To think we don't need a formula feeding month

[LilacSky95]

I have seen a couple of mum 'influencers' on Instagram writing posts about how it's not fair we have breastfeeding month when so many mums can't/didn't breastfeed, and we should start a formula feeding month too.

AIBU to think this is totally unnecessary?

Disclaimer - Not looking to start a breast v bottle debate

It doesn’t make anyone second class, I have 3 and the one I swapped on to formula doesn’t stand out in anyway 😄

I have never once seen an advert like that. Over 1s should still be drinking milk anyway, and even bfing mums give their kids dairy in some form. I really don’t understand what the issue is. I find this ‘shut down any advertising, let’s pretend formula doesn’t exist, the companies are out to get you’ to be really controlling.

I think the every mother can bf and every infant can too bullshit should go for a start.
It's hard not to blame yourself if you are being bombarded by messages of it just takes time. Nope. Seven months trying. Just try x holds etc. Work through the pain, all mums produce enough milk etc.

Whoever says every Mother/Baby can is a idiot

I think it's a great idea. There are so many mothers out there who feel pressured to start/continue breastfeeding, usually to the detriment of their own mental health, and it might reassure them that there's a perfectly acceptable alternative out there.

No, something that needs physical and practical support cannot be done through Google.

Also BF rates in this country are abysmally low. It’s also about raising awareness of the benefits, support (which is shit but anyway), resources and reasons to BF. On a population health level it’s in the interest of NHS/Government to support and promote BF. Meaning it’s not in their interest to promote FF. not that it needs prompting anyway!

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet theres only so much breastfeeding advice that can be given, there’s no golden bullet and sometimes you can exhaust everything and it doesn’t work out and nobody knows why. Most of the routine advice can be given online.

Whilst I don't feel strongly about a formula feeding month, i do strongly believe there is a need for more advice and support for bottle feeding parents.

It's so saddening to read so many comments here brushing off real people who have said they would appreciate more support. If real women are telling you they couldn't get the information they needed from Google, that their health visitors and midwives were not allowed to give advice or support, that they were shamed in public (as I was by two strangers) and that they suffered guilt, depression and anguish - why isn't that reason enough?

No one is denying the challenges breastfeeding mothers face or wanting to strip away or divert support, but you don't have to brush aside one demographic to support another.

And how do we know rates of breastfeeding are low in the UK? The latest data is a decade old and numbers were climbing then

Which is why so much physical support is needed rather than just going ‘oh well what can be done, off to Google you go!’.

Getting BF right isn’t a case of being objective.

Getting FF right is.

You really think that it has changed much in just a decade? The fact that formula companies are making more money than ever tells you everything you need to know. They make money off the back of women not BFing.

When you say shamed in public what do you mean?

What support do FFers need that they can’t get off the NHS website or Google?

Also, it would be SO helpful in promoting safe and effective formula feeding to new parents. There's so much conflicting information out there about things like pre-making bottles, whether to use boiling or cool, boiled water, the types of teats and when to change them, how to sterilise properly. As a struggling, first time mother with a baby who wouldn't feed I found it incredibly upsetting to have a midwife who simply shrugged her shoulders and told me she couldn't help with anything related to formula. I spent hours scouring the Internet for tips.

Here's the thing though so many FF mothers take offence to bf promotion like it's about them, it isn't aimed at you and it isn't a dig at you.

The first time I ever bf in public was in a large cafe, late afternoon. The cafe was mostly empty and I choose a corner booth at the very back, with loads of empty tables around it. My DD was crying/hungry, I put on my bf scarf and began to feed her looking around to make sure no one could see, not that there was anything to see I was fully covered. I began to relax and was eating a sandwich. The booth was beside the bathrooms. An older woman approached to use the bathroom, she spotted me and leaned in and told me "you know they have rooms for doing that" I said I was fine and she bunched up her nose and said "but people are eating and don't want to see it" I was mortified, I was only 18 and hadn't been out of the house in 3 months long enough to need to feed in public, I had built myself up and told myself no one would say anything but in that moment I wished I was invisible. I stopped feeding and quickly left, for the next 3 months I scheduled any necessary trips out of the house around DDs feeding schedule, I felt utterly trapped and secluded and depressed. I was diagnosed with pnd at 6 months and switched to combi feeding so I could get out of the house more.
With DD2 I was armed with breast pump so I'd never have to feed publicly but I still barely left the house just incase and began combi feeding at 6 months again.
I've had friends and family so uncomfortable with bf that they'd only pop round if baby wasn't due a feed and if I needed to feed while they were there they'd leave the room or say they had to go. If I was in my mums house and DD fussed she'd immediately direct me to an empty room. I dealt with so many backhanded "questions" asking why I would bf, from people who thought it was disgusting or why I wouldn't just give her a bottle, was told I was looking for attention by being awkward/difficult by choosing a method that made everyone else uncomfortable when it wasn't necessary.
I'm in my 30's now with dd3 she's 7 weeks old and again ebf, I've already had a friend suggest we meet for coffee when I've weaned dd3 off bf, cause god forbid I take a bf baby with me to a cafe and do that in public.

My point is bf awareness is needed because at the moment it's still seen as shameful, something that needs to be hidden away and not seen. The more the public is exposed to bf as a norm the less uncomfortable they'll be when they see it. The breast is best campaign not only encourages women to try to bf but also, hopefully, educates the public as a whole about why a woman would choose to breastfeed and drums the message that it is normal and not something to be hidden away, even my mum is starting to come round to it, never thought I'd see it lol, she still gets uncomfortables seeing it but she's at least more encouraging and understanding than she was 13 years ago and that's largely due to these bf campaign's. Ff mums are not the target of bf campaigns, & it's so odd to me that people that claim to have wanted to bf but unfortunately could not would then take offense to something that promotes bf acceptance and prevents mothers being made to feel ashamed to feed their babies. If your breastfeeding journey had gone differently and it worked out would you still be defensive about efforts made to help normalise breastfeeding?

Love this post ❤️

My point is bf awareness is needed

But that’s not the topic of this thread. The topic is whether there should be a formula feeding awareness month. The OP (who I assume doesn’t FF) has gone out of her way to say there shouldn’t be. So it’s the bfing mother’s feeling invalidated here and interfering in something that’s not to do with them.

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet I had a woman come up to me in cafe Nero when I was bottle feeding my baby and shout at me that I should at least try to breastfeed and that I was letting my baby down. I had a man approach me on a bench and tell me it was not natural to use a bottle. Oh I also had a pair of acquaintances in a restaurant tell me in front of a group say that they don't know why any educated woman would ever not breastfeed.

I have to keep repeating that this does not detract from the challenges breastfeeding women face, but does contradict the many comments here claiming that formula feeders face no stigma. No matter what you do, you're subject to people's judgement .

To add to that, it wouldn’t be about ‘making formula feeding socially acceptable’ it would be about answering all the questions mums have about bottle feeding which midwives and health visitors currently refuse to answer. Like the ones in my post upthread.

@Wouldloveanother I totally agree. It blows my mind that healthcare professionals absolutely point blank refuse to provide advice that keeps babies safely fed . It felt negligent to me.

My earlier reply stated why I don't think formula feeding needs awareness ... its simply because its already the norm .. you could read my earlier reply, its on page 8 but people were asking why should bf get a month and not ff so I was addressing why bf needs more awareness

It is negligent! I see no reason why there can’t be more information about correct formula feeding whilst also supporting and highlighting the benefits of breastfeeding. It isn’t either/or. And I’m stumped as to how some posters on here support ‘women’s right to choose how to feed’ yet feel they should be nudged to the ‘right’ decision by withholding information from them.

Every hv, every midwife and every GP for me. A lactation consultant, private, too.

But you haven’t formula fed so what right to you have to suggest it should be taken away from others? You don’t ‘know’ what they need because you haven’t done it.

But I have FF I said in my earlier reply I FF both my older kids from 6 months

If you can't comprehend some of the problems that formula feeding mothers might face, both practical and emotional, then you must have a serious lack of imagination and empathy. Telling a FF mother to "read the fucking tin" is the same as telling a BF mother "just stick your fucking tit in the kid's mouth."

There's a myriad of conflicting, and dangerously inorrect, advice out there regarding formula feeding, especially online. For a worried young mother with no real life support that's very hard. I would sit in tears fretting over whether I was using the right formula, whether the teats were too big for the baby, whether I was keeping the bottles out for too long, whilst my midwife simply shrugged at me. With a huge poster promoting a fucking breastfeeding cafe plastered on the wall behind her.^^