CF Have come to stay - The morning after

[SeriouslyLosingTheWill]

The first thread is full so I'll start a new one, in case there is a dramatic update in the morning.

I actually feel emotionally drained right now. I keep almost crying. Pathetic. Probably the wine thats doing that.

I'll be going to bed shortly and i'll update tomorrow if theres anything to add. I reckon they will be up early and go quietly though.

They don't drive a ford ranger (I remember that thread! haven't looked at a ford ranger driver the same since!) Its a bmw something or other.

Dp cleared up the kitchen and 1 dc (dd19) came down and helped, so thats all good. She then came out, gave me a little hug and said DP had explained about the food. She then lit up and offered me a cigarette (WTF! I don't smoke and although had an inkling wasn't sure she did) and said no ones perfect, everyone has failings. Honestly i'm in a parallel universe tonight.

Dp has put most of the beers away in the garage, just left in the fridge what was there. I do wonder if they will take them home.

Heres the first one if anyone wants to catch up as not sure I can give a proper summery right now www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4614982-cf-have-come-to-stay-how-to-handle-it?page=23&reply=119364945

💐💐💐💐💐for you.

I really hope that they’ve read this, I’ve got guests who invited themselves coming, I’ve already texted them to ask when they are leaving and said can they bring their (extortionate) breakfast cereal of choice with them as of course everyone is on a budget now! Not quite sure how they are going to react to the 2min showers DH is insisting we all have. 🤣

Apparently they didn’t realise they were needed to help out because they were on holiday and holidays are meant to be to relax.

What? If you want that kind of holiday you go to a hotel. You don't go and stay at someone's house, expect them to fund everything and treat them like skivvies. There is a big difference between making yourself at home and what they did.

What a thread OP. Very entertaining 😂 Sorry you had such rude guests but it’s given me a good laugh this morning. I’m glad you and your DP stood up to them and in such a classy way. Hopefully they’ve learnt something from the experience and will be better guests for their next victims.

SoGlad they have left! Well done OP!

SoGlad they have left! Well done OP!

Ah, OP, in my (admittedly weird) imagination, you are all dancing naked IN YOUR OWN house, cramming choccies into your mouths & laughing as it streaks all over your faces..
Or maybe that's just what I'D be doing, in sheer relief!
Have a WONDERFUL weekend as you all reclaim your space!

OP I suggest your DH sends his XW a link to his thread.
Then no further explanation needed!
Meanwhile make sure you both block their phone and unfriend on fb etc.
Enjoy your CF-free weekend and the Merlot

Good result! Well done on standing up for yourself and your family!

I had a so called friend do something similar. She was attending something near me, and said wouldn't it be great to catch up. Basically she didn't want to pay for a hotel room. I have never seen her since.
Enjoy the wine tonight

Sadly, I believe every word of this. When married I experienced this behaviour from a few of my husbands friends. When we separated my main thought was ‘I never have to host them again’. And I haven’t. I’ve hosted others but not them. The wife tried to get pally again a few years ago but I shut her down and didn’t feel guilty at all.

Enjoy your croissants and alcohol and whatever else was purchased.

BUT…………..if you do have a conversation with the ex wife, please update us about it.

Totally this.

OP you are an inspiration to us all.

I'm glad there was no dramatic update OP, them going quietly and actually saying Thank you is really the best outcome, even if its not the most exciting for thread update purposes!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend OP.

The excuse of

we didn't help out due to being on holiday
no they are not on holiday, they are staying with people in their home and that is a very different scenario. I expect it was the only excuse they could come up with for being fucking lazy and they are not used to be pulled up o their sheer entitled attitude, so it was a bit of a shock for them.

sadly they will most probably leave thinking it's everyone else at fault and never them....but thats everyone else problem now and not yours.

Though possibly the chocolates and flowers were a step in the correct direction of a way of thank you.

arriving at someones home empty handed isn't appropriate, neither is not receiving some help with cooking and washing up - hosts are not servants

Great news

Did make me wonder if they paid for flowers and chocolates separately when they went to Tesco. Hopefully these items weren't on the dinner receipt they expected reimbursement for😀

Great news

Did make me wonder if they paid for flowers and chocolates separately when they went to Tesco. Hopefully these items weren't on the dinner receipt they expected reimbursement for😀

They knew perfectly well what they were doing and have done so for years I reckon. That's why they can afford all the holidays because they get free ones at others expense. I bet your DHs ex-wife can probably tell some tales.

Many people with money have it because of their bare faced cheek in not spending it. Not all, thankfully - but far too many.

+Apparently they didn’t realise they were needed to help out because they were on holiday and holidays are meant to be to relax.*

wtf? Is your house a hotel? Why on Earth would you be voluntarily skivvying around for people you don’t even know?

cheeky cunts. Am glad they’ve fucked off!

i wouldn’t be surprised if this gets picked up by the Daily Mail, I’ve loved this thread, but so sorry for you op.

Well apart from flowers anything else would have kept for a few days, it's not as if they were moving in permanently!!

Congratulations - you both handled this brilliantly.

what sentient adult thinks they will be waited on hand on foot when staying someone else’s home?

they are jus CF, but you played them at their own game and won!

They only bought the flowers and chocolates because they were shamed into it last night. They wouldn't have bothered otherwise.

OP you are one awesome lady!
It takes guts to face up to those kind of people but you’ve done it now and I can tell you it gets easier. I won’t bore you with instances of things that have happened in my life where over the years my big girls knickers have grown into giant girls knickers, but you won’t be so held back in the future now that you realise that telling people how it is first off is better than agonising about things and making yourself ill.
I,m glad you had the backing of your lovely dp and dcs too.

Who knows you may well have given the cfs a wake up call and they’ll think twice about pulling stunts like this with anyone else in the future but I doubt it will for long as these types of people are hardened to it!

Anyway OP, give yourself a pat on the back and every time you think of this going forward do a couple of fist pumps as well, YOU came out best in such a horrible situation!!!
You are a super hero 🦸‍♀️