DH has completely changed

[GeorgiaDe]

My DH has completely altered his worldview/ opinion over the last few years. It was gradual, and only now am I coming to realise the full extent of it. We've been together for 15 years.

He believes in the great reset, believes there will be a nuclear war, covid is a hoax and the vaccines are killing people. He's stockpiled around £3k worth of food/ camping equipment/ knives. Our spare room is full of this stuff. He's also invested thousands into cryptocurrency.

He believes that inflation is all part of the "plan" and all the world leaders are "in on it" together.

I can't take it anymore. He disrespects my opinion by continuing to talk about it daily, even when I've expressed that I do not share the same opinion and don't want to argue about it. He tells me that "I will see when the time comes."

Every time there's news of a celebrity death/ unexplained death of a young person, he blames the covid vaccine. He threatened to leave me if I got it, although changed his mind when I made clear how serious I was.

Aibu to feel at the end of my tether? It's so draining.

I think it's sadly quite easy to find proof of just about any belief now ,and one site leads to another full of like minded people
So draining for you and I'm not sure how you can continue living with this
No advice bar get help for yourself and best wishes to you

OP, if you had kids would you be able to get them vaccinated? For everything? Measles, polio (which is back), diphtheria, rubella whooping cough, the lot?

If you know the answer is no, I think you know you need to leave.

You have the rest of your life to live. Don't get trapped in his paranoid nightmare.

Maybe - just maybe - you leaving will sort him out and you could have another shot. If you find you want to by then. Either way please live YOUR life in a way that makes you happy.

@Tinytinseltown we think alike! The sheer logistics of a global conspiracy are mind boggling. Can you IMAGINE the number of spreadsheets that would be needed.

and exactly - if there is this great conspiracy how on earth have they not noticed these YouTube videos 😂

there is so much genuine corruption and bad shit happening - tell him to go and have a good old read on the history of the regulation of water supply and pipe management in the uk over the last 20 years. Awful stuff. But not sexy enough for conspiracy theorists unfortunately

You can check out forums for those who have lost family members to QAnon theories. It's tragic. But they are lost. They rarely come back.

Sounds as though his mental health is in decline,
clearly suffering from paranoia. This will escalate if he doesn’t get help.

@Spodocomod0 does the Queen know thet Prince Charles is in charge of the Global Reset?

I am so sorry for your losses.

I agree almost entirely. But opinion does still exist. And that was really the point ,also, some things are hidden in plain sight. And most of us know that people don't pay attention to anything anymore.Just look at what our government have done in plain sight and with contempt. I have merely made some suggestions that people may want to check out some of the real things happening around us ,that will ultimately have an impact. I make no predictions. Do as you please. I certainly will.

It does sound as though it is a mental health crisis that has crept up on him. Is there any way you can get help for him? It sounds as though he has anxiety and paranoia, possibly OCD-type issues. Can you talk to his GP about your concerns?

She has enough on her plate with Andrew. And I doubt if he's in charge.

Save yourself OP.

Don't be dragged down by him.

You do not owe anyone your mental health.

There is an interesting podcast - you are not so smart - where a few episodes are devoted to trying to understand the conspiracy mind. Not sure if it will help but understanding of what you are dealing with might help.

He thinks he is taking logical action in response to his anxiety but realistically, how long is his hoard of tinned food going to last in the event of nuclear war. A few months if he's lucky and then what? It's totally illogical.

Sorry for the underlining.

Tbh I think you need professional help in on this. It’s not normal behaviour, you say he has changed radically, I think you need a doctor’s involvement.
If he’s hoarding weapons as in knives, seems to think the end is nigh I wouldn’t be going off camping or teasing or laughing at his beliefs. Can you go to your GP and explain what has happened? To me it sounds like mental illness.

youarenotsosmart.com/2021/01/29/yanss-197-steven-novella-and-jesse-walker-discuss-the-history-and-psychology-of-conspiracy-theories-2/

I don't think there's just one cause of this kind of behaviour

Among the people I know it seems to be either 1) following some kind of trauma/humiliation (now they feel empowered/special) or 2) an extension of their existing racist/fascist tendencies (a lot of the conspiracy theories have racist or antisemitic elements)

its hard living with anyone you don’t share dogmatic views with, whether it’s conspiracy, religion or lifestyle choices.

you could try and explain that regardless of who’s controlling what and for whatever reasons, you live in the here and now and the reality of that. Thinking you have an answer for why things are doesn’t change the reality of what things are. It’s largely irrelevant practically speaking. If he can at least acknowledge the logic in that maybe he can accept that he needs to reign in the dogma and preaching. Then it’s up to you whether that’s enough for you to be able to continue the relationship in any comfort or security.

fwiw I’ve come to the conclusion that, over the past few years especially, that those who become so deeply embroiled and let it become their personality are actually just really frightened of the uncontrolled chaos that life is capable of. Sadly there is a lot of corruption in the world that only affirms their views of much larger and wilder conspiracy.

Sorry meant to add -- I think loads of people were radicalised during lockdown. We don't even know how many bc like OP's husband lots of people try to hide it.

If your DH has had a total personality bypass, and his current behaviour is out of character, it is worth him seeing his GP and getting a referral to a therapist. If he can afford to do that privately, I'd try that, so it doesn't drag on for 1year+ On the NHS waiting list.

it may be he can talk it through and reset his mindset. It sounds like he's 'stuck' and needs a real world jolt back into reality. Unfortunately the only person who can help him is him - he has to see there's a problem and what he stands to lose by staying with his entrenched views and inability to communicate and connect with you.

He's a loon.

In another era, he would have been a Nazi.

He's gullible, stupid and evil.

How could you be with someone like this for 5 mins? You sound way too tolerant of it! Just leave.

If it's all true and we get nuked he's wasted an awful lot of money.

We were very close to this in the 80s, my parents in '63. We're all still here.

I've been inside an old nuclear bunker in our town hall
I wouldn't like to live like that.

Also, if he's hoarding knives, he sounds dangerous.

I would contact the police and refer him to Prevent. He's clearly fully-signed up to dangerous conspiracy theories. Normal people don't hoard knives. If it was just food, maybe harmless. Knives? No.

Run for the hills.

Does he sound like he would welcome a visit to the GP or push for a therapist (who gets a therapist on the NHS these days, other than 6 weeks of CBT which is v unhelpful for people that even want help, let alone someone like OPs parter)

Where did you read that crap. The WEF have a pecking order Charles is 4th tier