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Original poster

CF Have come to stay - The morning after

638 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 22:33

The first thread is full so I'll start a new one, in case there is a dramatic update in the morning.

I actually feel emotionally drained right now. I keep almost crying. Pathetic. Probably the wine thats doing that.

I'll be going to bed shortly and i'll update tomorrow if theres anything to add. I reckon they will be up early and go quietly though.

They don't drive a ford ranger (I remember that thread! haven't looked at a ford ranger driver the same since!) Its a bmw something or other.

Dp cleared up the kitchen and 1 dc (dd19) came down and helped, so thats all good. She then came out, gave me a little hug and said DP had explained about the food. She then lit up and offered me a cigarette (WTF! I don't smoke and although had an inkling wasn't sure she did) and said no ones perfect, everyone has failings. Honestly i'm in a parallel universe tonight.

Dp has put most of the beers away in the garage, just left in the fridge what was there. I do wonder if they will take them home.

Heres the first one if anyone wants to catch up as not sure I can give a proper summery right now www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4614982-cf-have-come-to-stay-how-to-handle-it?page=23&reply=119364945

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 20/08/2022 02:15

Fraaahnces · 20/08/2022 01:53

I’m so impressed with you! My CF relatives “informed” me when they intended to travel to where we were then living in the Netherlands. (We’re all from Aus, btw..) They intended to use our place as a base while they were travelling with their FOUR KIDS. And just do day trips and short stops for SIX MONTHS! I explained that that wouldn’t work for us as our house was far too small to accommodate everyone. They then informed me that it would be fine if they could “just moor their motorhome at our place”. (Using our water and power of course.) Had to advise them that it was illegal to do that on the street where we lived and had no driveway. Never
mind, they decided our back garden would be fine. I had to tell them that they’d have to invest in a boat as our garden was backed onto a canal. They came to visit for four nights and ate our food and guzzled our wine and pissed myself and DH off immensely. On the last night, I decided to buy only one bottle of wine to see if they would bring some of their own. (May have deliberately chosen Fat Bastard wine too.) Anyhow, we had a glass each and the moment my DH came home from work, she snaffled the bottle and went to pour it in her glass. I put my hand over hers and said “How about we save some for the guy who’s paid for everything so far?” She looked very out out, but clunked it down on the table. She looked at her DH and said, “Oh well, we have more in the van. We can have it after dinner.” They didn’t help clean up after dinner, but of course popped off to their van and didn’t come back with any wine either.”

I think some people get obsessed with 'doing Europe on 5 quid a day' and just spend all their time ripping everyone off.

We met one in SE Asia. We hired a truck with a driver, paid him, then another traveller asked to come in with us. Great, that'll be the cost divided by the people (slightly less than it would have been, still more than a local bus). No, he wanted to avail himself of the nicer ride while paying the bus price. He was told to fuck off. He pointed out that we would be paying more without him. We pointed out that we would be happy to pay more to NOT have him there.

We live somewhere nice now and are fortunate to only have lovely house guests.

ohfourfoxache · 20/08/2022 02:23

I don’t get it… how is it that lovely people are taken advantage of like this? Do people have no bloody shame?

You meet a lovely person and you cherish them, you don’t take the piss 😮

Pleaseaddcaffine · 20/08/2022 02:27

Watching. Good luck op

Bananababana · 20/08/2022 02:31

Just wow

Leafy3 · 20/08/2022 02:36

Just caught up on your last thread developments - GREAT updates!

grlwhowrites · 20/08/2022 02:46

KenAdams · 19/08/2022 22:52

We shall call them Steakzillas

Hahahaha excellent 👏🏻

Bordesleyhills · 20/08/2022 04:17

Love it love it love it

How much was the shopping ..... still a very cheap holiday and I do hope your reservation is made at theirs?

Popsicle33 · 20/08/2022 04:20

This reply has been deleted

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alphons · 20/08/2022 04:24

My take on this is a little different. I appreciate that it can be hard to say no, even in your own home, but different people live lives by different standards (makes life interesting!). Clearly, as your houseguests have proven. It would be nice to have people who only live by your mores and standards and ways in your home. Most people ensure this. I happen to agree with you that they are CFs - but there’s truth in the statement that you should have asked them outright if you wanted help. And, you needed to have been firm about bills and how long they were welcome. I too wouldn’t have thought I’d need to say anything, but I wouldn’t have let it fester and eventually erupt in a major-hint-dropping way. They were clearly taking the piss from the minute they crossed the threshold. Fuck that. Nobody treats me like that, certainly not in my own home.

Lesson learned. That lesson is that not everyone lives their lives like you do and different techniques are required with different people.

Fraaahnces · 20/08/2022 04:25

@MrsTerryPratchett - I know what you’re saying, but these relatives have form. He tried hitting up MY grandmother for money for a house deposit (he is not related to her) and said that he had come to ask in person because she hadn’t gone to his wedding. She pointed out that she wasn’t actually invited and that she had had nothing to do with him prior to that day, and didn’t intend to fund his future either. (She would have loved Mumsnet)

EmmaGrundyForPM · 20/08/2022 04:33

My sister is like this. Comes to stay with husband and 2 kids for a week, doesn't contribute to the food or drink. Drives me mad. They have much more money than us - own 2 houses, kids in private school etc. One time they stayed for two weeks, I did all the cooking (tbf, I like cooking so that's not an issue) so dsis suggested we all go to a restaurant one evening. I assumed she was offering to pay but when the bill came she split it down the middle.

miri1985 · 20/08/2022 04:40

I had a friend, her husband and her newborn ds invite themselves for a 3 day trip. They flew business class, did not bring me anything for putting them up, didn't invite me out to dinner or anything. The day they were leaving it was my birthday, so in the back of my head the whole time they were there I was like "oh shes planning on giving me the present on the day she leaves", barely got a happy birthday, no present not even a card. The only present they left was an unemptied bin fill of nappies in my guest room

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/08/2022 04:47

I wish people would stop doubting these threads. I posted a couple of my experiences on the last one. We used to have parties and the ‘guests’ behaved appallingly. Never brought any present at all. Just a token amount of booze despite us going all out. One idiot (with kids) hooked up with a woman we’d invited and left the spent condom in the bathroom bin. Being ecologically minded, I don’t line my bathroom bins, preferring to wash them out. 🤮

Haggisfish3 · 20/08/2022 05:01

Good grief. These stories are awful! Well done op and bravo dh as well.

expat101 · 20/08/2022 05:12

Well done you both!

startfresh · 20/08/2022 05:36

Checked the other thread a few times when I woke in the night.m, wondered why it went silent, then realised it was at 1K. @MNHQ is it possible to add the link to the original, by any chance? Smile

ArcheryAnnie · 20/08/2022 05:38

Agreed, @Mummyoflittledragon . I find the OP's experience all too plausible, sadly. I had someone's plus-one stay when she stayed with me, and they just sat in a chair the entire time, waiting to be served. Didn't lift a hand, didn't bring anything, didn't say thank you.

LookItsMeAgain · 20/08/2022 05:40

startfresh · 20/08/2022 05:36

Checked the other thread a few times when I woke in the night.m, wondered why it went silent, then realised it was at 1K. @MNHQ is it possible to add the link to the original, by any chance? Smile

The OP put the link in her first post here.

I do hope you managed to get to sleep. I'd say the trouble you had initially was down to that boost of adrenaline and the wine.

Fingers crossed that your guests leave without leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.

StoppinBy · 20/08/2022 05:54

What dirty rats they are.

Surely a request to go buy the food should have been the kick up the bum they needed to realise they had been taking advantage of you, I genuinely can't believe they had the gall to tell you that you should ask for help to tidy up after meals and that they should have been told if they were expected to pay for dinner.

Sounds like they weren't planning on leaving tomorrow either!

True CF'ers.

Hope they leave peacefully (I think an apology might be asking a bit much from these people).

christmascrazylady · 20/08/2022 05:56

I hope they leave in the morning and you never hear from them again

Festivalpartygirl · 20/08/2022 06:06

Well having read the previous thread and caught up on this one, firstly well done OP, although I don’t envy the awkwardness this morning, I hope they hurry up and leave.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 20/08/2022 06:07

I wonder if the CFs will sneak out very early before anyone is up?

Randomness12 · 20/08/2022 06:09

I hope they at least have the good grace to leave quietly and early first thing

ApolloandDaphne · 20/08/2022 06:12

They are so bloody rude. I hope they go quietly this morning.

LunaTheCat · 20/08/2022 06:16

OP I salute you and your DH - you have been so so strong.
What absolutely awful people!
We have been in that situation - freeloading visitors , not willing to contribute.
The worst thing about these people is that they usually have plenty money but absolutely no class !

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