiming SS wouldn't care about the age gap

Whereas it feeds into the wider issues in this man's case with his child

I was just saying that Social Services were not worried about the age gap.

OP posts:
Marotte · 26/08/2022 22:57

I was just saying that Social Services were not worried about the age gap.

Indeed. Because the age of consent is still 16. Not 18. The age gap is not that big, and not uncommon. I'm pretty sure Social Services know their job, and what is of concern, more than a few random Mumsnetters do. Mumsnet is a parallel world sometimes.

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 06:58

Marotte · 26/08/2022 22:57

I was just saying that Social Services were not worried about the age gap.

Indeed. Because the age of consent is still 16. Not 18. The age gap is not that big, and not uncommon. I'm pretty sure Social Services know their job, and what is of concern, more than a few random Mumsnetters do. Mumsnet is a parallel world sometimes.

He beat his child girlfriend and impregnated another one.

If you don't think this will be forming part of the background reasons for this current SS situation you're on another planet.

Original poster
SplashparkSummer · 27/08/2022 12:43

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 06:58

He beat his child girlfriend and impregnated another one.

If you don't think this will be forming part of the background reasons for this current SS situation you're on another planet.

Show quote history

I'm sorry, but you are just creating your own sensational storyline to amuse yourself which is pretty sick.

He did not 'beat his child girlfriend'. I said they were teenagers. He hit her once (luckily that was once too many for her at the time). He was 17 and she was 18 at the end of the relationship, so as it happens she was an adult.

And again what does it matter what I think! I don't make the decisions. However, no, SS do not consider a sexual relationship between 2 young people above the age of consent an issue (in this particular case, anyway). I have made it clear that him hitting a previous girlfriend is of course a concern.

So stop wasting my time with your sick and innacurate posts. I won't reply to you again.

OP posts:
Original poster
SplashparkSummer · 27/08/2022 12:44

Scout2016 · 26/08/2022 19:40

If there is a child protection plan in place, what category was it under and was your nephew actively involved? Did he have copies of the plans, attend core group meetings, case conferences? How long has he been on a CP plan?
Currently the local authority don't share PR, so if they go to court to get it via an interim care order, and seek to remove from mum and place with a foster carer rather than with dad then they need to convince the court first that he is at significant risk of harm from dad.

Thank you for the information.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 27/08/2022 13:11

If the mum was 17 when the baby was born the fact that a 21 year old was dating a child is also a huge concern. Not only that but he has previously committed domestic violence towards another child he was dating.

Oh FFS seriously?

MN is mental sometimes.

That's perfectly normal age gap and perfectly normal age of dating.

The violence isn't ok but the age gap isn't anything SS would give a shit about.

My parents were that age when they started dating and managed a perfectly respectable life with marriage, 3 kids, good careers each etc until my mum died young this year.

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