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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said something?!

284 replies

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:21

At the supermarket earlier, and parked in a parent and child space with DH and 10 month old DS.

As I was getting DS out of the car a car pulled into the parent and child space next to us, and a woman got out and started walking towards the supermarket without any kids.

I called after her and said "You know you've parked in a P&C space, yeah?" and she started huffing and puffing that she had her son with her, who was in the car. I pointed out that the spaces are for parents with children who need the extra room to get them out of the car, and then she said that her son was disabled and that she had a disabled badge. I then said that the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park, at which point she started getting her son out of the car and telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I'm just so sick of entitled fuckers using these spaces without any need to when I've often struggled trying to get DS out of his car seat without sufficient space.

DH was mortified and said I should have just left it.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Pink15 · 18/08/2022 18:52

I agree with you OP. It's irrelevant who was in the car if she was the only one getting out. She personally didn't need a closer spot or more room to get herself out the car

SallyWD · 18/08/2022 18:53

You should have been absolutely certain she didn't have a child with her before you kicked off. As she had a disabled child you were being very unreasonable! Are you usually so angry?

tiggergoesbounce · 18/08/2022 18:53

Haha, get your hard hat OP. MNers are well known for being crazy over Parent and child spaces

They blabber on about entitled people using them obviouslt despite that being their purpose and why the supermarket spent money putting them their displaying how they wanted them to be used.

It is annoying seeing entitled people who use them when they are not the intended user, but hey ho.

If she wasnt getting her kid out she should have parked elsewhere, if she has a blue badge, use that if there is space, if not of course use the next best space.

I mean she may have been going for a trolley while her DH waits with the child, so i probably would only say something if they returned without a child. But to be honest the sorts of people who abuse these spaces arent the sort who would have a rational chat, talking to a brick wall, so i wouldn't probably bother.

dribblewibble · 18/08/2022 18:54

I hope you apologised.

I parked in them before I got my blue badge because I need to open the door wide. No one ever said anything to me though.

I still do if the disabled spaces are full.

Coachwork · 18/08/2022 18:55

If this is real and you'd said it to me I'd have told you to fuck off. How dare you?

Sparklingbrook · 18/08/2022 18:55

MNers are well known for being crazy over Parent and child spaces

Particularly the OPs of threads about them, they are often the craziest.

TheStarsDontShine · 18/08/2022 18:55

I park in the p and c spaces because they're closest to the front of the store (and my need for a blue badge trumps your choice to have a child) Biscuit

Mojoj · 18/08/2022 18:56

I'd have told you to fuck off and mind your own business.

NeedMoreMilk · 18/08/2022 18:56

Obviously an unpopular opinion but I’m inclined to agree with you OP. Parents with buggies can’t park in the disabled spaces, so it makes sense for blue badge holders to leave those spaces free if they can. I understand they’re not any sort of right (P&C spaces) but they do make things easier and safer.

My grandmother always used to tell us to park in a disabled space (she is a blue badge holder) because she was with us, even if she wasn’t getting out of the car, and it used to make me really uncomfortable. I guess maybe the woman in the post wanted to be able to get her son out easily in case he decided he needed the loo or something though.

SucculentSunshine · 18/08/2022 18:58

Wind your neck in.

Original poster
Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:59

OK, so I appreciate that the general consensus is that I was in the wrong. But surely the point is that, disabled or not, the extra space isn't needed if the person isn't actually getting out of the car? I don't for one minute think that P&C spaces are a God-given right, and I wouldnt mind if they were miles away from the store. However, my experience is that the extra space is needed to get my baby out of the car without damaging the car door/other cars parked next to me. I guess I was just so fed up of seeing people park in these spaces without a need to and I exploded. I certainly won't be doing it again!@Pink15 - thanks so much for appreciating where I was coming from!

OP posts:
TheStarsDontShine · 18/08/2022 18:59

NeedMoreMilk · 18/08/2022 18:56

Obviously an unpopular opinion but I’m inclined to agree with you OP. Parents with buggies can’t park in the disabled spaces, so it makes sense for blue badge holders to leave those spaces free if they can. I understand they’re not any sort of right (P&C spaces) but they do make things easier and safer.

My grandmother always used to tell us to park in a disabled space (she is a blue badge holder) because she was with us, even if she wasn’t getting out of the car, and it used to make me really uncomfortable. I guess maybe the woman in the post wanted to be able to get her son out easily in case he decided he needed the loo or something though.

Again having a child in a buggy is a choice. My disability isn't. It's not difficult ffs The two spaces are not comparable. Disabled spots are a legality. P and c spots are a courtesy Biscuit

Penguinfeather781 · 18/08/2022 19:01

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:21

At the supermarket earlier, and parked in a parent and child space with DH and 10 month old DS.

As I was getting DS out of the car a car pulled into the parent and child space next to us, and a woman got out and started walking towards the supermarket without any kids.

I called after her and said "You know you've parked in a P&C space, yeah?" and she started huffing and puffing that she had her son with her, who was in the car. I pointed out that the spaces are for parents with children who need the extra room to get them out of the car, and then she said that her son was disabled and that she had a disabled badge. I then said that the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park, at which point she started getting her son out of the car and telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I'm just so sick of entitled fuckers using these spaces without any need to when I've often struggled trying to get DS out of his car seat without sufficient space.

DH was mortified and said I should have just left it.

WIBU?

You had your DH with you so if I wanted to be a cow I could point out you could have got out with DS and then your DH could have parked in a normal spot, thus saving p&c space for someone who needed it even more than you. Like someone with a disabled passenger for instance.

Disabled badge trumps everything as far as I’m concerned - I’ve parked in a P&C spot with an elderly person with a disabled badge before because it was more convenient for the disabled person than the disabled spots. I don’t give two hoots if that means someone with a baby had to park slightly further away.

In future just mind your own business, especially if it’s not directly impacting you. No one appointed you parking monitor.

Hawkins001 · 18/08/2022 19:01

Toucan123 · 18/08/2022 18:29

Are you actually serious? You had a go at someone with a disabled child for using a parent and child space?! If so then you should be ashamed of yourself. You probably ruined their day and made them feel really upset. Well done you.

Originally the driver was just going into the store, it was only when the op said, that the last decided to take the son into the store

Hawkins001 · 18/08/2022 19:01

*lady

dribblewibble · 18/08/2022 19:02

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:59

OK, so I appreciate that the general consensus is that I was in the wrong. But surely the point is that, disabled or not, the extra space isn't needed if the person isn't actually getting out of the car? I don't for one minute think that P&C spaces are a God-given right, and I wouldnt mind if they were miles away from the store. However, my experience is that the extra space is needed to get my baby out of the car without damaging the car door/other cars parked next to me. I guess I was just so fed up of seeing people park in these spaces without a need to and I exploded. I certainly won't be doing it again!@Pink15 - thanks so much for appreciating where I was coming from!

You had your husband with you. You didn't need the P&C space either.

dribblewibble · 18/08/2022 19:03

NeedMoreMilk · 18/08/2022 18:56

Obviously an unpopular opinion but I’m inclined to agree with you OP. Parents with buggies can’t park in the disabled spaces, so it makes sense for blue badge holders to leave those spaces free if they can. I understand they’re not any sort of right (P&C spaces) but they do make things easier and safer.

My grandmother always used to tell us to park in a disabled space (she is a blue badge holder) because she was with us, even if she wasn’t getting out of the car, and it used to make me really uncomfortable. I guess maybe the woman in the post wanted to be able to get her son out easily in case he decided he needed the loo or something though.

Having a baby in a buggy is a choice. My disability isn't.

StoneofDestiny · 18/08/2022 19:06

About time the P&C spaces were moved away from the entrance to stores. They can still have the 'wider spaces' they claim to need. Then it will be more obvious how 'essential' they are.
On Mumsnet there are mums saying they need them as they are pregnant (big), while their are larger people needing them - well, because they are big! That added to the fact that there are bigger cars now.........we need bigger spaces for everybody

NeedMoreMilk · 18/08/2022 19:06

TheStarsDontShine · 18/08/2022 18:59

Again having a child in a buggy is a choice. My disability isn't. It's not difficult ffs The two spaces are not comparable. Disabled spots are a legality. P and c spots are a courtesy Biscuit

Show quote history

I literally said that I realised P&C spaces aren’t any kind of right.

I realise how important disabled spots are, that’s why it used to make me uncomfortable when my grandmother tried to get us to park in one when she wasn’t getting out of the car, as we had absolutely no need to. Her mere presence didn’t cause us to need a bigger or closer space and we could have been taking one away from someone who needed it.

But I do find it odd that the woman in the OP parked in a P&C space and not a disabled one when her child wasn’t even getting out of the car.

StrawberriesAndCreamPlease · 18/08/2022 19:07

Jesus op. Get a hobby.

Azandme · 18/08/2022 19:08

The disabled person doesn't need to be getting out of the car to use the badge. Perhaps they couldn't be left very long so parking close to the door was a necessity.

The point is blue badge holders are allowed to use the spaces (any one is, they're a courtesy), and noone awarded you the parking monitor badge, so perhaps instead of getting all holier than thou, you live and let live?

Soubriquet · 18/08/2022 19:09

Yabu

She can park there even if she has no kids.

Nothing illegal about it. Annoying yes but not illegal.

I would even encourage a blue badge holder to park there if they can’t get a blue badge space. Even if they were elderly!

FlissyPaps · 18/08/2022 19:09

Honestly OP, mind your own business.

You weren’t inconvenienced by this lady. It’s really rude and aggressive to shout after a complete stranger. Really bad to do that infront of children.

PonyPatter44 · 18/08/2022 19:11

Maybe you just need more practice at getting the baby in and out of the car. You don't generally need the door flung open full-width in order to strap a child into a car seat.

Some grim trout tried this with me a couple of years ago. She started on at me about not having a child with me, I couldn't even be arsed to respond, so I just looked her up and down, and then looked at her dreadful troll-like mum busily dropping fag-ash all over the baby as she put the buggy up... replying to her would have felt very much like playing chess with a pigeon!

Hotcrossbunnowplease · 18/08/2022 19:13

Did you see the blue badge? It sounds to me like she was lying to cover her arse because she got caught. I mean, I think it’s a bit ott to get into a spat with her, but I don’t buy her story. Also, if a child is old enough to leave alone in the car they are are too old to need a p&f space, it’s for kids in car seats