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Original poster

DH has completely changed

532 replies

GeorgiaDe · 20/08/2022 17:18

My DH has completely altered his worldview/ opinion over the last few years. It was gradual, and only now am I coming to realise the full extent of it. We've been together for 15 years.

He believes in the great reset, believes there will be a nuclear war, covid is a hoax and the vaccines are killing people. He's stockpiled around £3k worth of food/ camping equipment/ knives. Our spare room is full of this stuff. He's also invested thousands into cryptocurrency.

He believes that inflation is all part of the "plan" and all the world leaders are "in on it" together.

I can't take it anymore. He disrespects my opinion by continuing to talk about it daily, even when I've expressed that I do not share the same opinion and don't want to argue about it. He tells me that "I will see when the time comes."

Every time there's news of a celebrity death/ unexplained death of a young person, he blames the covid vaccine. He threatened to leave me if I got it, although changed his mind when I made clear how serious I was.

Aibu to feel at the end of my tether? It's so draining.

OP posts:
PinkButtercups · 20/08/2022 17:20

He isn't going to change so if you're unhappy, leave.

Easier said then done but you sound drained. I personally couldn't be with someone like this.

Wagsandclaws · 20/08/2022 17:21

Gosh what a difficult situation.

I think the issue is that he doesn't respect that your opinion is different to his.

Would counselling help at all?

WagathaChristieMystery · 20/08/2022 17:22

This sounds tough OP. Have you asked him why he thinks like this? Do you know if it’s because of stuff he reads or sites he visits - or maybe his relatives have similar views? I wonder if he’d consider going to counselling (either couples counselling or counselling on his own) to talk through this? Maybe that would help?

Original poster
GeorgiaDe · 20/08/2022 17:24

I don't think he would agree to counselling because he is so adamant that he is right.

I'm even starting to question myself. Which is ridiculous, as I know my own mind and I do not believe any of this. He's just so persistent. He even thinks the train strikes are part of the "plan."

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2022 17:26

I would be running for the hills. The sad little world he now inhabits is going to destroy your mental health. I would refuse to live with someone like this.

Original poster
GeorgiaDe · 20/08/2022 17:26

WagathaChristieMystery · 20/08/2022 17:22

This sounds tough OP. Have you asked him why he thinks like this? Do you know if it’s because of stuff he reads or sites he visits - or maybe his relatives have similar views? I wonder if he’d consider going to counselling (either couples counselling or counselling on his own) to talk through this? Maybe that would help?

I know he watches a lot of YouTube videos and reads what "experts" have to say on the subject. He just ignores every other expert that doesn't fit in with his narrative.

OP posts:
Original poster
GeorgiaDe · 20/08/2022 17:27

Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2022 17:26

I would be running for the hills. The sad little world he now inhabits is going to destroy your mental health. I would refuse to live with someone like this.

This is how I fear it may end.

We've been together for so long and he never used to be like this. I feel like I should try to help him, however, I need to think about myself too.

OP posts:
Badger1970 · 20/08/2022 17:27

Sounds like a mental health crisis.

I'd encourage him to engage with a professional over it. If he won't then walk.

You can't live your life around someone elses irrational behaviour.

LampLighter414 · 20/08/2022 17:29

Ultimatum time. He either stops going on about it all and limits it’s impact on your physical life (the stockpiling etc) or the relationship is fine

LampLighter414 · 20/08/2022 17:29

*relationship is done

Original poster
GeorgiaDe · 20/08/2022 17:31

We're meant to be moving house soon; I don't know how we are going to move all the tinned food he has stockpiled without hiring someone. It's that bad. We're also downsizing, so I don't know where it's all going to go.

OP posts:
Confrontayshunme · 20/08/2022 17:31

My dad has just been moved into a care home after 40 years of paranoia, hoarding guns and ammunition and prepper stuff, ham radios for when "the government takes away all our satellite comms". I felt such relief to get rid of it all and sever the ties to his mental illness forever. My DM is just realising that she has spent the last several decades hiding from him and tiptoeing around the chaos. She wishes she had had the courage to do it when I was a child and apologised to me. Leave him now. This is bigger than believing in a few conspiracy theories. I never realised my DM also paid for everything while his entire income went to his "hobbies". Now, the cost of selling it all barely covers a few months of his dementia care. You get my third ever LTB.

CoffeeLover90 · 20/08/2022 17:31

I know people like this. I could never live with one. They say it's all part of The Plan but can never explain properly what The Plan is. One suggested covid was 'released' so the world became cashless? How the actual F does that make sense? When questioned they reverted back to The Plan subject. I just coughed and walked away. Try that. Or put earphones in and listen to something other than this utter shite.

backupplan1 · 20/08/2022 17:33

@CoffeeLover90 Have you googled about the great reset? It will explain everything you need to know

KTheGrey · 20/08/2022 17:35

I would have to leave somebody this intent on their own world.

Angelinflipflops · 20/08/2022 17:35

Could you just gently take the piss out of him?

Original poster
GeorgiaDe · 20/08/2022 17:38

I'm sorry to hear that @Confrontayshunme

The thing is that he was never like this before. I want my old DH back; the one that didn't attribute every tiny thing to the covid vaccine, didn't spend hours watching YouTube videos, didn't try to persuade me that the world as we know it is going to end.

He holds down a good job. He appears "normal" to friends and family.

OP posts:
Original poster
GeorgiaDe · 20/08/2022 17:39

Angelinflipflops · 20/08/2022 17:35

Could you just gently take the piss out of him?

He just laughs back at me and tells me he will be proven right in time.

OP posts:
Maisa45 · 20/08/2022 17:41

Oh the plus side you are all set if society does collapse!

AgathaX · 20/08/2022 17:43

Do friends and family know about this? Does
he have friends with the same mindset?

lafado · 20/08/2022 17:44

My partner is similar although not as committed as your partner. I knew it would be online videos that has made your partner like this. My partner is like a sponge for any of this stuff, he just takes on the opinion of anyone he watches. To me these people making the videos are lunatics, but then I'm not easily swayed.

hattie43 · 20/08/2022 17:44

He's having a David Icke reincarnation . Viewing and reading to many barking YouTube vids etc .
I'll be honest it's one thing to appreciate a different perspective but he sounds damaged and brainwashed by it all.
It's not someone I could share my life with fb

maryback · 20/08/2022 17:45

I think you should leave him. You only get one life.
Tell him you can't live with a prepper / conspiracy theorist and then start to make your plans to separate. If he changes his ways after you have left, you could always get back together, but he probably won't.

SunnyD44 · 20/08/2022 17:47

He is obviously suffering from MH issues but that doesn’t mean you should risk your MH by dealing with this.

It is quite scary how these online people can brainwash ordinary people and I know a few people who have completely changed since covid.

Then the more they get involved with this online stuff, the more conspiracies they start believing and it’s hard to pull them out of it.

Honestly if he’s not the man you married then I’d seriously consider ending the relationship.
It doesn’t sound like this is going to get better anytime soon.

knittingaddict · 20/08/2022 17:48

backupplan1 · 20/08/2022 17:33

@CoffeeLover90 Have you googled about the great reset? It will explain everything you need to know

Coffee sounds too clued up to do any such thing. Google the great reset 😂