Feel a bit shakey after ds 10s behaviour

[BearGryllsDad]

For reasons I won't go into I had to take the DCs into town with me to do some exercise. Afterward I took them into M and S as I wanted to check out the sale and get the kids a meal in the cafe (kids eat free, or one does anyway). I have never heard so much moaning and playing up as this from ds who is 10 nearly 11. At one point he was crying because he finished his food and leave even though I still had food on my plate and my drink. His little brother was happily entertaining himself, but ds was making a scene to the extent some people were noticing.

Then whilst I had a quick look arousnd the sale items, mum, mum, mum I want to go. Mum, mum, mum. You said one shop. And on and on he went. I told him to give me five minutes, but he couldn't. At one point he lay on the floor feigning something. He started winding up his younger brother calling him a weirdo and sniggering at him. Pointing out pink t shirts and saying they were for him. In the end I told him to stop as he was being infuriating. I didn't loose my temper and kept it together. But I am sitting at home feeling an angry, shakey mess. I've even had a few tears. I often feels like he tries to control things and play up if we have to run errands or so something that is not centered around him. As soon as he gets home he plugs into YouTube and that may be part of the problem. I know m and s is boring but should he be able to tolerate 30 minutes of boredom at his age without making such an embarrassing scene?

So desperate for an argument Kanaloa. At no point did I say mum can never enjoy anything. I said not to set her kid up to fail. It’s bizarre that’s so contentious to you.

So what if the OP wanted to browse?
That doesn’t give him a reason for his frankly childish behaviour, he’s 10 ffs not 3!
I would have be absolutely furious if my DS had ever behaved like this!

Are you ten?

Lucky you! This kid can’t

Can't???

How about doesn't want to? That's a bit closer to the reality. Of course he CAN, he just wanted to get home to his screen.

Are 10 year olds 2?

Did. Once. May not do again because he wasn't given in to and learnt that there's no percentage in it.
If you always take the line of least resistance, Pumper, your children may not be as pleasant to be around as you fondly imagine.

Not contentious, just ridiculous to say that expecting a boy of almost 11 to behave in a socially acceptable way is ‘setting him up to fail’ and the only possible solution is to make sure he never feels bored or annoyed, by stopping doing things that you enjoy if he kicks off. You’re being silly.

No, they’re not. This particular ten year old tantrums though. So the OP can either work with that, or continue to bore him shitless then punish him.

No, you’re being silly (or just can’t understand very well) because at no point did I say he should never be bored.

This 10 year old is NT and presumably goes to school where he sits for an hour or two at a time without crying and rolling around on the floor. Life doesn’t work around individuals unless they have SEN. You’re setting your kids up to fail in the adult world if you teach them that it does.

I don’t imagine anyone wants my kids on the floor in M&S. Well, let’s see what he does next time then.

He won’t sit for an hour plus cafe time plus sale time at school. So that’s a false comparison.

Bore him shitless by taking him for lunch 😂 gosh there are some pandering parents around these days aren’t there.

Did you miss the hit about the forty minute exercise plus cafe or……?

Plus sale!

Are you deliberately ignoring the ref of the day?

Oh shit I forgot about the sale 😱 the sale! How could I forget the sale! Basically making them watch a 6 hour chess tournament followed by making them read War and Peace before bed. Mental torture in my opinion.

🙄

What an odd response to the idea of working with your kid.

Bless him he has no tact.

I remember as a child the utter boredom of standing around waiting while my mother clothes browsed.

I learnt very quickly that the best way to get her out of their quickly was to be excited by the clothes and run ahead and call her over to see the item. Then ahead again lol. Essentially willing her through the shop towards the exit.

I think that worked twice. 🤣 She very quickly figured out what I was up to!

It is not acceptable behaviour.
I would turn off whatever he is watching and tell him that was not acceptable.
no more screen time tonight and await the apology, might not be until tomorrow. But no privileges until he states that he understands that was not acceptable. You don’t need that sort of behaviour in your life.

He's normal. And annoying. But normal. I meqn that in a reassuring way. I am sure you are trying to teach him patience like we all do with ur kids but sadly they're really selfish and cheeky at times! I am sure he is not Always like that though. Lost it at mine yesterday too. Bring on September..

I am not gonna RTFT becauese I don't want to read any holier than thou parents talking about how well they discipline their own children.

Really ? No way would I consider this normal behaviour. He's old enough to conduct himself properly, without the histrionics. I agree with others here, the dreaded YouTube needs curtailing.

Stop trailing him around to exercise plus cafe plus sale. ‘And’ is a connective.

I probably wouldn't browse the sales with kids in tow because quite frankly it's boring for them. Especially as son already seemed tired.