DH has completely changed

[GeorgiaDe]

My DH has completely altered his worldview/ opinion over the last few years. It was gradual, and only now am I coming to realise the full extent of it. We've been together for 15 years.

He believes in the great reset, believes there will be a nuclear war, covid is a hoax and the vaccines are killing people. He's stockpiled around £3k worth of food/ camping equipment/ knives. Our spare room is full of this stuff. He's also invested thousands into cryptocurrency.

He believes that inflation is all part of the "plan" and all the world leaders are "in on it" together.

I can't take it anymore. He disrespects my opinion by continuing to talk about it daily, even when I've expressed that I do not share the same opinion and don't want to argue about it. He tells me that "I will see when the time comes."

Every time there's news of a celebrity death/ unexplained death of a young person, he blames the covid vaccine. He threatened to leave me if I got it, although changed his mind when I made clear how serious I was.

Aibu to feel at the end of my tether? It's so draining.

Very accurate

OP - I forgot to say that my OH has these type of tendencies, he doesnt believe in the 9/11 incident and makes snidey remarks about the moon landings for example, however I have trained him out of some of it by comparing the people that you get on youtube (usually posting from their mums bedrooms) to the person that you used to find down the pub in the old days

Back in the day before pubs turned into bars and gastropubs, particularly if they were quite run down 'old man pubs' there was always a bloke in the corner that everyone gave a wide berth to, didnt want to make eye contact with because otherwise you'd be embroiled in conversation about all sorts of mad things

So now when he said 'oh have you read this, this says blah blah blah' . I say 'who told you that, or what expert has said that' and he'll recognise how ridiculous it sounds and compare it to 'bloke down the pub'.

It sounds as fi your OP is too far gone unfortunately

I think it's interesting that he behaves like he's 'normal' around the majority of people. Have you tried bringing up the subject and telling everyone what he's doing (in a factual way not like you're trying to humiliate him). It sounds like he's not as confident about it in real life as he is online and if everyone starts to learn about what he's doing in his real life then then maybe it might make him start to reassess.

Sorry about that, OP. There aren't any easy solutions, OP, IME. Every prediction that doesn't happen to the timetable (Great reset 1.0, Vatican assets,... Covid lockdown going on forever, vaccination deaths, brain controlling chips, wifi controlling brains, doctors being paid to put COVID on death certificates to inflate figures...) gets forgotten and later predictions have less firm timetables. Confirmation bias and some really weird psychology that things asserted by those inside the world view get believed without evidence and anything in MSM with normal people's standards of evidence is disregarded. There is some significant money made by unscrupulous people and I suspect discord sowed deliberately but to me, it involves the weirdest psychology and it seems unlucky for the families who might have gone for their entire lives with happy relationships in other circumstances.

Have to agree with JP as an idiot's idea of what an intelligent person is. Lots of strawman arguments badged as 'see a feminist/woke person's argument literally destroyed by JP' by the assertion of generalities. I find JP's support less surprising than the OP's apparently normal person dragged into conspiracies as we have experience of populist demagoguery using similar techniques arguments on angry dissatisfied people.

Why not just accept it as his hobby, if he can learn to stop talking about it all the time?
Has he mentioned transhumanism, yet?

Sorry to add to your worry but if family money was used for the digital assets then it would be reasonable to ask him how much was bought in which asset at what price and what the current market price is. Depending on when he bought, it might be a happy picture or not. As complex keys are required, it would be reasonable to ask him where they are written if he falls ill or dies and if the sum is significant then where they are stored outside a single location.

This is what he says.

I just read a couple of the replies to my OP to him and he started shouting at me about how I know nothing.

He's now watching a preppers video on YouTube.

Ah im sorry you're going through this OP and I'm sorry about you miscarriages.
I have friends like this and find them completely draining, I can only imagine how difficult it is to live with someone with these ideas. I get sent endless videos (some of which are very convincing and I start to question myself. I even started to stock pile. But then I rationalise things).

My friends have no mental health problems. They simply have a belief and once they have that belief, they only see evidence that supports that viewpoint and ignore the evidence that contradicts it. All human brings do this its called cognitive biasing. But now we have the Internet spreading endless misinformation. I mean there maybe some truth in some of it. These people in power don't have our best interests at heart , they want more power but what these conspiracy theorists are saying is nothing short of deliberate mass genocide so it's a leap too far for me. When I watch a video I think who I'd this guy, what is his credentials. Is what he is saying true but when I suggest my friends do this, they seem to ignore it. So I think questioning things doesn't help but maybe I'm wrong.

The only thing I can think is that you make a rule that you don't discuss stuff like this at home. He's entitled to his opinion but he shouldn't shove it down your throat all the time.

Google Guardian conspiracy theory - there’s an article on how to counter this (if you can be bothered)

His kind are always banging on about 'open your mind' and 'do your own research' but are entirely closed off to any ideas whatsoever against their own confirmation bias once they as far down the rabbit hole as your partner is OP.

They don't see the irony in calling people 'sheeple' yet blindly following whichever YouTuber their subreddit is all over like a rash at any one time.

I couldn't live with someone who was like this because it's constant and they won't agree to disagree. They're spoiling for a fight.

And whenever something doesn't come to fruition, they either say it has done but there's been a cover up or they move the goal posts entirely. Exhausting.

Has he always thought shouting down someone was the sign of being right and confident in the facts and his argument?

Lets hope he bought his digital assets long enough ago to have maintained his investment.

There is a big difference between being aware of what's going on, and bombarding your friends and family with nonsense. Worse, shouting at OP.

WEF is obviously freely available info, the MoD have stuff on their website that may or may not concern people.

but I couldn't be married to someone who is behaving like this. I did have two vaccines but completely respect the opinions of those who do or don't.

everything doesn't have to be so polarised. Also I sense OP husband might be like my friend - thinking we are all stupid if we are not prepping.

This sounds like miserable way to live.

My partner became a massive Remoaner and that was bad enough.

Even if any bad thing could be predicted, why waste your one and only life worrying about it?

I'm sorry about the miscarriages too.

So have you done research? Or just dismiss everything he says completely. I'm a believer in free speech, Yours his and mine. If you feel afraid of him,and you truly believe he is unhinged. You must do what's right for you. And it's very true that there are a lot of conspiracy theories online. But we all choose what's easiest to believe.

exactly. It's spoiling for a fight - I couldn't live with that.

We all choose what's easiest to believe? Let's hope some look for a robust evidence base, avoid confirmation and other cognitive biases, look for falsification and other standards of rigour for epistemology rather than 'scratching the surface' then forgetting the results of every predication that fell over.

It looks like he was not able to cope with the stress and uncertainty of the past few years and ended up losing it completely...

Unless he accepts he has issues, he won't be able to get help and change.

I would leave. I could not stay with someone like this and keep my own sanity.

He sounds and acts like people who become involved with a cult. They can appear very rational/believable because they are so brainwashed that they truly think that what they are saying and doing is perfectly sensible.

My friend did end her marriage for similiar reasons. Five kids, youngest three still in school.
She said he had been a 'bastard' for years, but since covid has totally believed the in the conspiracy theories to such a degree it became untenable. The last straw was they had booked a family trip abroad and if he didn't get the vaccine he couldn't go. His attitude was 'don't care'. She told him to leave.
Sadly his two eldest don't talk to him anymore. My son saw him recently and says he looked like a bum.
Who knows what make an intelligent person go so down the rabbit hole that it risks their relationships and livelihoods.

Exactly, my mum is a bit like this, doesnt believe in mainstream medication, all into psychic crap and whatever but thats because she has an 'open mind' and no one else does. Even though she has a completely closed and rigid mind to anything which is outside of what she believes

The problem is people are either like this or they're not. People who have a personality tending toward the 'Im special and have special information, I know better than you' or rigid views or thought processes, or who have views with a delusional flavour are more inclined to fall in with this sort of stuff.

Mental health diagnoses are fairly rigid too, being that anything which doesnt fall outside of the prescribed criteria wouldnt be a 'mental health problem' but clearly having extreme views, which are somewhat all consuming would be 'not right' whatever label you want to put on it

Why do you suggest the OP does research.

Are you suggestion she should be converted, why should she spend time seeing if she agrees with her husband?

So this is part of the problem - free speech does not make every person’s opinion equally valid. I will say this once and only once; if the puppet masters of the world who supposedly have a plan for the great reset are truly plotting this, why the hell would they let YouTube of all places host videos by randos about it. Unless it’s all part of the plan of course 🙄

To undertake a conspiracy on that scale just doesn’t account for human fallibility and incompetence. It’s why we know about genuine conspiracies like watergate - they messed up, or MKULTRA, because good historians have interrogated the evidence. 9 times out of 10 a YouTube conspiracy theorist is peddling nonsense because the algorithm rewards controversy and it gets them more views, thus more money. Other times it’s because they’ve linked it to their personal agendas, oftentimes because they are racists or antisemites that don’t want to say it out loud, so use conspiracy theories to mask them.

If you want to know what it’s like when an authority genuinely wants to quash dissent online, trying typing ‘Winnie the Pooh’ on China’a main social media site, Weibo (I’m not even joking). Or try posting about Putin’s palaces in Russia. Or pretty much anything in North Korea.

Authorities can do it if they want, trust me on that.

Oh god I had a friend like this. I tried to engage because I do think that there is a lot of media misinformation and I do think that the current uk government is corrupt and there is lots of dodgy shit happening.

but she had no interest in discussing actual things thst we’re happening - eg the law restricting protest and corruption in awarding contract etc. I also talked about issues for example about China and it’s totalitarian government and what that could mean.

all that she wanted to talk about was how there was a small group running the entire world. I queried with her logistically how a small group of people could do that without a massive workforce including an awful lot of project managers running around - subjugating an entire global population is gonna take some work…. She couldn’t engage.

basically for her it’s pretty clear she’s got a shed load of historic trauma she’s never deal with - and this is a freat
eacape from it.

it sounds like he couldn’t cope with losing his business and lockdown and this is his way of. It facing it.

incredibly difficult and sad. But I agree with those saying you can’t change him. Maybe if you left it would jolt him out of it. Maybe not.

but certainly you don’t have to give you your own life to his paranoia

I was just about to say this and forgot to add to my post!!

Yes the world leaders, so smoky and mysterious and powerful,, controlling our lives, the puppets of our governments

If they're so bloody powerful why are they sneaking around on social media and using puppet governments and inventing illnesses that dont exist to 'control' us!!!!

He's also invested thousands into cryptocurrency.

Be careful. There was an article in the FT (not sure when, but recently because it's now all over twitter) about a couple who divorced, and she got assets and his pension because he wanted to hang on to his cryptocurrenty investments. Which have now gone tits up and he wants to go back to court and get a new arrangement.

Make sure you have access to funds (real, not crypto) just in case.

Because she thinks he's nuts. She doesn't have to agree with him though does she.