To have reacted as I did to random man?

[surreygirl1987]

Was walking down the road earlier, near my house. Was pretty cheerful - my A Level class has done really well (teacher, results' day), it was sunny, life felt good. I was minding my own business when a man across the road yelled 'looking good, love!' at me.

I know it was intended as a compliment, but I hate this sort of thing - I feel objectified and angry that women are viewed as objects to aesthetically please men. So I stopped, took my sunglasses off, and said 'seriously - what is wrong with some men?' He said 'what are you on about?' and I said I don't appreciate been yelled at and objectified by random strangers when I'm just minding my own business. We went back and forth like this briefly, and he got pretty angry and called me a 'stuck up cow' before storming off.

I know it's not the worst thing in the world he could have done, and he was clearly complimenting me, but am I unreasonable to hate it, and to tell him I don't want that sort of attention? For me it was the equivalent to being wolf-whisted at. What do others think? Was I unfair?

I also got told 'slow down love' when I was walking past a man's stall at a car boot sale last weekend

I posted the other day I got similar when walking past the open door of a restaurant (without the love bit ;) ) I pretended I hadn't heard. Do men not like it when women walk fast or what?

OP I think you reacted very well and he was a toss pot!

You really otherthink don't you...?

I'm not sure why you find other womens (perfectly valid) opinions "disappointing"....you come across as very self righteous.

Wow. Revolting ageism. I'm 52 and it's still a problem.

They just feel entitled to continually comment and judge on girls and women.

Because they're pathetic inadequates.

Such a weird overreaction to a compliment....

Maybe you'll tell the wrong person to "go and fuck yourself" one day.

You sound far from "vulnerable" from the (vile) language you seem so proud of....

Such a weird overreaction to a compliment....

I think you'll find it's the person on the receiving end who gets to decide whether comments are a 'compliment' or not.

@Rottenpumpkin -
It's not a compliment.

How desperate for male validation are you? Seriously, it’s 2022, I don’t understand your reaction at all. I really hope you don’t have kids. Attitudes like this need to die out.

Most women do not want random men shouting things at them in the street. It doesn’t matter if it’s a ‘compliment’. We are not interested in strangers’ opinions on our appearance. We do not share your hunger for male approval.

And the world has not ‘gone mad’ because women are challenging the things they don’t like instead of scuttling off. That’s progress.

Does that clarify things for you?

This is so grotesque.

If only harassment and assault had an age cut off point.

This catcalling is NOT about compliments. They don't think you're hot or beautiful or gorgeous. They think you're there for them to exercise their perceived entitlement to be arrogant and sexist. The sooner some women wise up and stop acting like a clippie from on The Buses the better.

Why is an unsolicited judgement from a man "a compliment"?.

So, she can’t find other women disappointing, but you can find her self righteous? Some strong logical thinking, there. You appear to really underthink things.

Well, between this and your comment on OP’s age you come across as revoltingly ageist and a bit stupid. As we’re sharing our views.

Complete ott reaction, be thankful you'd had a nice day. For some people this would be the least of their worries.

A compliments a compliment at the end of the day in my mind.
I'd probably just have smiled and carried on.
All this overthinking and over reaction wouldn't be worth my time!

A man who is a stranger yelling a personal judgemental comment is not a compliment for most girls and women, but irritating and annoying at least, uncomfortable and threatening at worst.
You like it? Fine. She doesn't.

I stopped getting those kinds of comments and whistles about 10 years ago (first time when I was about 13) but I still get nervous and walk with my head down if I approach a bunch of builders or men drinking outside the pub. How dare they make us feel like this. You did well. Maybe he’ll think again about comments like that.

OK I'm sure "Go and fuck yourself" is a reasonable response to someone telling you you look nice....lol

How is "looking good" not a compliment in your warped little world?

What on earth are you talking about? You hope I don't have children? What an absurd comment and extremely rude and unnecessary.

I don't NEED male validation, but am happy to accept a compliment - be it from a man or a woman. A lady walking by told me this morning that I looked "fabulous" (I'm wearing quite a bright jumpsuit), and that also made me smile. I don't see the issue at all. A compliment is a compliment. Why make it into "objectification"?

I seem "a bit stupid" do I....?

You seem like a VERY stupid and miserable individual.

How the fuck can I be ageist when I'm older than the OP?

Have a serious word with your deeply unhappy self.

Oh ffs...is everything so bloody serious and sinister in your brain?

I'd hate to be you.

That cactus 🌵 must be really uncomfortable being lodged where the sun don't shine.

So sad to read the people here telling women not to react to men who shout at them and if they do, to consider themselves lucky they aren’t being subject to violence from these random men.

Because that’s the valid next step, is it?

Man doesn’t get the reaction he wants, so man shouts abuse, and then if he still doesn’t get what he wants, man gets violent. And it would be the woman’s fault for daring to object to being shouted at 😒

What was the harm then? The shouting across was a tad unnecessary but beyond that, he could've equally said it to a man who had a fresh haircut or nice trainers.