Just received this email from boss

[Briocche]

Forward of another email re something which has gone wrong whilst I’ve been on annual leave

Then her email to me “this has REALLY PISSED ME OFF - very disappointed”

That old annual leave anxiety is back in full force

Thats unrealisable isn’t it? The email?

Don't delete that email whatever you do. I'd be taking it to HR if it were me. I had some awful experiences with ex bosses and it's the reason I went self employed. The amount of people who get into senior positions despite being rude, unprofessional bullies absolutely baffles me

Yes. I just won't tolerate being at the end of this kind of crap.

I'm freelance now, but there's absolutely no way I'd put up with shite, bullying management like this.

Escalate if you can.

and now your stomach is in knots because you did....
Time for a new job but also a change in mindset

It reads like she is pissed off with the problem (another person?) not you.

I've been in a workplace where I could imagine this happening.

I'm not going to criticise you for trying to alleviate the knots in your stomach. It sounds like you know full well this sort of thing is likely to be going off in your inbox while you are not there. You were always going to be damnned if you do, damnned if you don't check emails while on AL.

If you feel able to, when you get back reply to the email and tell her that you don't appreciate being sworn at. And depending on the organisation i'd also in all seriousness copy her line manager and HR. But I'm somebody who is ready for the fight in my own job right now, and i appreciate you may not be mentally at that place.

More than anything though, as injustice as it is, find yourself another job. In reality things won't improve where you are, and life really is too short.

Just gitlboss syndrome innit?

Surely she's telling you she's pissed off that she can't rely on them, not that she's pissed off at you?

What's gitlboss syndrome?

*girlboss

If you do end up resigning over this please tell them the reason, and if there's an exit interview lay it all out in full too.
i agree it is bullying.

Acknowledge it when you get back, do not respond. Do not think about it.

Oh fuck that. Why do people put up with managers like that? No job or title is worth that shit, you know the saying plenty more fish in the sea? Well there’s plenty more jobs on the boards!! Honestly it comes down to self respect usually. Move on and value you! Not some #girlboss who needs to seriously get a life beyond work.

This is exactly why you shouldn’t ever check work
emails whilst on leave. Just allow yourself to completely detach and let your colleagues deal with everything.

This is really poor management. To email someone on leave firstly. To not try to solve it with whom ever is covering secondly. Thirdly the bad language. Fourthly to expect you to fix it. Fifth to be so negative. The buck.doesn't stop with you....she's the boss.
I would complain to hr as from.what you say this bully does this often. It needs to be stopped.

Managers are not culpable for the actions of their team.

I bet it wasn't even a big issue anyway.

The culture of an organisation comes from the top.

And I'm writing as someone currently on holiday and looking at work emails.

Dear Boss, I am disappointed about the unprofessional emails I have received while I am on holiday - why do this when I was obviously unable to supervise this junior worker (who, by the way, is still in training). The correct procedure would surely have been to wait until I returned?
Please be aware that when I am on holiday I am also out of communication.
What are human resources instructions on this, out of interest.
Yours etc
(Translation - sod off I am on holiday)

Reading this is making me feel sick - sounds so much like my situation. Am on day 3 of annual leave, thankfully no access to work emails but dreading the deluge of shit when I return....

A friend kept emails similar to this and elicited further responses by messaging back asking politely why she was being contacted whilst on leave. Her boss became angrier and more abusive with each message. My friend asked why he was being so rude etc. She sent the emails to his boss and said she couldn't face going back to work and would be taking advice through ACAS. Her boss got sacked and she was asked to return but opted for a generous settlement.

You are taking it to heart to much. You are on annual leave. You cannot be held responsible if you aren't there. Just watch things that happen with detachment and go through the motions if strictly necessary.

Certainly don't start any argument or HR nonsense. You'll just get dragged in and it will make the situation worse. HR are not your friends.

Make a note of it to use in your salary negotiations. I deserve a pay rise because I am very valuable to the company. When I was away xyz happened. You were very pissed off, I remember. This sort of thing doesn't happen unless I am on annual leave.

Ridiculous post.

The boss email is outrageously rude and I professional.

The OP’s response is entirely normal.

Quit gaslighting.

Thats the way to do it! Very sensible going to ACAS and not the much misunderstood HR, who will do nothing but protect the company's interests, and will start preparing the manager's defence the minute the email drops.

@Briocche i am so sorry this happened to you.
in my experience (it’s quite sad that so many of us on here have experience of bad bosses) bully troll bitches like this actively look for things that go wrong because they just love being able to send these type of emails. They thrive on knowing the horrible panicky feeling one of their troll emails elicits. In my experience there is no changing their behaviour, you either have to detach & honestly just not care about your job (not great) or realise your self worth & get out of there when you can. The fact you’re checking in your leave time tells me how conscientious you are & I’m sure you’d be an asset anywhere else (but hard to feel that way when you’ve been conditioned by this frankly insane treatment by someone senior).
really hope you enjoy the rest of your leave, please think about popping together a CV!

Me too but to be honest, reading this thread may be the kick up the arse I need to look for another job. I like the people and the flexibility of my employer but I feel on edge most of the time when I think of work, especially when I wake at 4am...

I agree the email is very unprofessional but in 35 years professional experience, actually, it can get far worse than this.

In this time you come across plenty of very demanding, toxic and emotional bosses. I find the detachment method I described is the way I have found best to deal with it.

HR are not your friend: they are here to serve the needs of the business. They are not here to serve your needs. If the manager with the unprofessional attitude is valuable to the business they will give her a quick talking too, then you have a boss as your enemy for life and your position is even more untenable.

I can’t get over how many people check their work email when on holiday. Please stop doing this. We are not paid to look at emails when on holiday - doesn’t matter what position you are in the company, leave a decent handover, leave the office, OOO on.

I really feel for those living in fear of the shit that might happen while away from work. If this is the case, try to find another job. In many industries there are staff/skill shortages so take advantage of that.

Good luck OP💐

Start looking for another job and bring this email and any others to HR.

I had a line manager like this. She was vile all the time but particularly if I took leave. Her email to me after coming back from leave that tipped me over the edge claimed that I had exposed her and I was unacceptable. I used to use all my annual leave trying to decompress and then throwing up at the thought of returning.

Leave as soon as you can. Then she can be as pissed off all she likes.