Just received this email from boss

[Briocche]

Forward of another email re something which has gone wrong whilst I’ve been on annual leave

Then her email to me “this has REALLY PISSED ME OFF - very disappointed”

That old annual leave anxiety is back in full force

Thats unrealisable isn’t it? The email?

Extremely unprofessional. I would forward any swearing/inappropriate emails to her manager and reply to her saying ‘I do not expect to receive emails during my annual leave and I find these emails dated xxxx to be highly inappropriate and unprofessional. It is not acceptable to email me in such a manner, nor can I control what happens while I am not in the office’. Go on, do it! She should not be doing this and needs some training in how to manage you.

You need to look for another job asap.

Can you make a plan for that? It might help you de-knot your stomach.

In the meantime, send a mail saying let’s discuss when I get back, we’re going to XX so I won’t have more email access till then.

Life is far too short OP, find another role! I left a toxic work environment two years ago, it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I wish I had done it sooner, but when you’re in the thick of it you don’t realise how bad it is.

This is not the way to handle it. Obviously..

Complaint
Put out of office on (assume you have)
Delete the email app
Enjoy your holiday

That's an awful way to speak to anyway. She's a terrible manager. I would ignore until you return. Put on out of office reply and stop checking your email. Forward to HR and set up a meeting with them. Consider going down the grievance procedure. Search for a new job in the meantime - nothing is worth working for someone like that!

A bit crap, yet easily solved! Why not put an out of office on and avoid checking inbox when on AL ?

Why are they emailing you about this in the first place? Are you due back from leave or something? Are they expecting you to do something?

Time to look for a new job to be honest.

No member of staff should feel like that when they have AL.

I worked for someone like this back in the day. I resigned.

That just kicks the can down the road. It wouldn't be acceptable to find this on her return, either.

I really don't think HR will help. These kind of bosses exist and they are "untouchable".They know HR is on their side.

It is a very inappropriate message.

id try your best to shrug it off

dont respond until your back to work

and start looking for a new job

wui can be bothered to spend their working lives in that kind of inappropriate drama

Are you a team leader?

I don’t agree - our HR would take this v seriously. We had a boss who whilst not quite this bad was very intimidating and would use veiled threats - we were all nervous wrecks. HR did step in when we made a semi-formal complaint. It all depends on the organisation.

It’s all very easy for posters to say ‘ignore it’ but the OP has explained how it’s massively increased her anxiety levels - it’s hard to ignore it, and meanwhile the knots in the stomach are there while she’s on AL. Horrible.

Take it from me. Do not check your email

this last holiday I left my work phone at home, set an OOO and knew I could check emails from personal phone

i logged in as I got on plane and realised that the email wanted my additional verification/changed password, which is on the work phone only.

so that was it. 3 weeks with not a single clue what was going on.

let me tell you, it’s liberating! They’re not going to fire us if we’ve been there 2 years so whatever happens happens

from now on DONT check your email. When you go back you. Can ignore the FFS EMAIL and deal with things professionally and calmly.

don’t allow this BS to ruin your hard earned break.

Take it from me. Get the fuck out of that company now. I used to come home from work (single Mum) and work while I had an hour with my dd before she went to sleep. I didn't sleep and eventually broke down. Don't do it to yourself. They will treat you like shit and no, they do not give one shit about you.

Depends where you work my my HR would this take his very seriously

Delete the email app. Block any thoughts about work that enter your mind. Enjoy your holiday and give those people you're with your full attention.

Deal with the situation when you get back by replying to your manager that you deserve not to be 'spoken to' like that.

And look for another job where you'll receive the professional respect you deserve.

Would you ever speak to/email anyone on your team anything like that? It's aggressive, belittling, probably unfair, and you're on leave!

What scale of problem is this? Like, have you just lost the company their biggest client, or embezzled £3m or something? Or did someone in your team do a slightly shoddy job of something that wasn't overly important, but "doesn't look good for the company"?

Anyway, you're in a great position now, because you can honestly stop caring so much. Why would you be tying yourself in knots and working yourself into the ground for a boss like this? Look for something new, and just do the bare minimum til you find it.

I would be keeping that email, then raising a grievance with HR on return. Highly unprofessional.

I think I spent a year neglecting my poor little girl who just wanted to talk to her Mummy who she hadn't seen all day. It destroyed me and I don't know how it has affected her only to say that she's guarded now. I might have slept 3 hours a night for a year? I was utterly useless by the time I broke down. Useless to myself, to the company and heartbreakingly, I was useless to my daughter.

Get out.

This makes sense. Don't take your manager's disappointed onto your shoulders, it has nothing to do with you.

OP I completely understand and I am guilty of checking my emails daily, whether I am working or not. I honestly understand your anxiety and why you feel you need to try and stay ahead of things. However I can see as an outsider that you really do need to shut it off and step away from them when you are off. You also need to look for a new job, your manager is appalling. I reckon you sound like a great employee, find somewhere that appreciates you. Good luck

Start looking for a new job now

I'm not going to have a go at you for checking your emails while you're away. I have always done that just because I wanted to know what was waiting for me when I got back

I have my own business now and I keep an eye on my emails daily but I understand that's not how many people do it

However please do look into raising a grievance and getting a new job