Page 38 | Re children in restaurant

Arbesque · 2022-08-22T07:46:16+00:00

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30. About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us. One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on. We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing. We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill. AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this? We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

Original poster

Arbesque · 26/08/2022 10:50

rainbowmilk · 26/08/2022 10:22

My sister went to a pub today and sat in the outside dining area. A few boys were kicking a ball around out there and there was a near miss with it hitting the table, so my sister stood up and asked the boys to be more careful. Boys just ignored her. No sign of any parent at this point.

Next thing she knows it’s slammed into their table, spilling their drinks everywhere and into the food. My sister stood up and told the boys she’d told them to be more careful, at which point an irate mum appears and tells my sister off for disciplining her kids. My sister got the meal comped (entitled mare that she is!!!!!) and left, at which point the boys were kicking the ball at cars instead. This is the kind of thing that makes me really not keen to eat out in the UK. We’ve become so horribly entitled and everywhere that allows kids is like a zoo.

Unfortunately, as the poll here shows, there is a significant minority of parents who think this kind of behaviour is OK because kids should be welcomed everywhere no matter how they behave. And anyone who objects is a misery with their head up their arse.
It's depressing because their children will grow up knowing no better and the significant minority will become the loud majority.

OP posts:

feistyoneyouare · 26/08/2022 10:53

Pattycake2020 · 26/08/2022 04:37

Exactly what I was thinking. If you wanted a private meal then pay the money it costs for a restaurant who does private dinners. It’s a public space. Children shouldn’t be treated as burdens.

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Adults who want a grown-up evening out from time to time have the right to do exactly that. It's breathtakingly entitled to suggest they should pay out extra money for 'private dining' (whatever that means) just because some people think their children should be able to behave however they want in public at all times. There are plenty of family-oriented restaurants around that would have been more suitable. That isn't treating children like 'burdens', it's recognising that there are appropriate and inappropriate spaces for kids to be kids.

Original poster

Arbesque · 26/08/2022 11:58

Why do some people think that if you're in a public shared space then you can do anything you like? Surely you need to consider the people around you. I asked a girl aged about 11 once to stop shouting and yelling outside my house at 11 o clock at night. She informed me it was a public space. A self entitled brat being brought up that way by equally self entitled parents.

OP posts:

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 26/08/2022 12:47

Children shouldn’t be treated as burdens.

They're not if they behave. If they are slamming cutlery and crawling around other diners then they are a burden and it's down to the parents to actually parent them.

Classycatlady · 26/08/2022 13:29

You're not being unreasonable. I 100% get it! It's the same as when you go to the movie theatre for a clearly adult movie and there is a crying baby. Parents with children who don't know how to behave in a restaurant (the crawling behind your head is what got me) need to find a sitter if they want to go out. Unfortunately a lot of parents think everyone else thinks their children are as wonderful as they do. Families can go to nice restaurants but the kids need to be well behaved. When I was a kid we weren't allowed to act like this at home so we never did it in public. Kids are kids they won't behave in public if you don't make them behave at home. People will tell you to "get over it" but those are the people who likely have badly behaved children.

Classycatlady · 26/08/2022 13:34

Yes parents can have a meal out....get a sitter.

Jimzle · 26/08/2022 13:37

If you want a child free evening you cannot expect that in public. You need to have that nice quiet meal prepared at home. Raising kids is hard and there is no need to make it harder by acting like this. I think accepting free wine for a problem that's essentially a personal issue and not a problem they created was inappropriate given restaurants have been hit extremely hard by the pandemic. You are not entitled to child free experiences outside your home.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 26/08/2022 13:40

If you want a child free evening you cannot expect that in public. You need to have that nice quiet meal prepared at home. Raising kids is hard and there is no need to make it harder by acting like this.

Really? 😂

Freedomfighters · 26/08/2022 13:42

Jimzle · 26/08/2022 13:37

If you want a child free evening you cannot expect that in public. You need to have that nice quiet meal prepared at home. Raising kids is hard and there is no need to make it harder by acting like this. I think accepting free wine for a problem that's essentially a personal issue and not a problem they created was inappropriate given restaurants have been hit extremely hard by the pandemic. You are not entitled to child free experiences outside your home.

Wrong.

RampantIvy · 26/08/2022 13:45

Jimzle · 26/08/2022 13:37

If you want a child free evening you cannot expect that in public. You need to have that nice quiet meal prepared at home. Raising kids is hard and there is no need to make it harder by acting like this. I think accepting free wine for a problem that's essentially a personal issue and not a problem they created was inappropriate given restaurants have been hit extremely hard by the pandemic. You are not entitled to child free experiences outside your home.

It isn't unreasonable to expect other parents to parent their children.

We aren't talking about child free dining, but being free from annoying children because their parents won't parent them.

And if you think thst expectation is unreasonable then you are clearly one of those parents.

rainbowmilk · 26/08/2022 14:47

Raising kids is hard, but it is also a choice. You don’t get to go around not parenting, ruining people’s meals, then turning around and acting like you’re a charity and deserve everyone’s goodwill. If you’re finding parenting difficult at a particular time then it’s on you to stay at home, where the only people who’ll be impacted by that is you.

Victoriaplum81 · 26/08/2022 14:49

Arbesque · 26/08/2022 09:40

Could you elaborate?

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Kids make noise.
Parents are entitled to a meal out even with their kids… it’s not always possible to keep them quiet!
You sound very stuck up!

Victoriaplum81 · 26/08/2022 14:50

Classycatlady · 26/08/2022 13:34

Yes parents can have a meal out....get a sitter.

Not everyone has a sitter! Why should they?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 26/08/2022 14:52

You sound very stuck up!

You sound like the very epitome of the kind of parent that makes the rest of us cringe with embarrassment.

gatehouseoffleet · 26/08/2022 14:53

Victoriaplum81 · 26/08/2022 14:49

Kids make noise.
Parents are entitled to a meal out even with their kids… it’s not always possible to keep them quiet!
You sound very stuck up!

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Unless they are neuro-diverse or extremely young, it is absolutely possible to keep them quiet(ish). If you can't, you go to family friendly places/outdoor spaces. it's not about people being stuck up, it's about parents thinking about the impact their family's behaviour has on others, and acting with consideration.

Victoriaplum81 · 26/08/2022 14:54

YetAnotherSpartacus · 26/08/2022 14:52

You sound very stuck up!

You sound like the very epitome of the kind of parent that makes the rest of us cringe with embarrassment.

No I have a 3.5 year old son who is usually very well behaved but sometimes we go out to eat and I do my best to entertain him and he still kicks off! Tbf I would do my best to control this and apologise to other diners but OP’s post just came across really judgemental! Being a parent is bloody hard and sometimes kids are naughty and other people judging just makes it so much harder!

oiltrader · 26/08/2022 15:08

at least the cost of living crisis will keep kids out of restaurants.. every cloud has a silver lining i suppose

lickenchugget · 26/08/2022 15:09

Victoriaplum81 · 26/08/2022 14:54

No I have a 3.5 year old son who is usually very well behaved but sometimes we go out to eat and I do my best to entertain him and he still kicks off! Tbf I would do my best to control this and apologise to other diners but OP’s post just came across really judgemental! Being a parent is bloody hard and sometimes kids are naughty and other people judging just makes it so much harder!

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If they’re naughty, noisy and disruptive and in a nice restaurant, you take them out, it’s simples.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 26/08/2022 15:11

Victoriaplum81 · 26/08/2022 14:54

No I have a 3.5 year old son who is usually very well behaved but sometimes we go out to eat and I do my best to entertain him and he still kicks off! Tbf I would do my best to control this and apologise to other diners but OP’s post just came across really judgemental! Being a parent is bloody hard and sometimes kids are naughty and other people judging just makes it so much harder!

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So you ask for your food to be bagged and leave, in that case. Judgement over.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 26/08/2022 15:12

So you ask for your food to be bagged and leave, in that case. Judgement over.

Exactly.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 26/08/2022 15:12

rainbowmilk · 26/08/2022 14:47

Raising kids is hard, but it is also a choice. You don’t get to go around not parenting, ruining people’s meals, then turning around and acting like you’re a charity and deserve everyone’s goodwill. If you’re finding parenting difficult at a particular time then it’s on you to stay at home, where the only people who’ll be impacted by that is you.

I agree!

lickenchugget · 26/08/2022 15:13

And apologising to people doesn’t work, they don’t want apologies, they want peace.

rainbowmilk · 26/08/2022 15:16

lickenchugget · 26/08/2022 15:13

And apologising to people doesn’t work, they don’t want apologies, they want peace.

Agree. If anything it’s annoying as it feels like I have to say “oh no problem” even when it actually is a problem and I wish they’d just leave. I had this once with a woman walking her toddler around and around my table because “otherwise she’ll run around” - she apologised about six times and I wanted to tell her to stop it as she clearly wasn’t sorry!

Original poster

Arbesque · 26/08/2022 15:18

Jimzle · 26/08/2022 13:37

If you want a child free evening you cannot expect that in public. You need to have that nice quiet meal prepared at home. Raising kids is hard and there is no need to make it harder by acting like this. I think accepting free wine for a problem that's essentially a personal issue and not a problem they created was inappropriate given restaurants have been hit extremely hard by the pandemic. You are not entitled to child free experiences outside your home.

Where did I say I wanted a child free evening?

And if people are concerned about restaurants post pandemic then don't behave with no consideration for the other diners.

OP posts:

FatEaredFuck · 26/08/2022 15:25

I'll be damned if I constrict my children's lives through a pandemic, keep them shut away to then adhere to "children should be seen and not heard".

There are plenty of loud noisy patrons of all ages.