Since this is the topic of the month, probably because its holiday season, I wondered what other peoples' thoughts were on this.
I've recently had a visit from a friend, her OH and their adopted teenage son for 8 days. They were really nice guests, respectful, courteous and polite and we had a nice time. They asked to come well in advance and we had plenty of time to prepare. I have no issue with them. Even so, its quite hard going having another family living in your home for that long, but again not a problem as I know them well (apart from the teenager who was a little moody at times, but again not all that bad).
We live outwith the UK in a country which is popular for holidays.
But its my childhood friend I really want to see. I would love for her to get a break and stay on her own but there seems no possibility of that, even though her OH is perfectly happy to look after their kids on his own.
Anyway, I accept I cannot change her mind on this. However, on leaving friend suggested quite heavily that they come for another holiday in 9 or 10 months time, this time bringing their 9 year old foster daughter with them (different country, different rules on fostering/adoption). Without putting too fine a point on it, this child is quite disturbed and suffers from behavioural difficulties. We have a small farm with lots of animals and pets, of whom I am very fond. I have no idea how unpredictable the child's behaviour can be. She can have tantrums involving screaming and damaging things and seems to demonstrate attention seeking, dramatic behaviour. My friend admits this and that she has behavioural problems. I don't want to sound melodramatic, but I'm really worried that there might be a slight risk that the child might do something to one of my animals, and I would never put them at risk. I just don't want to do it, and I don't know how to say it without damaging the friendship or sounding unwelcoming.
They are all city people and I have to watch them carefully around the animals/farm so that they don't put themselves at risk anyway - found friend in with the cows petting them while they were eating their hard feed for instance on the last visit! Nothing malicous in it on their part, but they don't quite realise that animals can be dangerous or alternatively, easily harmed, by someone doing something wrong that they think is harmless.
I just don't want to host the child at all. I'd love to see my friend on her own (which her very helpful, laidback OH would happily facilitate) or her and her OH together, but not their kids. I'm a bit mmnn about how my willingness to initially host friend and then her OH too (first visit was friend on her own, second was friend with her other friend whom I didn't know, third visit was friend and her OH and last visit was friend and most of her family).
I'd really love to spend time with friend alone, even for just a couple of days, just her and me, but she's turned into bloomin' Mother Theresa and its just not possible any more.