Just received this email from boss

[Briocche]

Forward of another email re something which has gone wrong whilst I’ve been on annual leave

Then her email to me “this has REALLY PISSED ME OFF - very disappointed”

That old annual leave anxiety is back in full force

Thats unrealisable isn’t it? The email?

What is “girl boss syndrome”?

I take it your hr is shit? That would be grounds for grievance at my workplace

My out of office goes on. I update my voicemail message and mute the work WhatsApp groups.

Shit happens. But I’m not dealing with it on my holiday.

OP, you need to find a job where you will be treated better.

Hi All......I am looking for some advice on relocating to the UK. I am a single mum with an 8 yo girl on the spectrum. I work in hospitality.
We are looking for an area that's family friendly with good support network/schools/amenities for kids on the spectrum, and an area that is not extortionate to rent in 🙈 The more I write, the more this is sounding like a wish list 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Currently been directed towards Bristol, Newcastle, Manchester and Brighton for work purposes - would love to hear what they are like to live in with children.

Completely open to suggestions also!

@Briocche You need to delete your emails and any other work apps off your phone while you're on leave.

Checking emails when you're on a period of leave (I'm not talking the odd day off) is where madness lies. This just shows that.

I haven't had a week off for four months. When I do have a week off next week EVERYTHING is being deleted off my phone to do with work for the duration.

In the longer term, either raise this with HR if you think it will go anywhere and think about finding a new job. Your boss is awful if she's sending those sorts of emails.

I'm so sorry I posted in the wrong place and don't know how to delete 🙈🙈😬😬

I've had way, way worse emails than that (and your one is wholly unacceptable too!). Current line manager is regularly "disappointed", say if I haven't immediately fulfilled one of her demands (eg. "I need your annual leave by x" when I've just returned from absence due to stress at work, and everyone else has already booked theirs so it doesn't matter one jot when I am off! or, "we agreed that you would submit y by z date, and I'm disappointed you haven't" - when I have agreed no such thing! I've had even worse from her manager - and been told I'm "insubordinate and challenging" when I've queried a practice that's irrational and unreasonable! I asked whether she wouldn't challenge her manager if she disagreed with them - and she said no!!

Saddest thing for me is that I am massively more academically and professionally qualified than either of them. Neither has even a degree never mind professional qualification. I'm educated to masters level in my field, and have also several management qualifications.

Problem? I'm too old.... nearly 60 and therefore invisible. I've been passed over for promotion in favour of someone half my age, with a small fraction of my qualifications. I can't really leave now either, for the same reason.

Soooo I just have to try to find a way not to care... and that's not me.

If you can get out of this situation OP - you should. It's not going to change.

Guess where I work folks... HR... Employee Relations to be specific. I'd never advise anyone to pursue a grievance or dignity at work complaint. The more senior person is always going to be supported by senior management because they are regarded as more valuable, even if they're toxic. I don't agree that HR is a management stooge though. Making sure that people are treated fairly means that the organisation stays out of industrial tribunals etc. I can honestly say, I've always dealt with cases/complaints as fairly as I can, and if the manager is in the wrong, I will say so.

Good HR should be "somewhere between managers and management". I came across this quote when researching my masters and it has always resonated with me.

It feels like we (society) are taking a step back in time. The opening lines of Dickens The Tale of Two Cities springs to mind!

When you get back totally ignore the emails and tell your boss you delete everything that comes into your inbox whilst you’re away. Don’t rise to it, that’s what she wants. And start looking for a new job ASAP that doesn’t have a bully in charge.

she is in charge if I’m not there.

Then on her head be it.
Maybe it's a case of oh shit look what's happened when I'm left in charge while you're on holiday.
You may be the regular team leader but there's nothing you could have do to prevent it while you're not in the office it sounds like a case of try to pass the buck.

Are you a member of a union, @Briocche ? This is bullying behaviour and needs to be documented.

I was once telephoned at home by a manager asking why I was not in work on that day. I had the delight of explaining I was on pre-approved annual leave, which had been approved... by the person making the call!

All emails should be sent to HR stating you wish to raise a formal grievance about 1) being sworn at on email, 2) harrassment while on leave and 3) poor management by your leader.

Reference all relevant policies such as conduct policies, email policies and any company values (the latter particularly if they are used in performance reviews).

If you really want to go nuclear state you know feel the working environment is unsafe for you and you can’t report to this person anymore.

@Briocche this is awful. I’d never send an email like that to anyone on my team and I wouldn’t send anything to someone for them to look at on holiday. If someone's cocked up we’d have to review things to avoid recurrence/ensure new team member was supported but all we’d do while the person was off would be to rectify the situation not send out emails expressing disappointment in our team. Just pointless, rude, undermining and demeaning. Doesn’t build a team but breaks it.

Leave the bastard (job). Life’s too short and you’re too good to spend yours dealing with crap like this. What changes between now and next summer? Something? Then stay. Nothing. Then don’t look back.

She can fuck off with her “disappointed”. You’re not 12 and she’s not your mum.

It's just another misogynistic phrase to keep women in their place.

There's no 'boy boss syndrome'...

Yes, shitty male bosses are allowed to be individuals. Women are always a type.

I would raise a formal complaint with HR and ask your doctor to certify you unfit to work due to workplace stress.

She's sending you the e-mails because she knows you read them and enjoys controlling you on your time off. Don't let her. Delete email off your phone during holiday times. Consider new job, because this boss sounds toxic.

@Caiti19

why have you revived a three month old thread???

ZOMBIE

Oh sorry folks! It was under "Trending"!!!

it still is under trending. Odd

Yes this. I would never go on leave without putting this in place.

We need to know the outcome now though. Did she leave the job? Did she go to HR? Did her boss get sacked?

This is awful op. I suspect you're working for a small enterprise so no HR etc. I would just look for another job. I do think though thst you must make an effort not to look at your emails whilst on leave wherever you are for the sake of your own mental health