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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with DP because he didn't order me a pizza?

408 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 03:26

DP and I weren't planning to see each other this weekend as we just spent a week together and he left to go home earlier this week, so we were going to see each other next weekend.

However, DP arranged a night out with his friends to watch the boxing match (his friends live close to where I live so they often go out in a town that's a lot closer to my house than his own) and subsequently realised that the trains were striking. He said he could get out to the town he was meeting his mates in by bus, but asked me if he could crash at mine tonight after the night out, as my house is in walking distance from the town whereas to get back to his own house without a train would take ages.

I agreed to him staying here. We talked on the phone before he went out and he said he was planning on getting a takeaway pizza on way home. I said I really fancied a pizza and he said he would get me one too. I told him what I wanted and asked him to get potato wedges, garlic dip etc...I was really looking forward to it. I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out. I didn't eat much all evening, in expectation of the pizza.

Anyway, at about 11:30 I felt quite tired so laid down, and actually ended up falling asleep. I was woken up at 3am when DP arrived back from night out. He came in and didn't have any pizza with him so I said 'where's the pizza?' He said 'oh, well I've ordered myself one, its on its way.' I said 'what about mine?' He said 'well I called you to see if you were awake and you didn't answer so I assumed you were asleep and didn't get you one.'

I'm actually really pissed off. It was a firm agreement that he was bringing back pizza for both of us, he knew I was excited about it, I had given him my order of what I wanted...even though I was asleep and didn't answer, AIBU to expect him get me a pizza anyway, thinking I probably would wake up, be hungry and want the pizza I was promised, like I have done!? Or am I being pathetic to be so pissed off with him?

He's now downstairs enjoying his pizza that arrived two mins ago while I lay on my bed hungry and annoyed!

OP posts:
rwalker · 21/08/2022 06:11

I would of done exactly the same as him
he did think of you he did try and contact you
if someone doesn’t answer at 3am it’s completely normal to assume there in bed asleep and wouldn’t want to be woken up for pizza dip and wedges

were you pissed off at him going out and staying at yours and just looking for something to have a go at him

Sparklfairy · 21/08/2022 06:15

If id made an agreement to get you pizza, I'd still have got it even if you were asleep as it would still be fine better the next day. It was an awkward time but its not like it would go to waste by sticking to the agreement!

Collidascope · 21/08/2022 06:15

Oh I'd be fuming! Am very prone to hangriness though. You'd agreed he'd get it for you and even if you hadn't fancied it at 3am, pizza can be heated up. Plus it sounds like he woke you when he came in so the least he could do is give you the food he'd said he'd bring.

KatherineJaneway · 21/08/2022 06:17

YABU. He called you, you didn't answer so he assumed you were asleep and wouldn't want pizza. Not an unreasonable assumption.

Why didn't you just order yourself pizza once you realised he didn't get you one, rather than laying on your bed hungry and annoyed?

Undertheoldlindentree · 21/08/2022 06:18

Bonkers for anyone to eat pizza at 3am. But if you must, just order your own. Crazy to get worked up over this. Think your DP was sensible to assume you were asleep and wouldn't want to be woken for pizza and garlic wedges.

Quincythequince · 21/08/2022 06:32

If someone woke me at 3am with pizza, wedges and Dip at 3am, I’d throw up.

Did you know what time the fight was on, yet you still wanted to eat when he got back?

Shoxfordian · 21/08/2022 06:33

He probably reasonably thought you were asleep and wouldn’t want to be woken that late for a pizza- did you order yourself one separately?

BarrelOfOtters · 21/08/2022 06:39

Newmumatlast · 21/08/2022 06:05

Where do you live that places are still open for pizza to be ordered and delivered after 3am?

i live in the arse end of nowhere and you can very easily get a pizza at 3am. Not one I’d like to eat, nut you can get one.

VacayingInTheHamptons · 21/08/2022 06:39

I would have presumed you wouldn’t have wanted one at 3am as well.

Couldn’t one of you have phoned and added to his order? Do places really deliver pizza at 3am?

I can’t imagine being woken up at 3am and wanting to eat. Regardless, you sound like you’re now sulking which is I do think is pathetic.

Mindymomo · 21/08/2022 07:10

Over the 32 years married, DH now says don’t worry about food I’ll sort myself out. That way I sort my own food, especially when you don’t know what time they are coming home.

fufflecake · 21/08/2022 07:13

He tried his best, you were asleep so he had to make a decision.

fufflecake · 21/08/2022 07:13

VacayingInTheHamptons · 21/08/2022 06:39

I would have presumed you wouldn’t have wanted one at 3am as well.

Couldn’t one of you have phoned and added to his order? Do places really deliver pizza at 3am?

I can’t imagine being woken up at 3am and wanting to eat. Regardless, you sound like you’re now sulking which is I do think is pathetic.

Yeah I agree

fufflecake · 21/08/2022 07:14

It's just one of those things. Get over it and enjoy your day

SugarNspices · 21/08/2022 07:17

Who wants to eat a pizza at 3am unless you've just got in from a night out

Oysterbabe · 21/08/2022 07:21

Newmumatlast · 21/08/2022 06:05

Where do you live that places are still open for pizza to be ordered and delivered after 3am?

Our dominos is open until 5am.

I don't think he did anything wrong. He tried to call, you were asleep, he reasonably assumed you wouldn't want to be woken for pizza because that's weird.

tenbob · 21/08/2022 07:26

I’m trying to find a nice way to phrase this, but do you have issues around food and over eating?

I can’t think of anyone who would want to be woken up at 3am to an entire pizza plus greasy fatty sides, scoff them and go back to sleep.

And he didn’t offer to share a slice of his pizza?

ClemFandangoCanYouHearMe · 21/08/2022 07:30

Did you have to wake up anyway to let him in? If do, and he knew you would have to do that, he definitely should have brought you a pizza - even if you only wanted it for breakfast.

MumUndone · 21/08/2022 07:30

You'd gone to sleep. He got home at 3am... and you still wanted your pizza evening? Odd.

20viona · 21/08/2022 07:32

A- you were asleep
B- you could have shared surely
C- who wants to eat pizza at that hour 😂

BellePeppa · 21/08/2022 07:32

I’m just impressed you can order, and have delivered, pizza through the night. Our local pizza deliveries are shut by midnight (or earlier).

20viona · 21/08/2022 07:32

I stand corrected on B as you're veggie

lickenchugget · 21/08/2022 07:34

Yabu - He rang you as it was late to see if you still wanted pizza and you didn’t answer and were asleep.

Struggling to see why he would still then order you a pizza at 3am.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 21/08/2022 07:35

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Arewethebadguys · 21/08/2022 07:36

You sound intense. Order your own pizza. You're not incapable

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 21/08/2022 07:37

I think YABU. Would you have had your dinner at 3am?? He rang to check if you were awake and still wanted pizza but you were asleep so probably assumed you wouldn't want to be woken to eat and wouldn't want to waste money.

Since you'd been looking forward to it i would just be telling him he owes you one tomorrow since you can't share his.