CF Have come to stay - The morning after

[SeriouslyLosingTheWill]

The first thread is full so I'll start a new one, in case there is a dramatic update in the morning.

I actually feel emotionally drained right now. I keep almost crying. Pathetic. Probably the wine thats doing that.

I'll be going to bed shortly and i'll update tomorrow if theres anything to add. I reckon they will be up early and go quietly though.

They don't drive a ford ranger (I remember that thread! haven't looked at a ford ranger driver the same since!) Its a bmw something or other.

Dp cleared up the kitchen and 1 dc (dd19) came down and helped, so thats all good. She then came out, gave me a little hug and said DP had explained about the food. She then lit up and offered me a cigarette (WTF! I don't smoke and although had an inkling wasn't sure she did) and said no ones perfect, everyone has failings. Honestly i'm in a parallel universe tonight.

Dp has put most of the beers away in the garage, just left in the fridge what was there. I do wonder if they will take them home.

Heres the first one if anyone wants to catch up as not sure I can give a proper summery right now www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4614982-cf-have-come-to-stay-how-to-handle-it?page=23&reply=119364945

Yes DP said we should definitely tell it how it was to exw if she asks how their visit went. And I’m fairly certain she will.

Glad they have gone op

I wonder if they read your previous thread in bed last night, hence the belated slightly improved attitude!

Holidays are meant to be relaxing at your own expense, not your friends'!

FFS. They are so full of shit you can smell them across the country.

You, my lady, are a legend in your own time. Be very proud of yourself. This thread should definitely be added to Classics. I have an old childhood friend (hardly seen these last few years); he has a lovely lady friend and asked if they could come and stay overnight. Yes of course, said I. When they arrived 2 hours later than arranged (dinner fortunately was one that could wait without spoiling); they had brought friend with them who I had never met as they thought she would like to see place that we live. Utterly gobsmacked, I stretched dinner and made up another bed but have never invited them back.

I'm glad they fucked off early doors, and that the message got through to some extent. I think you've held your ground most impressively and you will no doubt be added to the MN hall of fame.

Enjoy your guest-free day.

Not helping out, even slightly is cheeky but it's the not contributing to food or at a minimum, the alcohol!

Not helping out, even slightly is cheeky but it's the not contributing to food or at a minimum, the alcohol!

Agree with pp, but what's more: you have husband you completely backed you up!

I don't think I've read this on mn before!

I was thinking exactly this.
They are such CF that only stumbling upon the thread would extract the flowers, chocs and thank you to try to play the victims when they badmouth OP to the ex wife and family.

Did they strip the bed? Bet they didn’t!

What people on holiday expect other people to wait on them hand and foot and provide all their food and drink?
Sure, if you've paid for that service. But for free?
I just cannot fathom the mental processes of these people.

so rude of them
what oiks!

Clearly some on this thread behave like CFs themselves if they think good hosting is allowing free loaders. I'm glad OP got rid of them and just sorry she had a bad experience first. Imagine expecting hotel level service while someone is actually working in the house doing an actual job. It beggars belief

So glad they've gone - I've read both threads, and you are obviously a lovely, kind and giving person who's kindness and hospitality were completely abused by these people.

It brought back so many memories for me of my dear Mum - a similarly kind and giving person. Unfortunately Mum and Dad lived in a really beautiful area in the southwest and were always dealing with having people to stay. There were one pair that my Dad nicknamed 'the scoffers' which I think is pretty self-explanatory!!! Another pair had a very entitled wife but a lovely husband. My father was very elderly by this time, and this man always asked in advance what repairs my Mum needed doing and would arrive equipped to deal with her household problems. His wife was the equivalent of your guests - very entitled not helping at all.

The lovely helpful husband died fairly young, and after my parents death his entitled wife used to invite herself to stay with us (we ended up living not far from Mum and Dad when they were alive) - my husband found her disconcerting as she used to like to sit very close to him on the sofa!!!!! Nought so strange as folk!!!!!!!

Have a wonderful, peaceful weekend, OP, you certainly deserve it!!!!

You are amazing OP, as is your DP.
Enjoy your CF-less weekend x

If you go on holiday you pay for a hotel and the restaurant. If you stay with someone as a guest you offer to buy food, help out and so on and appreciate it - you don’t eat food and then not help clear up. It’s revolting their behaviour.

They sound entitled they didn’t ask to come and stay they came and treated you like a 5* holiday with a free bar and food and were rude with it.

the comment about the steaks aside (which was dire) and the fact that they wouldn’t have bothered if they were paying / you don’t get up and not offer to help wash up

• never mind put the blame on you for NOT asking - you shouldn’t need to ask they should have asked to help and tell you to put your feet up


• and have a nice glass of wine whilst they washed up as basic manners for you cooking

You are my hero. I struggle to stand up to people and am a people pleaser. O was cheering you on and love your dp was so supportive. Enjoy your weekend.

Please don’t sugarcoat it either. Tbh if I were you I’d have DH tell her before they have a chance to speak with her and make you out to be the bad guys. (Normally I’d not care what ExW or CFs think, but since there’s kids involved it’s probably best to keep ExW on side.)

@WhenPushComesToShove got a bit excited with posting there it seems!

Who was looking after their kid while they were with you? That adds to the CFery even more!

'Tbh if I were you I’d have DH tell her before they have a chance to speak with her and make you out to be the bad guys'

Good advice