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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with DP because he didn't order me a pizza?

408 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 03:26

DP and I weren't planning to see each other this weekend as we just spent a week together and he left to go home earlier this week, so we were going to see each other next weekend.

However, DP arranged a night out with his friends to watch the boxing match (his friends live close to where I live so they often go out in a town that's a lot closer to my house than his own) and subsequently realised that the trains were striking. He said he could get out to the town he was meeting his mates in by bus, but asked me if he could crash at mine tonight after the night out, as my house is in walking distance from the town whereas to get back to his own house without a train would take ages.

I agreed to him staying here. We talked on the phone before he went out and he said he was planning on getting a takeaway pizza on way home. I said I really fancied a pizza and he said he would get me one too. I told him what I wanted and asked him to get potato wedges, garlic dip etc...I was really looking forward to it. I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out. I didn't eat much all evening, in expectation of the pizza.

Anyway, at about 11:30 I felt quite tired so laid down, and actually ended up falling asleep. I was woken up at 3am when DP arrived back from night out. He came in and didn't have any pizza with him so I said 'where's the pizza?' He said 'oh, well I've ordered myself one, its on its way.' I said 'what about mine?' He said 'well I called you to see if you were awake and you didn't answer so I assumed you were asleep and didn't get you one.'

I'm actually really pissed off. It was a firm agreement that he was bringing back pizza for both of us, he knew I was excited about it, I had given him my order of what I wanted...even though I was asleep and didn't answer, AIBU to expect him get me a pizza anyway, thinking I probably would wake up, be hungry and want the pizza I was promised, like I have done!? Or am I being pathetic to be so pissed off with him?

He's now downstairs enjoying his pizza that arrived two mins ago while I lay on my bed hungry and annoyed!

OP posts:
Musti · 21/08/2022 08:44

It is weird that you didn’t get yourself one and went to bed hungry and then still wanted pizza at 3am. Why couldn’t he have ordered another pizza for you once he realised you still wanted it. I’m happy to eat cold pizza the next day so even if I had been asleep, it wouldn’t have gone to waste.

I can see both sides tbh.

Sparklfairy · 21/08/2022 08:45

This reply has been deleted

Deleted for quoting a deleted post.

Thats pretty judgemental. I'd be disappointed too if I was told he'd be bringing pizza but didnt. I may or may not eat some at 3am and I'm willing to bet that my 25 inch waist is smaller than 99%+ of the sneering posters here Hmm

Treabrea · 21/08/2022 08:46

I'm a fan of a 3am pizza when I've been out but I wouldn't be pleased to be woken up at that time by a presumably inebriated bloke clutching a veggie supreme and some chips.

HermioneKipper · 21/08/2022 08:47

I’m with you. I’d be annoyed at missing out on pizza especially as it had been arranged. What if you’d been engrossed in a film and missed the call!

cheeky bugger staying at yours with no pizza for you 😡

gamerchick · 21/08/2022 08:50

tenbob · 21/08/2022 07:40

Sorry but it is just not normal to eat a pizza and cold wedges etc for breakfast

that sounds like some seriously messed up eating habits to try and justify it as the thing to do

The meal OP described having agreed she would have sounds like it would be around 2000 calories. That is the sort of thing which should be an absolute occasional treat, not a ‘oh you were asleep, but have this plate of grease slops for breakfast instead’

It also sounds like OP has got a really unhealthy relationship with food to be cross about not having it. I think most people would say ‘oh well, I’ve missed out of a cheap nasty pizza in the middle of the night. Probably a good thing, I’ll be able to sleep better and not wake up feeling awful.’

being annoyed, upset, cross about it is weird unless you have a strange relationship with food

Show quote history

I don't know what's more strange about your post. Banging on about calories or saying it's not normal to eat pizza the next day Hmm

CecilyP · 21/08/2022 08:52

SalmonEile · Today 08:14
Why do people keep talking about “cold pizza” for breakfast ,

Microwaves and ovens exist you reheat the pizza and eat it , and it doesn’t even have to be for breakfast it can be for lunch or even dinner!! Imagine! Especially as OP is Vegetarian there’s no meat to worry about

Yeah, but warmed up pizza isn’t that nice. I’ve warmed up the odd slice but more because I hate waste than for enjoyment.

RewildingAmbridge · 21/08/2022 08:54

This was never going to work, the boxing didn't even start until 11pm , he was never going to be home before the early hours! I also wouldn't want DH to order me a Luca in the middle of the night for me to have at left overs the next day, I'll order a pizza that's just been cooked thanks!
Get yourself a pizza today if you want one.

alwaysmovingforwards · 21/08/2022 08:58

RewildingAmbridge · 21/08/2022 08:54

This was never going to work, the boxing didn't even start until 11pm , he was never going to be home before the early hours! I also wouldn't want DH to order me a Luca in the middle of the night for me to have at left overs the next day, I'll order a pizza that's just been cooked thanks!
Get yourself a pizza today if you want one.

Exactly.
Personally I'd have eaten my dinner, gone to bed and then arranged to go for brunch this morning.
Buying a pizza in the middle of the night to then have next morning?!?
Personally I couldn't think of anything more rank for breakfast. Maybe I would have as l a drunk / hungover / impoverished student. But even then I higher standards than that 😂

takealettermsjones · 21/08/2022 09:00

Why do people keep talking about “cold pizza” for breakfast

Microwaves and ovens exist you reheat the pizza and eat it, and it doesn’t even have to be for breakfast it can be for lunch or even dinner!! Imagine! Especially as OP is Vegetarian there’s no meat to worry about

If it's for lunch/dinner the next day why does it need to be there at 3am? She can just order one the next day?

MrsLighthouse · 21/08/2022 09:00

I’d be furious if a tipsy partner woke me up at 3am ….and l certainly wouldn’t want to get into a drunken conversation with them, even for Pizza ! Missing out would be on my mind though and l’d probably order one the next day for lunch ! 🍕

CecilyP · 21/08/2022 09:02

FirewomanSam · Today 08:16
Can’t believe all the YABU votes! This isn’t about whether other people would want to eat pizza at 3am, it’s about the fact that you’d specifically asked for something and he didn’t get it. Even if you were asleep and didn’t want it, you could have had it the next day. I wouldn’t dream of deciding ‘oh they probably don’t want it now’ if I had promised to get someone something.

I would! I’d have used my initiative to divert from the original plan. Perhaps he doesn’t yet know OP well enough yet to know she’s partial to a 3 am pizza!

CornishGem1975 · 21/08/2022 09:04

All this pizza talk is making me hungry. Definitely ordering one for dinner tonight. OP I suggest you do the same and move on.

KilmordenCastle · 21/08/2022 09:07

I think this is is all a bit bonkers tbh. If my dh said he was going out to watch boxing and getting a pizza on the way home then I would say "OK, enjoy". Not a chance would I want to wait to eat pizza when he got in at silly o clock in the morning.

Why didn't you just have dinner at a normal time? If you fancied pizza after talking about pizza then you could have ordered it for yourself for your dinner. Or, rather than not eating and waiting for him to bring pizza, you could have had dinner and asked him to call you when he was coming home to see if you were still awake and fancied some pizza.

It was all just such a terrible idea imo. Your dp was right to assume that you wouldn't want pizza while you were sleeping at 3am. He probably assumed you'd actually eaten something and the pizza was supposed to just be a late night snack if you were still up. Yabu.

WilsonMilson · 21/08/2022 09:12

Who wants pizza at 3am? Or 11pm to be honest. Bizarre.

IsThereALimitToTheLengthOfUsernames48Characters · 21/08/2022 09:13

Was there a rough idea of what time your DP would be arriving home? Because this, for me, is crucial in considering who was being unreasonable. If he said 'I won't be in until about 2.30/3.00. Do you want me to order pizza for you?', and you said ok, then he is unreasonable, because there was a timeframe and you being asleep shouldn't have mattered. But if he said something like 'I'm not sure what time I'll be back. It'll be late. Do you want me to order pizza for you?', then that's different because then he is in a position of having to make a decision about how late is TOO late and, given it was 3am and you were asleep, it would be reasonable to assume you might have already eaten.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 21/08/2022 09:16

WilsonMilson · 21/08/2022 09:12

Who wants pizza at 3am? Or 11pm to be honest. Bizarre.

Why? I don't get the slavish following of time. Why isn't pizza suitable for breakfast or 3am but acceptable at 12pm or 5pm. Same calories, same food.

Arbesque · 21/08/2022 09:21

He rang to check if you still wanted pizza before he ordered. You didn't answer, it was late, so he realised you were asleep and just went ahead and ordered his own.

Drama about nothing.

BigFatLiar · 21/08/2022 09:21

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 21/08/2022 09:16

Why? I don't get the slavish following of time. Why isn't pizza suitable for breakfast or 3am but acceptable at 12pm or 5pm. Same calories, same food.

Show quote history

Nothing wrong with it but to be woken up and handed a pizza and sides at 3am is a bit off.

DelphiniumBlue · 21/08/2022 09:25

I'd be annoyed, but it is understandable that he thought you were asleep and therefore wouldn't want a pizza.
However, he should have shared his with you, picking off the pepperoni.

Tigofigo · 21/08/2022 09:25

Nekomata · 21/08/2022 04:40

Why didn't you just order your own pizza when he said he hadn't ordered you one?

This - if he'd just ordered you could probably have added to the order if you'd called up. It was a bit annoying, but also it's pretty unusual to eat pizza at 3am if you've just been at home all night so I can see his point too.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 21/08/2022 09:25

Who wakes up sober at 3am wanting pizza?!?

SidSparrow · 21/08/2022 09:27

This is a typical man type story. It's no big deal. They just don't think like us. You roll your eyes and move on.

It's like when you send them to the supermarket with a list, the supermarket doesn't have something on your list, and the man doesn't get an alternative. Typical man type thing.

I am heavy generalising here, and I'm not putting men down, I just think they are different to us.

Sisisimone · 21/08/2022 09:29

Your boyfriend was not supposed to be with you this weekend, he was on a night out with his mates and just crashing at yours. You must have known that he would not be back at yours until the early hours of the morning so no idea why you would give him a big food order unless it was just an attempt by you to get him home earlier. He was watching boxing with his mates, not having a pizza night with you! Good on him he actually called to see if you still wanted one. My DH has called to see if I want takeaway on the odd occasion when it's been late and he's been out drinking and it always makes me a bit mad because 1. He's woken me up and 2. Who wants to eat fatty takeaway sober and in the middle of the night 🙄

gamerchick · 21/08/2022 09:32

That's part of the problem isnt it? 'roll your eyes and move on'. Hmm Men aren't thick as fuck, you don't excuse that kind of laziness.

CecilyP · 21/08/2022 09:35

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 21/08/2022 09:16

Why? I don't get the slavish following of time. Why isn't pizza suitable for breakfast or 3am but acceptable at 12pm or 5pm. Same calories, same food.

Show quote history

Because unless you are on night shift or a very late night out, you are likely to be asleep at 3 am, as OP indeed was. A whole pizza with extra sides is a rather large meal to have for breakfast. Whereas 12 noon and 5 pm are early lunchtime and early teatime respectively.