DW wants a cleaner

[lightcurtains]

We've just had a baby a few weeks ago.
I am going back to work next week.
DW wants us to hire a cleaner while she is on mat leave to come in each week.

I don't like the thought of someone I don't know in the house going into each room etc, so I've never really liked the thought of having a cleaner.

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable?

"believe me when I say it’s not possible to look after a baby and do all the cleaning"

Sorry buy this is not true.

Again, if you can afford a cleaner, go for it! It makes life easier.
But there is plenty of people not able to afford a cleaner and we can tell you...it is actually not that difficult. Quality of life is worse, but what can we do?

MN is such a strange word. 50% of threads are like "we gonna freeze this winter!" And other half is "you cannot survive without a cleaner"

The OP is recovering from a c section and Bf.

She already does half the cleaning

@Topgub
It varies. At the moment as I am still recovering from a c section (which has had lots of complications so is taking longer than expected) so I can't Hoover etc or bend down properly. But usually we both share all of the housework.
At the moment I'm doing the things I can manage. And DW is doing the hoovering, changing bedding etc.

This! 😂

If I had the money I'd have a cleaner. Once they've been there a few times your wife will know them, problem solved.

It's not whether she has the time to clean as well as being on maternity leave; it's the sheer fucking drudgery of doing it. If you can afford a cleaner then get one. It will make your lives easier and there will be no resentment that one or other is expected to do it.

I always had a cleaner once a fortnight from when kids were tiny. We were both earning and both hated cleaning. It's all about what you want to prioritise in terms of spending. If you get a good cleaner, it shouldn't matter if you are home or not when they clean. I just gave ours a key. You could always try it and see if it works out ok. Depends on the cleaner - I did have some dodgy ones that just seemed to like tidying but not so much cleaning!

If you can afford a cleaner, I would hire one. It’s exhausting looking after a new baby.

@lightcurtains

I meant the same amount of leave but I see you've answered you earn more so are going back sooner.

Really, if your wife overcame the discomfort of strangers looking at her fanny while pushing your child out, I think you’ll overcome the ‘discomfort’ of someone running a duster of inanimate objects in your house. You can always stipulate that the sex room be out of bounds to the cleaner.

I'd feel more comfortable if DW was at home while the cleaner was here I think.

This could be another good compromise so that you both are happy?

I've mentioned the one to exlcude the cleaner from the bedroom.

Another one could be to agree it's for a finite length of time, and can be reviewed then. Maybe 6 months?

@BeechFairy
Thank you. I'm not entirely sure really.
The bathroom. Hoovering. Cleaning the laminate flooring.
We seem to clean the kitchen every day as it needs it so maybe the kitchen but we would continue to do that in between.

I like to do all of the clothes washing so I'd continue doing that. I'm not sure if cleaners even do washing clothes but I always prefer to do that.
They probably wouldn't need to do much really.
We have a dog so floor needs hoovering every day anyway which we do.

I suppose we would still be cleaning regardless of having a cleaner.
I imagine the cleaner would just be giving it a deeper clean than us when they're here?

You might want to read the OP's comments. You've made yourself look a bit of an idiot.

I think you’ll find the op had the baby surgically removed via CS. Her fanny wasn’t the exit point.

No one saw the OP wife's fanny

Its absolutely fine to be in the house when a cleaner is there. If you prefer that, you could ask your wife if she can be there the first few times. I think thats normal amyway till the cleaner knows your house and what you want a bit better

@BeechFairy
It also sounds like it was a big help for you at a time you needed it most. So I'm glad it helped you. And I hope you're better now. 🌺

I'm not usually an advocate of Make A List of Jobs! but this might actually be a good case for it.

You need a list of all the housework jobs that need doing daily/weekly and then split them into:

• jobs you can't do at the moment because of surgery


• jobs that DW won't be able to do with baby in tow


• jobs that you or DW can do evenings/weekends while the other looks after the baby

If you can get a fair balance between you after that, then maybe that will persuade your DW that you don't need a cleaner. If you identify some jobs that neither you can do at the moment without it skewing really unfairly, then either you can pick up a different sort of house job (so DW does more cleaning and you do bins/garden/whatever) or you groups those jobs into something a cleaner could do.

Our cleaner comes while I'm WFH and cleans the kitchen and the bathroom and mops and hoovers the hard floors. Those are all jobs that I hate doing. My DH and I split the rest pretty much equally - we have a 3yo.

Hoovering. Cleaning the laminate flooring.

Robotic vacuums and mops might also be a help/compromise?

@AgentJohnson
It was actually my fanny that was being looked at by strangers but thank you for your comment.

For those commenting on my Fanny .. it was looked at and prodded several times. I was fully dilated so many hands also went up there to check dilation .. I then had an emergency c section.
Hope this helps clarify.

We've had a cleaner for about 5 years now and it's amazing! She's become a part of our family and it's actually nice to have a bit of company when you're on mat leave. I always do a pre-tidy before she comes over so she doesn't have to pick my underwear off the floor etc. There is still plenty of housework to do even without a full weekly cleaning!

Uplifting and heartwarming to hear such concern for the OP fanny and fanny health

OP, just have your DW in the house while the cleaner is there. Problem solved. You asked if that’s an issue and no, it isn’t an issue at all. If the cleaner has an issue with it, they’re not the cleaner for you. And if anything, I would expect someone with an infant to occasionally be home when the cleaner is, anyway - infants have their own schedules and cannot just be awakened, plopped in the pram, and packed up every week, just because the cleaner is coming at 2. What an unnecessary faff. I’m disabled so I’m always here when the cleaner is; she couldn’t care less. I do try to stay in one place while she’s here so I’m not constantly getting in her way, but otherwise, shrug.

@Morred
This sounds like a good idea. Thank you.
We'll sit down and do this so we can sort out what to do next and what we need help with etc.