Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

Do you not have children?! Let others live. Children are unpredictable, do you feel this family can’t have a night out with their children?

Unless you're bringing up the future Mozart, yours will be much the same as the rest, no matter what you may claim..

Well, actually, that’s a terrible example because it’s thought that Mozart had a form of ADHD and would no doubt not have sat still in a restaurant.

It doesn’t sound like you’ve had much experience of non child-friendly restaurants or travel. Yes, many young children struggle sitting still. But plenty of others are quieter, more thoughtful children who prefer looking at picture books with a parent to tearing round climbing on things. They don’t have to be geniuses either, it’s just their nature.

Can't people have a night out without having children crawling around their heads.

Not at a high end restaurant, no. Honestly I’m not even sure this would be OK at Pizza Hut but it’d be better than somewhere really expensive.

Bloody hell, the entitlement of some people on this thread. And judging by some of these comments, it's so wonder so many children are badly behaved/poorly socialised.

Not everywhere is, or should be, child-friendly. And I have my doubts about this whole 'in Mediterranean cultures children are welcomed and behave like beautiful darlings at all times' trope, I'm sure it's true some of the time, but not all. It's just not possible.

Of course kids are kids, and very young ones can't be expected not to make noise or mess, but not every public space is obliged to welcome this or even cater to it. Adults (both those who have DC and those who don't) are entitled to some child-free time in a child-free environment every now and then, especially if they're paying a lot to have a special evening out.

Where did anyone say they can't have a night out without their children?

Not when they're wrecking other people's nights in order to achieve that no. Go to Mcdonald's or pizza hut if your child behaves like that, or better still, stay at home.

Also meant to say - people are not obliged to 'engage' with other people's children. This is just shorthand for lazy parenting, i.e. 'I'm entitled to a break from watching my child, so the other adults here can entertain him/her for a bit.'

And (sad though I am to say it), in today's world, is it even a good idea to give small children the idea that engaging with strangers is a safe and appropriate thing to do?

@feistyoneyouare

Exactly.

But in this much cited Mediterranean culture children sit for long family meals from babyhood, it's the norm whereas many kids I know are fed separate food at a separate time from even their parents so how can they learn to behave at the table? Mine sat in the high chair with us nightly from 6 months (prior mostly on my lap being fed) and ate the same food. They always ate at 6.30/7 with us too (kids don't need to eat at 5).

You can't expect British kids brought up differently to magically behave like others when you go out!

I don’t think it’s okay anywhere. Our local pizza express is a riot and has to be avoided at all times as people seem to think it’s ok to let their kids run wild and shout as ‘it’s just pizza express’. The staff look close to tears at all times.

I had a friend who used to let her toddler wander around cafes and stuff when we met up, on the basis that nobody could possibly ignore such a cute little one. I lost count of how many times strangers brought him back to our table and she’d beam as if she’d given them an experience they’d never forget. It was mortifying and I stopped going with her when she had her second DC.

No, indeed. I posted upthread about the local cafe which has gone the same way. Wonderful place and I’d love to sit in but it’s been commandeered and now resembles a soft play for the most part.

Exactly!

I used to like going to Pizza Express, but we stopped years ago. Lots of middle class people think it is fine for their kids to behave badly there as the cost is peanuts to them. They would not allow it anywhere that is expensive for them. No one else matters of course.

I don’t really go there but I’ve heard people at work say it’s weird that people without kids go there, so clearly I’ve missed a memo that Pizza Express is only for families.

Your doubts are correct. Children in Spain behave like any other kids. They are more used to going out in family units, but the kind of restaurants families go to usually have a terrace or play area or square or something where kids can play. They're are kids here who shout and run about on the bus, teenagers who behave like teens do everywhere, small kids who are totally hyper. I don't know why people think European kids are so well behaved to be honest. I've heard French kids are, but that probably not true either 😂

That's quite a few conjectures you made there. I've lived in three different countries and travelled fairly extensively, as well as eaten at a variety of restaurants ranging from Pizza Express to Michelin Star restaurants, so nice try on your passive aggression there, but no cigar 😂 I also did part of my degree in early years childhood education and taught that age for a few years before moving into a different field - journalism, where I worked for an in-house magazine as a hotel and restaurant reviewer 😁
Just shows probably best to not make assumptions about someone just because you may not agree with what they say.

As is evident by some of the responses on here, some people seem to develop a sort of blindness when they have children, and think it's up to the other party to be tolerant rather than up to them to control their kids.
I always wonder if posters such as @Username917778 or @DSGR were as tolerant before they had children and would have happily sat next to a creche and paid handsomely for the privilege of doing so. I suspect not although they will no doubt disagree.
As is often said, you may find your child adorable and cute, it's unlikely the rest of the world will.
If this was a family restaurant, people need to be more tolerant, though I would draw a line at some of the behavior mentioned here, but the OP specifically said this, was an expensive restaurant and I would bet good money the OP wasn't the only one irritated by this. I know I would have been.

It is not great for babies and toddlers to be out for dinner at 7;30 p.m (close to bedtime surely, so likely to be tired and cranky); especially at restaurants that don't really cater for children. It occurs to me that maybe these parents has lined up a babysitter, who cancelled at the last minute; and decided to go anyway and take the children. If this is really their idea of a normal family outing, it's a bit bizarre; and not very considerate of either the children, or obviously everyone else in the restaurant.

You need to get your head out of your bottom!

Ok, fair enough maybe I misunderstood your OP and I do agree it seems a bit late for a baby & toddler to be out (maybe why they were so cross & playing up).
i don’t have any suggestions for you other than what others have said- I’m not a ‘foodie’ at all and don’t drink anymore so I defo wouldn’t be spending that amount of money on an evening out- but at least you got your bottle of wine for free?

hope your next evening out is a bit more pleasant 🥰

it's insane how many people are defending the family's behaviour....i teach my children table manners and dinner appropriate behaviour at home, and when they are well rehearsed, then i will take them to a fancy place....expensive restaurants are really not ideal for babies and toddlers....hate me for my opinion, i don't care, i would really rather enjoy my time out, even with my kiddos, when i know it will go well....my kiddos have never acted up in a store or restaurant, because they were taught etiquette from a very young age...if they want to be rowdy, we'll go to a park

the OP had every right to expect a pleasant evening out at a nice place without kids crawling all around her 🤷🏻‍♀️

This thread is on Bored Panda

www.boredpanda.com/children-ruin-expensive-fancy-restaurant-meal/

A variation on being picked up by the Daily Mail at least.