To be upset with DP because he didn't order me a pizza?

[PinkStarAtNight]

DP and I weren't planning to see each other this weekend as we just spent a week together and he left to go home earlier this week, so we were going to see each other next weekend.

However, DP arranged a night out with his friends to watch the boxing match (his friends live close to where I live so they often go out in a town that's a lot closer to my house than his own) and subsequently realised that the trains were striking. He said he could get out to the town he was meeting his mates in by bus, but asked me if he could crash at mine tonight after the night out, as my house is in walking distance from the town whereas to get back to his own house without a train would take ages.

I agreed to him staying here. We talked on the phone before he went out and he said he was planning on getting a takeaway pizza on way home. I said I really fancied a pizza and he said he would get me one too. I told him what I wanted and asked him to get potato wedges, garlic dip etc...I was really looking forward to it. I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out. I didn't eat much all evening, in expectation of the pizza.

Anyway, at about 11:30 I felt quite tired so laid down, and actually ended up falling asleep. I was woken up at 3am when DP arrived back from night out. He came in and didn't have any pizza with him so I said 'where's the pizza?' He said 'oh, well I've ordered myself one, its on its way.' I said 'what about mine?' He said 'well I called you to see if you were awake and you didn't answer so I assumed you were asleep and didn't get you one.'

I'm actually really pissed off. It was a firm agreement that he was bringing back pizza for both of us, he knew I was excited about it, I had given him my order of what I wanted...even though I was asleep and didn't answer, AIBU to expect him get me a pizza anyway, thinking I probably would wake up, be hungry and want the pizza I was promised, like I have done!? Or am I being pathetic to be so pissed off with him?

He's now downstairs enjoying his pizza that arrived two mins ago while I lay on my bed hungry and annoyed!

If you are frequently eating dinner at 1130pm or Midnight that's pretty unhealthy and I doubt its that frequent. Im also doubting you were 'starving' at 3 am.If so go and make something to eat.It's a bit of an over reaction over a pizza!

Are you twelve?

The idea of an adult sulking on their bed upstairs on here, instead of making themselves a snack when woken up "starving" at 3am is so odd. I agree it sounds like OP wanted him back hours earlier to chill and eat pizza together. Alternatively if OP wanted one cold the next day (and had no intention of eating it in the middle of the night when they first talked about it) then why not let him order it once he had accidentally woken her up?

Nah, I would have fed myself if I new he was going out with his mates so he didn't need to remember getting food for me after a drink.

I explained in one of my updates that he ordered the pizza on his way back and by the time we had the conversation about me actually wanting one and he offered to order me one, the place he had gone to was closed and the only three left open were very low quality. I did ending up eating a sandwich instead.

I've also explained I didn't have a problem with him being out or being late and if he had told me it would be 3am I would have happily got my own pizza earlier...maybe before posting it would be helpful for people to TRFT or at least read my updates

Nah, still don’t believe this is about pizza.

I think you would be moaning if he woke you up with a pizza
Either way he is on a looser

Misunderstanding really. He did ring you and if you had answered he would have got you a pizza!

Not worth all the angst really

It’s a pizza
order one if it means that much
you sound very sensitive and annoying

Bingo.

But @PinkStarAtNight why didn't you eat your evening meal if you knew he was out to watch the boxing which didn't even start till 1030?

I've not read the full thread but OP already explained that eating late is part of hers and her partners usual routine

Because he said be would be back at 11:30/midnight and, as I've said, he and his family have got me used to the idea of eating late because in his house anything before 1am is normal dinner time, so while I generally try to eat dinner between 6pm-8pm, its not the end of the world to me if I end up eating late. And I was willing to wait until midnight for pizza, because it was a treat. If he had told me to begin with it would have been 3am, I would never have told him to get me a pizza too and would have just got my own earlier. I have already said this more than once, if you just RTFT

True story, my ex-h actually used this very excuse as grounds to divorce me for unreasonable behaviour - that I only ordered one pizza for myself haha! The fact that he was out with his lover at the time was irrelevant, as his wife I should have known he’d come home hungry… and it actually was held up in court & is on our official papers - except he changed ‘lover’ to ‘brother’ 🤣

Go to sleep and get over urself a bit
then tell him tomorrow he was a knob

I can see why you're a bit miffed but if my dh had been on a night out (drinking) with his mates & stumbled in at 3 am there's no way he would remember to order me pizza! He definitely wouldn't even ring me at 3 am to check I still wanted it. He probably wouldn't even get his own one as he'd have forgotten. At least he tried to phone you, that's something. I personally would have assumed dh was having fun with his mates & make my own tea/order my own pizza during the evening sometime. I 100% wouldn't skip tea & wait for drunken dh to remember to bring me food after his night out!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that's a bit odd tbh. Why didn't you just order yourself pizza in the evening?

I think the issue is that your DP used you as a crash pad, said he'd be back about 11.30-12pm to your house where he doesn't usually live, with pizza for you and him so you could eat together.

Then he stay out far later , turns up 3am with no pizza for you.

He should have crashed at his friends house if he was staying out that late. That's pretty shitty thing to do to someone who has said you can stay over at theirs when they're not even part of the night out.

Next time just say "no- stay at your friends house"

I cannot imagine asking my partner for me to turn up at his house to stay over but thinking 'it doesn't matter if I turn up at 11:30/12pm as planned so I'll rock up at 3am!!' '

If I couldn't make 12pm with pizza as discussed - (and I'd be very grateful you'd let me stay over when you werent invited for the evening) - I would have texted to say "staying out later will sleep over at friend's house so I don't disturb you. Sorry not bringing pizza now"

Honestly can’t imagine wanting a pizza at 3am, especially not when I’d been asleep for 4 hours already then woken up. It’s just the last thing I’d want so I can understand why he didn’t think you’d want one at that sort of hour, you were asleep after all…

I would have words with a DP who thought he could turn up at 3am at my house where he doesn't live , instead of 11.30/12pm as arranged - the no pizza for me bit is also annoying.

But I wouldn't agree to let him use me as a 'crash pad' again. His behaviour is selfish.

This is a really good point. Everyone is focused on the pizza and not his rude behaviour.

I think there's far more important things to stress about than the fact he didn't bring you a pizza at 3am!

Laugh it off, and get over it

I agreed. I wonder if the OP thinks she has to act like a cool, easy going girlfriend so her frustration is being misdirected to some silly pizza issue.

If my partner came in at 3AM with a stinking pizza and woke me up with said pizza, I'd be fuming!!

I'm sorry but I truly believe you're over reacting.

Tbh she's under reacting to the turn up to NOT HIS HOUSE at 3 am

Pizza or no pizza

He asked to stay over at his gf who wasn't invited out with him and said he'd be at hers by 11.30-12pm with a pizza he asked hee whjcaht shws like

Whoops was trying to wait and it posted instead

.. .. a pizza he asked her to tell him what she wanted

The pizza is a red herring

He turned up at 3 am
Not before midnight as he said

He doesn't live with OP
He wasn't out with OP

He didn't tell her he was planning to stay out later as" beer is nice" , he thought he could turn up 3 1/2 hours later than Planned in the watch hours of morning
(With no pizza. No pizza except one he could eat )

He is an selfish man OP

No way would I let a partner turn up at my house eventually at 3am - what to stay over ? Even a hotel wouldn't have accepted him at that time!!

Frig that for a game of soldiers

He could have and should have stayed at his friends house