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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed off at this

158 replies

Keolea · 22/08/2022 09:31

So I have been away for a few days, I work part time 3 days a week and it is the first time I have left the kids with DH. He called me this morning and said we needed a chat later as he cannot understand what I do on my days off and why I find it so hard?

OP posts:
Derbee · 23/08/2022 10:03

SummerLobelia · 23/08/2022 07:09

Everyone can stand down with their horror. (Although trust me I understand and he got the biggest fucking bollocking of his life). It was a massive wakeup call for DH and he has pulled his weight and then some since then. 12 years later and counting.

I think alot of people are shocked that anyone could find such an inept and uncaring man attractive, and continue building a life with them for years and years.

But each to their own.

Floweryflora · 23/08/2022 10:22

Keolea · 23/08/2022 08:41

I had my reasons, the phone was on through the car and I didn’t want to shout and wake everybody up, nothing odd about it.

why would you need to shout if it was on through the car and if on their way why would they both be asleep? It would have been worth checking with your husband if that was the case, as obviously they were not asleep.

Floweryflora · 23/08/2022 10:26

Op it’s not about right or wrong, you haven’t done anything wrong, but I’m wondering if you’re struggling a little. How old is your youngest? Is there a potential for pnd?

AhNowTed · 23/08/2022 10:26

Why do you keep asking yourself what you did wrong?

You didn't do anything wrong.

You dope of a husband has the gall to give you an appraisal!

Original poster
Keolea · 23/08/2022 10:28

No the people I was with were asleep!

OP posts:
VanillaParkersBowl · 23/08/2022 10:29

Feel like he just wants to make me feel bad!
Instead of trying to work out the ins and outs of what you said in your original post, start to think about this sentence more.

AhNowTed · 23/08/2022 10:40

VanillaParkersBowl · 23/08/2022 10:29

Feel like he just wants to make me feel bad!
Instead of trying to work out the ins and outs of what you said in your original post, start to think about this sentence more.

Nail on the head.

TXmum3 · 24/08/2022 20:22

Keolea · 22/08/2022 09:46

My kids seem to be harder for me to be honest. They are great for everybody else!

Even if he was able to do "everything" while he watched them doesn't give him permission to berate you. His ability to do it does not give him room to invalidate your experience.

  1. This is a one off for him. Anyone can do it one off or a few times if it's not their normal. You do this ALL. THE. TIME. Totally different, it's so much more difficult because you don't get to walk away from it like he does his job.
  2. Each person has their own capacity and margin to do something. Him being able to do everything doesn't mean you should have to be expected to carry that same load.
Praying for him to be considerate, caring and willing to understand it from a different angle.
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