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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said something?!

284 replies

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:21

At the supermarket earlier, and parked in a parent and child space with DH and 10 month old DS.

As I was getting DS out of the car a car pulled into the parent and child space next to us, and a woman got out and started walking towards the supermarket without any kids.

I called after her and said "You know you've parked in a P&C space, yeah?" and she started huffing and puffing that she had her son with her, who was in the car. I pointed out that the spaces are for parents with children who need the extra room to get them out of the car, and then she said that her son was disabled and that she had a disabled badge. I then said that the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park, at which point she started getting her son out of the car and telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I'm just so sick of entitled fuckers using these spaces without any need to when I've often struggled trying to get DS out of his car seat without sufficient space.

DH was mortified and said I should have just left it.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Sartre · 18/08/2022 19:56

I’d be mortified if my DH did this so I feel very sorry for yours.

Georgeskitchen · 18/08/2022 19:57

I used to be a supervisor at a well known supermarket. The amount of people who used to come and start complaining that people had parked in the parents and children spaces was unreal. They wanted to know what I was going to do about it. To which I replied nothing because although they are lazy bellends it's not illegal for them to park there.
As my mum would always say......look before you leap or you will be the one looking like a bellend

helpamom · 18/08/2022 19:58

So she did have a child with her?? I hate people like you, mind your own business. Even if she didn't have a child, she could've been pregnant, pregnant women are allowed to use those bays!

RudsyFarmer · 18/08/2022 19:58

Honestly this stuff is never worth it.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 18/08/2022 20:00

Mind your own business! You were parked, so do your shopping and stop causing hold ups and free up the space you had quicker.

Did you get paid by the supermarket for your policing efforts?

LondonLovie · 18/08/2022 20:02

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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 18/08/2022 20:03

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:59

OK, so I appreciate that the general consensus is that I was in the wrong. But surely the point is that, disabled or not, the extra space isn't needed if the person isn't actually getting out of the car? I don't for one minute think that P&C spaces are a God-given right, and I wouldnt mind if they were miles away from the store. However, my experience is that the extra space is needed to get my baby out of the car without damaging the car door/other cars parked next to me. I guess I was just so fed up of seeing people park in these spaces without a need to and I exploded. I certainly won't be doing it again!@Pink15 - thanks so much for appreciating where I was coming from!

Well if you need extra space, go to the furthest part of the car park and park there and walk to the store.... or does having a baby mean you can't walk?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 18/08/2022 20:04

*you will have plenty of space far away from the store!

chilliesandspices · 18/08/2022 20:04

I see so many people in range rovers with empty child seats using those spaces where I am. I walk from a further space but then that's because I'm not a lazy bastard. I don't think your being unreasonable to question a solo shopper using those spaces. Clearly the commenters here are the type to think that having a child makes them entitled to use the spaces, regardless of whether they need to get a child out of the car or not.

GlitchStitch · 18/08/2022 20:05

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This. Not surprised your husband was mortified at you.

custardbear · 18/08/2022 20:09

Pink15 · 18/08/2022 18:52

I agree with you OP. It's irrelevant who was in the car if she was the only one getting out. She personally didn't need a closer spot or more room to get herself out the car

What if she was going to get a trolley to put the child into? Also they're close to the shop so safer and more visual.
Stop policing things that are not your business

PinkButtercups · 18/08/2022 20:10

You were incredibly rude. Disabled people are also entitled to use the spaces if there isn't any disabled spaces.

Why would you be so worked up about it? I know the struggles of getting children in the car but you can't police the space. Just get over it!

thesurrealist · 18/08/2022 20:13

The only thing she is unreasonable about is not telling you to fuck off or ignoring you completely.

itsgettingweird · 18/08/2022 20:14

BB holders can use any space if they display their BB.

However - you are only meant to use a space for BB and with a BB if the disabled person is getting out of the vehicle or you are parking to collect the person who owns the BB.

So actually - it doesn't sound like she should have been using it in this instance.

I wouldn't have said anything though, wouldn't have moved them on when they said they have a BB - but as the parent of a BB holder I have to say I haven't and wouldn't abuse the system. I just don't worry anymore when others do (that's any system!)

Cas112 · 18/08/2022 20:15

Your being really unreasonable there

Ladybug14 · 18/08/2022 20:15

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:43

To be clear, I didn't know she had a child with her. It just looked like she had left her car parked in the space to nip in to the shops!

Check before you start making a tit of yourself

SavingsThreads · 18/08/2022 20:16

I don't see how posters have concluded you're in the wrong. She didn't need a P&C space.

This happens sometimes though, the tone of the thread is set by the first few posters then everyone piles on.

Grumpypants78 · 18/08/2022 20:17

Oh my you didn't have a go at a mum picking up a few bits of shopping with her disabled child. You need to have a word with yourself. That poor kid having to be dragged round the shop because of the mental lady. I feel for your DH he must have been mortified!

vodkaredbullgirl · 18/08/2022 20:17

Not had 1 of these posts for awhile.

ittakes2 · 18/08/2022 20:25

I am sorry but you can tell you have a very young child - new mums can be entitled and think the world is only about new babies.
Its parent and child section not new mum wants more room for car seat.
Its a shorter walking distance to the shop - so children don't have to walk as far or dodge as many cars.
And very appropriate for a parent to leave a child in the car as its usually closer to the door.
The spaces are wider so no reason why it should effect you.
I thought you were going to complain an adult without a child parked there - not a parent with a child.

vipersnest1 · 18/08/2022 20:29

@Briony22, you are so ignorant I'm quite happy to point it out to you.
The belief that you having a baby trumps someone with a disability is mind-boggling.
I don't care if it's been said before:
BB spaces are enshrined in law, P&C spaces are not.
You're just the kind of person who made my life miserable when my disabled DC was young - judgemental in the extreme, and picking on someone who was already having a hard time due to the fact that their child is disabled.
I'm embarrassed on your behalf. Entitled doesn't even one lose to what you are. Angry

NeedMoreMilk · 18/08/2022 20:31

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She ‘had a go’ at her for parking in a P&C space and then not producing a child. She didn’t know that there was a child in the car (disabled or otherwise) when she challenged her about being there as the woman was going into the supermarket on her own.

I wouldn’t have said anything to her at the time and I certainly wouldn’t have pointed out the location of the disabled spaces once she’d said she had her son in the car, but I am amazed that this is the worst thing you’ve ever read.

Meraas · 18/08/2022 20:32

You're just the kind of person who made my life miserable when my disabled DC was young - judgemental in the extreme, and picking on someone who was already having a hard time due to the fact that their child is disabled.

Exactly. And then posting it on here, looking for praise and pats on the back for asking someone with a BB badge to leave.

Disgraceful. I’ve come across people like OP in real life, it’s not pretty.

TooManyPJs · 18/08/2022 20:33

You are completely out of order. Can't believe you had a go at a mum WITH a disabled child. Do you not think her life is hard enough as it is.

At the point she confirmed she had a child with her was the point you should have apologised and walked away. Unbelievable you carried on at her. Ideally you should not have spoken to her at all. If you have concerns about the valid use of a suave talk to the shop staff/security. It's then up to them what they do.

Meraas · 18/08/2022 20:33

NeedMoreMilk · 18/08/2022 20:31

She ‘had a go’ at her for parking in a P&C space and then not producing a child. She didn’t know that there was a child in the car (disabled or otherwise) when she challenged her about being there as the woman was going into the supermarket on her own.

I wouldn’t have said anything to her at the time and I certainly wouldn’t have pointed out the location of the disabled spaces once she’d said she had her son in the car, but I am amazed that this is the worst thing you’ve ever read.

Show quote history

Here’s a thought - check the car for a blue badge before mouthing off, or justifying the unjustifiable.