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Original poster

CF Have come to stay - The morning after

638 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 22:33

The first thread is full so I'll start a new one, in case there is a dramatic update in the morning.

I actually feel emotionally drained right now. I keep almost crying. Pathetic. Probably the wine thats doing that.

I'll be going to bed shortly and i'll update tomorrow if theres anything to add. I reckon they will be up early and go quietly though.

They don't drive a ford ranger (I remember that thread! haven't looked at a ford ranger driver the same since!) Its a bmw something or other.

Dp cleared up the kitchen and 1 dc (dd19) came down and helped, so thats all good. She then came out, gave me a little hug and said DP had explained about the food. She then lit up and offered me a cigarette (WTF! I don't smoke and although had an inkling wasn't sure she did) and said no ones perfect, everyone has failings. Honestly i'm in a parallel universe tonight.

Dp has put most of the beers away in the garage, just left in the fridge what was there. I do wonder if they will take them home.

Heres the first one if anyone wants to catch up as not sure I can give a proper summery right now www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4614982-cf-have-come-to-stay-how-to-handle-it?page=23&reply=119364945

OP posts:
StarCourt · 20/08/2022 08:51

Why does everyone suddenly think this is made up?

StarCourt · 20/08/2022 08:51

Why does everyone suddenly think this is made up?

UnagiForLife · 20/08/2022 08:52

Hope you are ok this morning OP and they leave without drama and never darken your door again!

Perhaps a lesson we can all take from this is at the point people are asking to come and stay at your house ask them how long they’re staying for and any more than 3 days is a blanket no unless you know and love them a lot! Just make up some reason they can’t stay for longer and stick to it.

In all honesty I can’t imagine any of my friends or family not saying how long they’ll be staying for if they came to visit but maybe I’m just lucky I don’t know any CFers!

LilliaJones · 20/08/2022 08:52

Shamefully place marking.

Well done OP.

Frannyhy · 20/08/2022 08:52

Is this a reverse? 😉

LilliaJones · 20/08/2022 08:52

Shamefully place marking.

Well done OP.

SummerLobelia · 20/08/2022 08:53

Tiani4 · 20/08/2022 08:44

but am still waiting for my ability to throw people out of the house to develop and show up. I'm 50 and in the grips of menopause so it must be coming along soon.

@SummerLobelia
It's coming....! im 51 and mine arrived ..

I say what I want by thinking out loud

"Well I can't afford & get exhausted by all the visitors that want to stay with me as I live in such a nice area. It's very expensive as some people arrive and expect an all inclusive hotel stay from me who works, am on my own and don't want to spend my savings on visitors. You can stay nearby and we'll meet up for a dinner one night . / I think I could manage you staying 2 nights but you'd need to buy the takeaway/ food for the second night and bring a couple bottles.. I'll cook a meal first night. "

I am so looking forward to it coming!!

I have so many stories. I'd out myself if I went through them all. However one lovely standout exception was about 10 years ago when one member of a group who stayed was clearly mortifed at how people were behaving and when he left he went out for about 10 minutes, came back, silently handed me 3 bottles of Veurve Cliquot, and waved goodbye with a rueful smile.

None of these are paying guests mind, just people we vaguely know or friends of friends who when DH was a bachelor got into the habit of 'crashing' at his because it was such a great location.

Ws2210 · 20/08/2022 08:53

Am I the only one who thinks it would have been better to sit then down and say, 'would you mind getting dinner in tonight, we've done it for the last 4 nights and our budget is a bit short. Thank you'

Not saying they're not CF, but direct communication is always better.

sashh · 20/08/2022 08:56

OP

I only read your posts on the previous thread but my god, this was better than a live parking thread.

When I read your first post I thought, "well I usually get a gift for my hosts at the end of my stay" but then my jaw hit the floor.

Ithinkitsenoughnow · 20/08/2022 08:56

Ws2210 · 20/08/2022 08:53

Am I the only one who thinks it would have been better to sit then down and say, 'would you mind getting dinner in tonight, we've done it for the last 4 nights and our budget is a bit short. Thank you'

Not saying they're not CF, but direct communication is always better.

I agree. Asking for an expensive item eg steaks is not really on either

these people are CF yes but elements of this story go too far. Like hiding the breakfast they’ve paid for

Ithinkitsenoughnow · 20/08/2022 08:57

Ws2210 · 20/08/2022 08:53

Am I the only one who thinks it would have been better to sit then down and say, 'would you mind getting dinner in tonight, we've done it for the last 4 nights and our budget is a bit short. Thank you'

Not saying they're not CF, but direct communication is always better.

I agree. Asking for an expensive item eg steaks is not really on either

these people are CF yes but elements of this story go too far. Like hiding the breakfast they’ve paid for

bringbackveronicamars · 20/08/2022 08:57

Ws2210 · 20/08/2022 08:53

Am I the only one who thinks it would have been better to sit then down and say, 'would you mind getting dinner in tonight, we've done it for the last 4 nights and our budget is a bit short. Thank you'

Not saying they're not CF, but direct communication is always better.

I think in a perfect world with normal but obtuse 'guests' yes, of course.

But when you are dealing with what are clearly Cheeky Entitled Brass-Necked Fuckers who feel entitled to holiday at someone else's expense (accommodation, food, drink, not lifting a finger), such a request wouldn't work and you'd still be stuck with them and their phony outrage at being asked.

Indigoo03 · 20/08/2022 08:59

Will this hit 1000 before OP returns?

Georgeskitchen · 20/08/2022 09:01

A brilliant and very entertaining hide-behind-the sofa type thread. @SeriouslyLosingTheWill I want to come and stay with you, actually I want to marry you 😍🤣🤣🤣🤣
Of course the usual Mn misery mongers have crawled out of their holes to pour cold water on it. I believe its a genuine thread but if it isn't........who cares?
Not me!!

Skatewing · 20/08/2022 09:03

Hopefully they have left.

Piccy · 20/08/2022 09:04

Not saying they're not CF, but direct communication is always better

Only with reasonable people. CF's only understand their own language. And let's face it, if they were remotely reasonable they would have at least been warm and open towards OP, which they haven't been - and of course turned up with a bottle of wine/flowers.

GoneWithTheWine1 · 20/08/2022 09:06

Have the CFS left? I can't believe they expected you to pay and didn't help clean up!

Maybe you should send them a bill when they've gone. Grin

PuttingOnMyBestBra · 20/08/2022 09:06

Indeed @Ws2210 , but where would be the drama in that? We need the outrage, the gasps of horror, the massive slap on the back for the OP
Come on, it's the summer holidays, we need an outlet

GoneWithTheWine1 · 20/08/2022 09:06

Have the CFS left? I can't believe they expected you to pay and didn't help clean up!

Maybe you should send them a bill when they've gone. Grin

MajorCarolDanvers · 20/08/2022 09:06

@SeriouslyLosingTheWill

You have dealt with this so amazingly well.

Its so important that you did deal with this. It will feel raw for a while but it would have rankled for far longer if you hadn't said anything.

You've done the right and been incredibly dignified about it too.

JuneOsborne · 20/08/2022 09:07

Anyone else wondering if the CF wife is mumsneter? Could be interesting....

CiderWithLizzie · 20/08/2022 09:08

Come back OP!

TheUsualChaos · 20/08/2022 09:09

Just caught up on last night's events. Cannot believe Mrs CFs comment about how they wouldn't have bought steaks if they knew they were paying! Unreal! So basically they would have just bought something really cheap but fine for you for fork out for the good stuff! Just can't get over that!

Like others have said I would love to know how long this would have gone if you hadn't nipped it in the bud but of course you had to put an end to their absolute piss taking. Well done!

LookItsMeAgain · 20/08/2022 09:11

EmmaGrundyForPM · 20/08/2022 04:33

My sister is like this. Comes to stay with husband and 2 kids for a week, doesn't contribute to the food or drink. Drives me mad. They have much more money than us - own 2 houses, kids in private school etc. One time they stayed for two weeks, I did all the cooking (tbf, I like cooking so that's not an issue) so dsis suggested we all go to a restaurant one evening. I assumed she was offering to pay but when the bill came she split it down the middle.

Either or both of you or your DH let her though. The way to deal with that is to keep your money in your pocket and say "Aww thanks so much Sis for paying for one of the dinners over the 2 weeks stay that you've had. That's mighty generous of you. Thanks so much".

Cheeky fuckers like the OP's guests or your sister get away with it because people like you, let them.

custardbear · 20/08/2022 09:11

Holy shit! I've only read your comments but FFS how rude of them and clearly they're professionals at it so guess they've done this to others too - perhaps you're the ex-family victims as the family know their game!
Is your DH going to speak to his ex wife?