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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with DP because he didn't order me a pizza?

408 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 03:26

DP and I weren't planning to see each other this weekend as we just spent a week together and he left to go home earlier this week, so we were going to see each other next weekend.

However, DP arranged a night out with his friends to watch the boxing match (his friends live close to where I live so they often go out in a town that's a lot closer to my house than his own) and subsequently realised that the trains were striking. He said he could get out to the town he was meeting his mates in by bus, but asked me if he could crash at mine tonight after the night out, as my house is in walking distance from the town whereas to get back to his own house without a train would take ages.

I agreed to him staying here. We talked on the phone before he went out and he said he was planning on getting a takeaway pizza on way home. I said I really fancied a pizza and he said he would get me one too. I told him what I wanted and asked him to get potato wedges, garlic dip etc...I was really looking forward to it. I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out. I didn't eat much all evening, in expectation of the pizza.

Anyway, at about 11:30 I felt quite tired so laid down, and actually ended up falling asleep. I was woken up at 3am when DP arrived back from night out. He came in and didn't have any pizza with him so I said 'where's the pizza?' He said 'oh, well I've ordered myself one, its on its way.' I said 'what about mine?' He said 'well I called you to see if you were awake and you didn't answer so I assumed you were asleep and didn't get you one.'

I'm actually really pissed off. It was a firm agreement that he was bringing back pizza for both of us, he knew I was excited about it, I had given him my order of what I wanted...even though I was asleep and didn't answer, AIBU to expect him get me a pizza anyway, thinking I probably would wake up, be hungry and want the pizza I was promised, like I have done!? Or am I being pathetic to be so pissed off with him?

He's now downstairs enjoying his pizza that arrived two mins ago while I lay on my bed hungry and annoyed!

OP posts:
MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 21/08/2022 07:58

CecilyP · 21/08/2022 07:53

No, she’s not. I can’t be the only one on this thread who thought the same. Might not have said anything but definitely had thoughts.

Show quote history

Tenbob listing the calorie content of an imaginary meal, then advance searching op to prove an eating problem and the way she paints a revolting picture is not someone that has a healthy relationship with food.

It also makes it worse if op also has an issue as tenbob is seeking to shame op, which we all know is an effective way of helping someone with a problem...

figmaofmyimagination · 21/08/2022 07:58

The thought of ordering and eating a pizza at 3am is baffling enough to me, never mind being woken up for one!

I think YABU, sorry. He tried to check if you’d still want it and (correctly) deduced you were asleep.

takealettermsjones · 21/08/2022 07:59

Everyone saying there isn’t anything wrong with OPs eating might want to do a quick advanced search of OPs name and read her posts in the ‘failed diet’ thread where she talks about her compulsive overeating and how unhappy she is about it, and how concerned her GP is about it

And you think listing the calories of her meal is going to help with this? Or have you just decided that's the perfect way to stick the boot in?

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 21/08/2022 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CecilyP · 21/08/2022 08:00

I’m off to enjoy my breakfast now

Bet you’re glad that’s it anything but a box of cold greasy congealed pizz!

jadedspark · 21/08/2022 08:01

Personally I would have rather slept and I wouldn't want cold pizza for breakfast.

Why couldn't he have ordered you one afterwards though?

Justleaveitblankthen · 21/08/2022 08:01

As a kind gesture for being able to 'crash' at yours for the night, he should have got you a Pizza and left a note on top for morning.
I would have saved it for my evening meal the next day personally.

TypeMite · 21/08/2022 08:02

YABU

But I would have reacted the same way as you, I get unreasonable around food too!

StClare101 · 21/08/2022 08:03

He tried to check with you given how late he was. No, I wouldn’t be upset.

Rowen32 · 21/08/2022 08:05

I really wouldn't expect anyone to bring me pizza at that hour when I've fallen asleep... I'd have been ringing him earlier on in the evening wondering what the story was and would have text saying I was going to lie down and did or didn't want the pizza still..
Really wouldn't expect someone to still want pizza at 3am if I couldn't contact them..
But it all sounds a bit silly, was it always the plan he wouldn't be home until that hour? Were you really going to stay up until 3am waiting for pizza if so?

MiddleParking · 21/08/2022 08:08

The whole plan was a bit daft - if he was going out to watch boxing (which starts late at night and finishes in the small hours) you weren’t realistically going to have a cosy pizza night together afterwards. Night out food should stay in the realm of the night out anyway imo - some pizza can be eaten for breakfast but not night out pizza, that’s just wrong.

Sparkletastic · 21/08/2022 08:08

Getting your own pizza and not consuming it an ungodly hour would have been a better plan.

clpsmum · 21/08/2022 08:08

Why would you want pizza at 3am when you've been sat at home. I think YABU why didn't you just go to bed. He called and you were asleep! If it means that much to you why couldn't you order your own pizza?

plantseverywhere · 21/08/2022 08:09

@tenbob i actually do have an eating disorder which I am in recovery from and if you posted these comments on my thread it would send me into such a spiral.

What is wrong with you?

Thatswhyimacat · 21/08/2022 08:10

I think it is normal to assume you wouldn't want a pizza if you've gone to sleep. Next day potato wedges would be especially gross!

BigFatLiar · 21/08/2022 08:11

I'd be more annoyed at being woken at 3am.

jusdepamplemousse · 21/08/2022 08:13

why didn’t you order your own dinner to eat at a normal sort of time? Surely he was always going to be at least quite late.

if my other half asking that I bring their dinner home from a night out I’d be a bit perplexed.

basically it was all a bad idea to begin with surely. (any chance he might feel like you were trying to manoeuvre him into coming home early? sorry if that’s a bit harsh but I think I might have felt that way in his shoes.)

SalmonEile · 21/08/2022 08:14

Why do people keep talking about “cold pizza” for breakfast ,
Microwaves and ovens exist you reheat the pizza and eat it , and it doesn’t even have to be for breakfast it can be for lunch or even dinner!! Imagine! Especially as OP is Vegetarian there’s no meat to worry about

The problem here I think is that the DP said he’d do something and then didn’t but still looked after himself and if they lived together it would be one thing but he was just using the OPs place to stay in after a night out with friends
OP was probably excited to see him for a bit and have the pizza but he ended up coming home much later than expected and then didn’t bring the pizza she’d asked for
Personally I think if you’ve arranged to bring something and you can’t get in touch with the person you still do it. Especially if you’re still getting one for yourself
Even if the OP was fast asleep the pizza could be eaten the next day and be fine

Andromachehadabadday · 21/08/2022 08:14

I think yabu. He called you were asleep. He made an assumption. Now he knows that it doesn’t matter if you are asleep, you still want food.

if you really wanted pizza and sides, I am not sure why you just didn’t order your own earlier in the evening, rather than waiting for him to come back.

Vapeyvapevape · 21/08/2022 08:14

Complete lack of communication by both of you, he should have said he wouldn't be back til the early hours and you should have let him know you were going to bed but to wake you up.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 21/08/2022 08:14

YABU. If he'd have come in at 10/11 then I'd have not you weren't unreasonable. But it was 3am, he tried to call and you were asleep. Why didn't you just order yourself one when you realised he hadn't got you one? I'm sure you know how to.

mountainsunsets · 21/08/2022 08:15

I think once it got to 11ish you should have rung him, said you were ordering yours as you were starving, and asked if he wanted you to order his to leave out for when he gets home.

YABU to expect him to know you still wanted pizza when you were fast asleep at 3am.

FirewomanSam · 21/08/2022 08:16

Can’t believe all the YABU votes! This isn’t about whether other people would want to eat pizza at 3am, it’s about the fact that you’d specifically asked for something and he didn’t get it. Even if you were asleep and didn’t want it, you could have had it the next day. I wouldn’t dream of deciding ‘oh they probably don’t want it now’ if I had promised to get someone something.

And I have had pizza delivered at 5am before 😳 back in my youthful drinking heyday that was very normal! It’s not unusual at all (whether is a good idea or a healthy thing to do is another matter, but it’s certainly not unusual!)

fufflecake · 21/08/2022 08:19

Why do people keep talking about “cold pizza” for breakfast cold pizza is amazing for breakfast

NewPapaGuinea · 21/08/2022 08:20

Skipping dinner to wait for a 3am pizza? YABU