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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said something?!

284 replies

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:21

At the supermarket earlier, and parked in a parent and child space with DH and 10 month old DS.

As I was getting DS out of the car a car pulled into the parent and child space next to us, and a woman got out and started walking towards the supermarket without any kids.

I called after her and said "You know you've parked in a P&C space, yeah?" and she started huffing and puffing that she had her son with her, who was in the car. I pointed out that the spaces are for parents with children who need the extra room to get them out of the car, and then she said that her son was disabled and that she had a disabled badge. I then said that the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park, at which point she started getting her son out of the car and telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I'm just so sick of entitled fuckers using these spaces without any need to when I've often struggled trying to get DS out of his car seat without sufficient space.

DH was mortified and said I should have just left it.

WIBU?

OP posts:
deathofastrawberry · 18/08/2022 21:35

So you posted here for validation probably because your DH made you realise how much of a dick you were .. just so you could inflate your own ego. You didn't even feel guilty for your actions at all by the looks of it, you just wanted people to side with you so you felt better about yourself. I bet you regret posting now!

Thatboymum · 18/08/2022 21:41

This reply has been deleted

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allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:20

Wow. I know there are no laws regarding P&C spaces but I too get really sick of people using them who don’t need them. I genuinely wish they would put them further from the shops (with a path to the shop to minimise traffic danger) as then they would be left for those of us who need them. Anyway…

This woman didn’t need one as she wasn’t going to take her child out of the car. (Wondering how old the child was and weather it was appropriate to leave him alone when she went into the shops. But that’s not the point.) Totally irrelevant that he was disabled as surely it doesn’t matter where the car is parked if all he’s going to do is sit in it. All the OP did was state facts, she did not abuse or insult her as many people here have done to the OP. She also did not say anything in front of the child as he was in the car.

The woman then dragged her disabled son out of the car to make a point! Wtf?! The fact that she changed her actions showed she also thought she was in the wrong. She could have just ignored OP, or said she wasn’t going to move the car and carried on with her day. But no. She made a scene and brought her child into it. Maybe she was having a bad day and this was the final straw but she really shouldn’t be dragging her son into her problems. And people say the OP is unreasonable. Again, wow.

OP, I’m so sorry people have been so rude to you. Please don’t let strangers on the internet upset you!

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:22

generalh · 18/08/2022 20:38

I had my husband park in child spaces when I broke my leg and I needed extra space to get out if the car with a full leg plaster cast and trying to negotiate a wheelchair from a car. If you had said something to me I would have told you to fuck off. Hope that helps.

Not the same at all. You had a clear need for the extra space. This woman did not. Pointless comment.

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:25

spagbog5 · 18/08/2022 20:45

Oh god - pfb most definitely.

You do know you are not the only person in the world to have a child and that many people managed for years to shop before parent and child spaces were even invented !!

I hate this argument. “We had it tough in the old days and we managed so nothing should ever be done to make life easier for others.” Stop being ridiculous.

TastesLikeStrawberries · 18/08/2022 22:28

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:43

To be clear, I didn't know she had a child with her. It just looked like she had left her car parked in the space to nip in to the shops!

Have you nothing better to do with your time? You had a space so what difference did it make to you, you had no reason to open your mouth.

bg21 · 18/08/2022 22:29

This reply has been deleted

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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 18/08/2022 22:32

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:20

Wow. I know there are no laws regarding P&C spaces but I too get really sick of people using them who don’t need them. I genuinely wish they would put them further from the shops (with a path to the shop to minimise traffic danger) as then they would be left for those of us who need them. Anyway…

This woman didn’t need one as she wasn’t going to take her child out of the car. (Wondering how old the child was and weather it was appropriate to leave him alone when she went into the shops. But that’s not the point.) Totally irrelevant that he was disabled as surely it doesn’t matter where the car is parked if all he’s going to do is sit in it. All the OP did was state facts, she did not abuse or insult her as many people here have done to the OP. She also did not say anything in front of the child as he was in the car.

The woman then dragged her disabled son out of the car to make a point! Wtf?! The fact that she changed her actions showed she also thought she was in the wrong. She could have just ignored OP, or said she wasn’t going to move the car and carried on with her day. But no. She made a scene and brought her child into it. Maybe she was having a bad day and this was the final straw but she really shouldn’t be dragging her son into her problems. And people say the OP is unreasonable. Again, wow.

OP, I’m so sorry people have been so rude to you. Please don’t let strangers on the internet upset you!

No this was all on OP, being sanctimonious and rude. Not on the other woman.

Meraas · 18/08/2022 22:33

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:25

I hate this argument. “We had it tough in the old days and we managed so nothing should ever be done to make life easier for others.” Stop being ridiculous.

Show quote history

Same applies to disabled people. Just because disabled people didn't have rights in the old days doesn’t mean we can’t make their lives easier now. OP was trying to make harder for a disabled person.

wedonttalkaboutyouno · 18/08/2022 22:40

I would never say anything to someone who parked in a P&C bay without a child, but it does piss me off how often it happens (I’m talking young men in sports cars, tradesmen in white vans etc, not people who are likely to need the extra space). I don’t see why people are so down on parents who would like a bit more space to get their children in and out of the car. I will happily park in a space miles away from the store instead, but you can guarantee someone will come along and park right next to you anyway, no matter how empty the car park is. Someone once reversed INTO my baby’s pram (thank god I had already put her in the car!) whilst it was behind my car in a car park, as only standard spaces were available. If there had been a P&C space, I could have put the pram at the side of the car safely. This isn’t disabled people versus parents, this is just an extra safety measure for children, but something most parents seemingly don’t seem to think we should have! I don’t get it.

Popsicle33 · 18/08/2022 22:43

You sound like a total cheeky fucker. What a bitch you were! I don't blame your husband for being mortified. Feel good?

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:44

Meraas · 18/08/2022 22:33

Same applies to disabled people. Just because disabled people didn't have rights in the old days doesn’t mean we can’t make their lives easier now. OP was trying to make harder for a disabled person.

Show quote history

No she wasn’t. She didn’t even know there was a child in the car, how could she have known he was disabled?!

The child’s mother decided to drag him out of the car to make a point when she was challenged. If anything, she was the one making his life harder. Why on earth would you drag a child - disabled or not - into a disagreement when there is absolutely no need to do so?!

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:52

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 18/08/2022 22:32

No this was all on OP, being sanctimonious and rude. Not on the other woman.

Show quote history

Without hearing the tone of voice or the exact words used we have no way of knowing whether or not she was rude.

We do know, however, that the other women took her disabled son out of the car for no reason exposing him to their disagreement and her stress when she could have just left him in peace. Regardless of who you agree with re the parking situation, you surely can’t think that’s ok!

FlissyPaps · 18/08/2022 22:57

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:52

Without hearing the tone of voice or the exact words used we have no way of knowing whether or not she was rude.

We do know, however, that the other women took her disabled son out of the car for no reason exposing him to their disagreement and her stress when she could have just left him in peace. Regardless of who you agree with re the parking situation, you surely can’t think that’s ok!

Show quote history

Oh I think 99% of posters believe the OP was rude.

The OP could have left this woman in piece. But she didn’t. She started it. She antagonised and was aggressive. This is evident from the original post.

The other woman would’ve had had to “drag” her child out of her car if OP minded her own business.

Like OP said upthread, you never know what someone is going through. Why are you trying to excuse OP’s shocking behaviour and berate this other woman who probably felt insulted.

MingeofDeath · 18/08/2022 22:59

How did we manage in the dark days before P&C places became a thing?🙄

vodkaredbullgirl · 18/08/2022 23:03

MingeofDeath · 18/08/2022 22:59

How did we manage in the dark days before P&C places became a thing?🙄

I remember when Tesco's started many moons ago. Think we had to get a sign from the supermarket to say we had children.

Meraas · 18/08/2022 23:03

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 22:44

No she wasn’t. She didn’t even know there was a child in the car, how could she have known he was disabled?!

The child’s mother decided to drag him out of the car to make a point when she was challenged. If anything, she was the one making his life harder. Why on earth would you drag a child - disabled or not - into a disagreement when there is absolutely no need to do so?!

Show quote history

Are you for real?! After the woman told OP her disabled son was in the car and she had a BB, OP told her ’the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park’.

So OP knew he was disabled. Stop justifying the unjustifiable. And it’s because of OP that the poor woman felt pressured to get her son out of the car.

Hapoydayz · 18/08/2022 23:08

Op I’m embarrassed for you. Why on earth would you behave like this over a parking space?!

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 23:08

Meraas · 18/08/2022 23:03

Are you for real?! After the woman told OP her disabled son was in the car and she had a BB, OP told her ’the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park’.

So OP knew he was disabled. Stop justifying the unjustifiable. And it’s because of OP that the poor woman felt pressured to get her son out of the car.

Show quote history

Saying “the disabled spaces are over there” is unjustifiable to you? Good grief. How do you cope with life being so easily offended?

Brigante9 · 18/08/2022 23:09

Unbelievable. You had a go at someone with a disabled child who correctly parked in a P&C space?! Parking there doesn’t mean you have to get the children out, there isn’t a law about it. You were massively unreasonable and I would have had such a go at you.

Meraas · 18/08/2022 23:12

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 23:08

Saying “the disabled spaces are over there” is unjustifiable to you? Good grief. How do you cope with life being so easily offended?

Show quote history

It’s not about me, it’s about disabled people like my mum, who shouldn’t be told (but is) by people like you and OP that they can’t park in a place where they are completely at liberty to park.

Yes, that is unjustifiable. You may not give a shit about rights for disabled people, but I do. Where does it stop? These rights had hard won and it’s not people like you to trample on them.

Original poster
Briony22 · 18/08/2022 23:21

@Meraas Rights for disabled people?! I think you've spectacularly missed the point. As I mentioned before, there was no disabled badge.

@allyouneedismarmite Thanks so much - you sound like my kind of person!

OP posts:
allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 23:22

Meraas · 18/08/2022 23:12

It’s not about me, it’s about disabled people like my mum, who shouldn’t be told (but is) by people like you and OP that they can’t park in a place where they are completely at liberty to park.

Yes, that is unjustifiable. You may not give a shit about rights for disabled people, but I do. Where does it stop? These rights had hard won and it’s not people like you to trample on them.

Show quote history

I’ve clearly touched a nerve. You are out of order telling me I don’t give a shit about rights for disabled people. You are projecting your own situation onto this and therefore lack perspective. For what it’s worth, I have never challenged anyone’s right to park anywhere. I simply feel that, in this case, there was no need to use a parent and child space. I felt people were going way over the top with their responses to OP and wanted to offer another perspective. It’s ok that you don’t agree with me. I’m sorry if your mum has a tough time.

Paul85 · 18/08/2022 23:24

Some people just cant keep their mouth shut and mind their own business..

allyouneedismarmite · 18/08/2022 23:27

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 23:21

@Meraas Rights for disabled people?! I think you've spectacularly missed the point. As I mentioned before, there was no disabled badge.

@allyouneedismarmite Thanks so much - you sound like my kind of person!

I’m honestly shocked by the abuse you’ve received on this post. I’ve reported a few of the worst comments and they have been removed. I think most people have seen the word disabled and got themselves into a rage without taking the time to understand what actually happened!