To think we don't need a formula feeding month

[LilacSky95]

I have seen a couple of mum 'influencers' on Instagram writing posts about how it's not fair we have breastfeeding month when so many mums can't/didn't breastfeed, and we should start a formula feeding month too.

AIBU to think this is totally unnecessary?

Disclaimer - Not looking to start a breast v bottle debate

The lack of help for FF and the push for BF as the ONLY acceptable way to feed is absolutely negligent.
I had twins. I breastfed them for 5 months. Have you ever tried to BF twins? There is no way to do it discreetly. You have to lift your entire top. My babies both lost so much weight by day 7 we were sent to A and E who told me I HAD to give them a bottle or they would been to be admitted. But they couldn't provide formula, that's not allowed. So we had to find an open supermarket at 10.30pm. I combined fed for 3 days, they regained the weight and the HV told me to stop FF. They lost weight again, I saw lactation Consultants, was on domperidone for months. We had both of them privately fixed for tbeir tongue tie. I had to weight them before each breast feed, them weight them each afterwards, and calculate how much more formula they needed based on grams of weight gain. Every 2 hours. And pump after each feed. Throughout the night too.
I couldn't leave the house. I was bullied by every health visitor and midwife I saw into believing if I didn't do this insane ritual my babies would somehow be harmed. I developed PND. Every other mum I knew bar 1 who had babies at the same time BF and I felt awful to even WANT to quit even though it was dragging me into a dark hole of despair. I know PP see saying FF is the norm but I guarantee in my peer group it London it absolutely isn't.
And I kept this up for 5 FUCKING LONG DARK BLACK TRAPPED MONTHS because of all the pressure.
When 1 of my babies was blue lighted to hospital with bronchiolitis at 5 months I literally broke down to the pediatrician saying it must be my fault because I hadn't managed to EBF and was having to do formula top ups.
The pediatrician sat me down and told me this was crazy. It would not have made a blind bit of difference and it was fine to switch to formula right away if I wanted to.
I did that day. The only thing I regret was not doing it sooner. It took over my life and stopped me bonding with my babies in the early months.
I still get anxiety if I think back to those awful days.
So while I totally agree with their being a need for more BF help and promotion, the bullies who constantly shove "breast is best" down new mums throats or decide that midwives aren't allowed to give impartial help with FF can fuck off.

Haha so true

I don't have twins but I relate so much to that and so much is similar to my experience.
You are not alone in feeling like this and I especially relate to being dragged back into that put even though feeding is behind us now.
I think it's great someone in the NHS eventually told the truth, though it's a shame they could have saved you so much pain by admitting it earlier.

So many comments on here saying 'not to promote formula feeding but......'
Why not 'promote' formula feeding as a perfectly normal way to feed a child? And OP this vey much sounds like trying to engage breast v bottle

I don't think you need a FF month as others say it will just be used by companies for promotion which they aren't allowed to do for first milks.

I understand the point of bf month it's because rates are low and many women before bf feel self conscious about it and many have been subjected to comments or worse.

I personally believe that supported is best. That a mum has the required help whatever she chooses sadly this doesn't happen.

I've been in baby groups and many ff mums straight away feel the need to defend their reasons for bottle feeding when I start bf. I mostly fins it sad that they feel they need to explain when I haven't said anything. My usual response is I have no idea how you do it I am so disorganised I would never leave the house and would have a screaming baby constantly from getting timings wrong!

I've found that can help put minds at ease and soften any nervousness and it's completely true I would completely suck at it!

Thanks for your kind words @DobbyHasASock I'm sorry you experienced similar. Im finding all the minimising on this thread of why people might need support with FF really upsetting

Yes, I find this particular topic seems to attract people who think because they were lucky and able to bf they are somehow qualified to say it's easy for everyone.
I.e dicks.
I find it very triggering but feel I need to say something because we're largely voiceless and people chose to ignore the inconvenient details like illness, disability, pnd etc.

Well just formula feed then- no-one cares, the only judgement around it is your own. Honestly I just see this as creating problems for the sake of it. I’ve had 3 myself, I don’t understand all the angst and never will.

No, we don't don't need a FF month, but we do definitely need to acknowledge that parents who choose/need to use formula also need support and advice. The newborn days can be so hard. Deliberately trying to make it harder for mothers to FF, doesn't and won't improve BF rates anyway. It just adds a touch of unnecessary misery to the difficult early days and weeks, I would imagine.

Hv, go, lactation consultant, midwife. All regularly judged and commented for seven months and I was actively trying to bf.
Id hate to see what they'd do if you just went straight to FF.

Lack of empathy astounding.

if nobody cares why has a breastfeeding mum started up a thread specifically to say mums making a different feeding choice shouldnt have their own month raising awareness?

@Dajeeling your post is supremely dismissive. You don't understand all the angst. Good for you. If you would like to understand it why not read some of the posts explaining it?

I hardly know anyone who BF when I had my children and at all of baby groups I went to, everyone was FF.
I was the one who was odd and people made horrible comments.
I think mother’s should stop putting pressure on themselves, nobody really cares. Maybe there should be a campaign to stop judging mother’s.

@Faciadipasta

Not twins but I totally empathise with your post.

I feel like I'd been brainwashed into pursuing breastfeeding far beyond what was healthy for my baby or me; the relentless feeding and pumping cycle meant I essentially just didn't sleep.
I can guarantee having a suicidal depressed mother is definitely far worse for a baby's development than formula will ever be!

@Dajeeling

Whole bloody books and bodies of research have been written about the biopsychosocial models behind breastfeeding guilt and trauma.
Just because you personally don't understand it does not been it is not a well recognised and complex phenomenon.

Because for health reasons breast milk is the best source of nutrition for a baby.

Yes formula isn’t poison, but it is a substitute for breast milk.

Marketing laws do not allow for formula to be advertised because by doing so it is promoting a substandard source of nutrition for babies (not my words) meaning babies do not receive what is considered to be the best source of nutrition - breast milk.

In the same way that adverts for seeets and McDonald’s etc are no longer shown on TV, because they can’t advertise food that comes with possible health problems, or, as in the case of formula, be advertising the use of a product that takes away the health benefits of other sources of nutrition, like breast milk.

FWIW, I work in infant feeding and although I don’t promote the use of formula I will ALWAYS give support and information to any mothers who are bottle feeding. I am classed as an Infant Feeding Specialist and that to me means I am there to support mothers regardless of which method they choose to feed their baby. If I was only there to support breast feeding mothers then I would be called a breast feeding specialist.

On the unit where I work I can safely say that although we support and assist with breastfeeding we are also happy to support and give information to mothers regarding formula too.

There is a big difference between promoting formula and providing information about formula feeding on and I do not think there is anything wrong with the latter and it saddens me to think that some women don’t receive this guidance and advice from the HCPs.

I've seen lots in the past.

I'm not sure what you mean about 1yos drinking milk. Well, they can but many mums give them 'follow on' milk or breast feed them. But that's not really relevant. It's not about pretending formula doesn't exist but it being normalised over breastfeeding. What I said was it was against the law not that companies are out to get you.

And just from personal experience if you do breastfeed past 6 months/1 year you are often made to feel a bit 'wierd' as everyone expects you to have 'moved on' to a bottle.

If you believe women have the right to choose how to feed, then neither should be ‘prioritised’ over the other. Just information given and then support them in their decision. At the end of the day the health benefits are negligible and therefore not worth anyone getting too upset over.

Absolutely. I have two children and breast fed them until they were just under 3 and people were horrified. The looks and comments I used to get were very upsetting as they couldn’t understand they weren’t just having cow’s milk.

I asked them why they thought giving my child milk that’s been extracted from a cow was better for them than human milk and they obviously had no answer.

It’s all about social norms and sadly we have a long way to go until breastfeeding becomes “normal” and accepted without any judgements from others.

@DreamToNightmare what’s that got to do with this thread? It’s about formula feeding.

Of course you are trying to start a breast v bottle debate 🙄

At the end of the day the health benefits are negligible and therefore not worth anyone getting too upset over.

Long term, maybe.

But the benefits of breast milk over formula during the first 6-12 months of life can’t really be argued, for many reasons, but especially in relation to how it protects the baby’s digestive system and how it improves the immune system.

This is why formula cannot be advertised because the companies would be promoting and profiting from a product that deprives young infants of numerous health benefits.

I was replying to a comment made by someone else.

They have been argued, and studied, many times. The benefit is so small it can only be seen when studying hundreds of thousands of infants. It really isn’t anything to get upset about, and the babies aren’t being ‘deprived’. Much more important are genetics, diet, exercise, mental health etc.