To be upset with DP because he didn't order me a pizza?

[PinkStarAtNight]

DP and I weren't planning to see each other this weekend as we just spent a week together and he left to go home earlier this week, so we were going to see each other next weekend.

However, DP arranged a night out with his friends to watch the boxing match (his friends live close to where I live so they often go out in a town that's a lot closer to my house than his own) and subsequently realised that the trains were striking. He said he could get out to the town he was meeting his mates in by bus, but asked me if he could crash at mine tonight after the night out, as my house is in walking distance from the town whereas to get back to his own house without a train would take ages.

I agreed to him staying here. We talked on the phone before he went out and he said he was planning on getting a takeaway pizza on way home. I said I really fancied a pizza and he said he would get me one too. I told him what I wanted and asked him to get potato wedges, garlic dip etc...I was really looking forward to it. I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out. I didn't eat much all evening, in expectation of the pizza.

Anyway, at about 11:30 I felt quite tired so laid down, and actually ended up falling asleep. I was woken up at 3am when DP arrived back from night out. He came in and didn't have any pizza with him so I said 'where's the pizza?' He said 'oh, well I've ordered myself one, its on its way.' I said 'what about mine?' He said 'well I called you to see if you were awake and you didn't answer so I assumed you were asleep and didn't get you one.'

I'm actually really pissed off. It was a firm agreement that he was bringing back pizza for both of us, he knew I was excited about it, I had given him my order of what I wanted...even though I was asleep and didn't answer, AIBU to expect him get me a pizza anyway, thinking I probably would wake up, be hungry and want the pizza I was promised, like I have done!? Or am I being pathetic to be so pissed off with him?

He's now downstairs enjoying his pizza that arrived two mins ago while I lay on my bed hungry and annoyed!

If it was 3am and someone was asleep I’d assume they no longer wanted pizza.

I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out.
I thought that your reaction was more about him arriving so late and not having chill out time with you. You’ve built up a picture of the evening in your head and then was disappointed. Plus no one is reasonable if hungry.

What did he need to ring you again for to clarify?; You already said you wanted one!

maybe because it was much later than expected and he wanted to check if she still wanted it at that time. She didn't answer.

it's good common sense.

Virtually no one would have thought a male partner sulking upstairs over this was reasonable.

How is being in bed at 3.30am ‘sulking’?

To be fair, Ops last paragraph about being in bed hungry and annoyed, describes someone sulking.

Or someone trying to sleep. Why does she need to sit and watch him eat pizza downstairs?

Op says

He's now downstairs enjoying his pizza that arrived two mins ago while I lay on my bed hungry and annoyed!

How is that not sulking? Plenty of people will take themselves off and sleep AND be sulking at the same time. It’s not one or the other.

Wether you think the op is right or wrong. It’s clearly sulking.

Nope I wasn't trying to get him home earlier. We were talking on the phone as he was getting ready to go out (he called me, before anyone makes a comment about me not leaving him alone on his night out 🙄)and he mentioned he was going to get a pizza on his way back. I said 'ooh I really want pizza now! What time will you be back, will it be really late?' He said 'ermmm' whilst thinking and I said 'I'm just wondering whether you'll be back too late to bring me one for my dinner.' He then said 'it'll probs be about 11:30/midnight maybe' so I said 'oh OK thats not too bad'. (We both usually eat quite late anyway. I've picked it up from him and his family, where dinner at 11-midnight is perfectly normal, so he knows I'm ok with this. I said it would be nice to have pizza together and he agreed.

I wouldn't have asked for the pizza if he had said it would be 3am, that's why I asked for an idea of the time. Throughout the night he didn't message saying 'actually its going to be a lot later', just called when he was on way home at about 2:30 and was ordering the pizza, at which point I was asleep

If he had messaged at 11 or 11:30 or something and said 'actually I'm not going to be back for ages, if you want a pizza you should just get one now' I would have done.

I don't have an issue with him having a night out with his mates at all. I was a LITTLE 🙄at him using the house to crash when he wasn't otherwise interested in seeing me, but not enough to make a thing of it or get upset about the pizza when its really about that. He said it would be nice to see me Saturday night and spend Sunday with me and I was fine with it. I suppose I was disappointed that he came back so much later than he had said without updating me. I wish he had just said in the beginning 'it will be really late, just get your own pizza', but I wasn't trying to get him home earlier than he said he would be (and he had said 11:30/12!)

and just to clarify once again, I didn't specifically plan to or want to eat pizza at 3am in the morning, but I woke up starving so a couple of pieces at that point and then the rest the next day would have been appreciated.

Love this Duttercup - couldn't have said better myself. :)

OP said she's vegetarian though and he'd ordered a pepperoni.

I repeat - what do you want her to do? Sit and watch him eat a pizza she can’t have (as she’s vegetarian)?

Going upstairs in this situation is not sulking.

I wouldn’t have took the word of someone on a night out saying they’ll be back at X time, as most of the time they always stay out longer.
I wouldn’t even trust them to remember my order if they’ve been drinking.

Hopefully you and DP are all ok now but in future if he’s on a night out just order your own pizza and enjoy it in peace and he can get his own.

People here act as though Pizza can't be reheated and enjoyed later, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I can't believe he didn't offer to go get another for you or at least share.

Ah, I missed that you couldn't have some of his

though my other comment stands

It's a normal thing to be upset about, she gave him the order what more does he need? and even if she was asleep, pizza can be eaten when a person wakes up so that makes no sense.

Because you gave your partner clear and easy instructions and were excited for the pizza but they decided to be petty and not get it because you didn't answer their call. (Pizza can just be eaten cold or reheated) so there is 0 reason to not get it anyways.

I'm with him 100%

Pizza can be eaten cold or reheated

If someone tells me and we agree on something i'm not calling again to bug them and re ask if it's okay. Also even if she is asleep, you can eat the pizza later

How are they being greedy and unreasonable? they're letting him stay at their house, they talked and agreed firmly on him getting pizza for 2. They gave him the order and he completely just decided not to. Even if they were asleep, the pizza could have been eaten later.

If the plan had changed they would call them...there was no need to double check

I'd say it's more sensible to assume they would still want to eat it when they woke up

You were asleep and it was really late so actually he was being really considerate and not waking you up. Might you be over reacting?